h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Tosses him the towel, and sits on a barstool. Both hands are firmly on her glass. Sips drink. *

You are a mess. (keen observation, and pointing out the obvious. Nothing gets past her, excepting obscure riddles and references to persons unknown to her.)

Curses. Subtle plan foiled again!

Save that foil! We need to cover a bit of wall in the Cellar yet.

Do not jest young man, I am distraught. (PS what happened to your 13 then?)

Useful at other sites (Yes there is more to the web than h2g2 - blasphemy I know) because there are so many John Fultons in cyberspace and one of them is a lawyer. Not as many as John Smith or Jones in RL but for some reason many johnsfulton use their real names rather than be creative. Even johnWfulton was being used at Napster so I added the 13 (my birthdate and lucky number). But it now seems safe to do without it here as I am (dare I say it) unique. (That's latin -Uni meaning one and equus meaning horse).

When you see one, you could nique up on it when it wasn't looking.

Maybe the uniquorn ones.
(or as they say in Wisconsin - the unikorn ones)

Alas, the dairy farmers herebouts, wouldn't know a unicorn if it came up and bit them somewhere or other. Equus is not a tolerated beast. Bovines are IT. Although, there is a family of Amish down the road who do use horses as work animals... they have big draft horses for field work and lighter horses for pulling their wagons and carts. Are you familiar with Amish? I could elaborate, but I am getting a dry throat.

Been to Wisconsin, have you?

Hitchhiked thru way back in the 70's..I seem to remember fields of corn..
But I knew you were from there

Oh and Madison. I remember being really stoned at the campous for a few days. Very friendly place full of potsmoking peaceniks.

Yes, Madison is an island of culture amid the corn. Where are you from?

I live in that old Jag out back...
But I'll be spending the evening in the Cellar where "Nothing Is Sacred" just in case the world ends at midnight.

You live inside Mick Jagger? Geez. I bet you could tell us a few tales of Mars Bars and stuff?

Can't you just say that you're from the land of Dion?

PS The world does end at midnight, I saw a guy with a sandwich board. Obviously it's not midnight New Zealand time, but I hope the old planet holds out for a few more hours until I am suitably prepared for hyperspace a la Ford Prefect and Arthur. (and yes I do have a towel in the bag, in case the drink leaks and I have to suck the towel)

PPS...and reading your home page when halfway to Nirvana is not recommended.

That's the only compliment you'll ever get from me

You must be left handed, right.
I only wrote my homepage. So I don't have to read it, coming or going to or from Nirvana or other points south. It's a lot like my ugly mug, most times I don't have to look at it, especially now that I forego shaving and brushing my teeth, but I get some small satisfaction that it disturbs others.

Oh, yeah, I live in Dionville, home of the Dionquintuplets and episodes of Due South, South Park and the Trawna Make-Beliefs.

Hey, isn't that where The Guess Who retired to?

At th moment I think I'm ambidextrous as I'm smoking with my left hand and drinkinking with my right. Some might say that my mouth would perform both actions better, but I find the ciggies go "ssssss" and become extremely hard to get a draw from.

Who mentioned the Guess Who, that record's gonna bug me now...and Randy Bachman is springing to mind. Was he in them as well as BTO?

Now that's what you call a BOF question!

PS why do you shave your teeth. Immac is much better.

Ah, American Woman. Time to get wrecked.

May you post in peace, and all your hangovers be as bad as mine (traditional greeting of the paralytic paranoics)

Yup, he said, (glad to answer old BOF question for a change) same Bachman. They (guess whom) recently did a re-union concert - yeah I know, that's what I said, and I didn't bother to watch it on tv - but then someone forced me to look at a tape.
They still got harmony, better than ever, and considering it was a live outdoor performance -
I'll spare you allusions to vintage wine and old Strativari..

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