h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

bravo, encore
*that's as much 'standing ovation as I dare - the Spam police may be watching*
more, bravo, encore

*takes jwf's hand and pulls him to his feet.*

Come on, dance! (humming!!)

(Hums) (and haws)
No! You sing! That was great. I heard the tune and everything. I was wondering what Wumbe was mumbling and then you burst into song ..and
oh it was like a bell, clear, rich melodic.. angelic..
more ..more.

*Sits down and hides behind Gwennie's discarded newspaper.*

*falling to one knee, clasping hands in prayer-like plaintive fashion and singing boldly*
Please, please, please..
*no effect*
You are my joy and my heart's inspiration..
*no effect*
Open up your heart and..
Oh, is that todays paper? May I have the Sports section?
Please, please, please..

*Quietly hands him the sports section. Goes on reading Book Reviews. After some silence...*

Er, John? Sorry about the shark thing. Didn't mean anything by it.

*Peeks at him over the edge of the paper.*

*honestly wondering 'what shark thing?' but not wanting to ask as it obviously troubles her - but fearful to admit it was either missed, ignored or taken in a better light than expected - desperately seeks way to dismiss whole issue without further offense*

Says here the Sharks are playing the Whalers - should be quite a game. I wonder if it's on telly? Can't get you to sing then?

*sticks nose into sports section hoping she'll just sing*
*She doesn't, seems engrossed in Book Reviews*

Read any good books lately?
Have there been any goods lately?

*uh snorf snaffle umble uh*
bangbangbangbangbangbangbangbangbangbang
"hippo birdie 2 me
hippo birdie 2 me
hippo birdie 2 meeeee eeeee
hippo birdie to me"
bang bang bang bang bang bang
*mmmm back to the nod*

Well they say a change is good for you, I hope your nose enjoys the sports section.

I think it might have been something about "sharks in a feeding frenzy", so that may explain not noticing it.

Now if it had been "English sharks in a feeding frenzy".......

Or nursing sharks - I'd rather be bottle fed. Speachin o' which..

The last good book I read was the 'Domesday Book,' by Connie Willis. It was about time travel back to the good old days of the Black Death in Europe.

Did you want something from the bar? I wouldn't mind a myself.

Did someone mention bar? ....and a friends still?

Wahoo, blindness here we come!

Cast aside thy papers and drink.

NB for pedants only: In the above sentence I mean throw away your reading material and start imbibing. I wish to make it known that I in no way encourage the wasteful, nay, treasonous act of throwing away alcohol.

Thank you for listening



...now what are you having?

No thanks I'm on the bottle.

Connie Willis, eh? Must be American. Seems to me the Doomsday Book pre-dates the plague by at least a hundred years... Furthermore 'Doom' had nowt to do with Death...
Well full points to ya anyway M-R, the last book I read was my Windows Instruction Manual. And I didn't finish it..

On second thought Wumbe I'll mix my drinks. Thanks.

*Drapes himself in a towel, and mixes Gin and Brandy to create a Gandy for jwf.*

Now mari-rae, what do you want? Not Vermouth and Gin I hope.

You're lucky getting an instruction manual for windows jwf. When I moved to this house, it took me a month to figure out how to let the car fumes in.

I could go for a nice large v.t., please. With a slice of lime if you have any?

Thanks!

Well now wha'... She's run off again! Damn! Wanted to get her singing. Lovely voice. Hmmrph! Damn. Something I said do you think?
Women, bah! Humbug I say. Humbug!
*sticks nose in Book Review section hoping it was something they said*
's an article in here on the Great White. Hrmmph. Nasty business ..sharks.
*continues mumbling - hidden behind upside down newspaper*

boo!

Who ..!
Wha ..!
Egad! It's you. Hoooph! My lord you gave me a fright. One really ought not sneak up on an old fart like that. Heart y'know. Not what it used to be.

hehehe! Got to try something to get you up out of that chair!!

That Madam is no chair, that chair is a commode.

Couldn't you tell from the sophisticated Al Bundy pose?

I think I need a drink, I'm now having horrible visions and (non)flushbacks to other places of elderly retreat.