h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Canned?

I like your taste in breakfasts mari-rae

*Hopes that a stiff drink will dispel the HB aura ...*

Harry's best movie was 'The World,The Flesh and the Devil' (c.1961) a post nuclear holocaust melodrama where only 3 people survive a global neutron thingy. Harry was either the Flesh or the Devil. The chick obviously meant the World to Harry and the white guy. Film inspired one of Bob Dylan's 'Dream' songs - where he recreated the 'stealing a Cadillac by driving it through the showroom window scene' with the lyric 'nice car to drive - after a war' but hey we don't want to end up singing Dylan songs..
Harry sang a song in that movie (The Love Theme from the World, the Flesh and the Devil) also known as 'Fifteen' which goes like this -
'At fifteen I saw her
and thought her
so beautiful..
At seventeen I wooed her
etc etc...'
Which itself was antecedent to Sinatra's 'A very Good year', the best version of which is by Homer J Simpson -
'Drank some really good beer
when I was seventeen,
stayed up listening to Queen
when I was seventee...'

*notices everyone staring and turns away to offer rock another cookie*

*Hands johnw. her margarita and pours another for herself.*

Here, sweetie, you'll feel better after this.

If we ever wander into the Sinatra universe, anyone singing "My Way" should be banned!

*Absent midedly picks up a margarita from the bar and drinks it, thus leaving mari yet again without a drink*

*Rummages behind the bar and comes up with no more margarita mix and no more tequila. *

Someone sighed? Like this drink, by the way ... who made it?

No, here Marianne, you drink this,I'm fine thanks, just a little hyper, had too much sugar, gotta find the Skipper and Ginger and get offa this island before they set fire to the cane fields. No really too much sugar in tequila for me dear. Unless ..*eyes cookie crumbs suspiciously then wonders closer to the bucket with the lava rock*...

I'll have whatever jwf's been having.....

*looks on in amazement as a moose is brought into the pub*

Haha, very funny. *Pours a bag of sugar over the table, sticks a straw up each nostril, and snorts the lot.*

Has anyone ever done any research on whether sugar is bad for your nasal hairs?

*a leather-helmeted figure enters the room*

Oh, hello Biggles, you'll be looking for Ginger as well then?

*Looks at the new arrivals; blinks; decides to stick to in future*

*Singing 'I wander as I wonder...', I approach the glowing bucket gingerly, noting that Kes is now firmly stuck to his , Wumbeevil is being unusually sweet, Mari-rae (reluctant to drink from glass where my lips may have touched) has disappeared behind the bar (Again!), and a handsome stranger in a leather helmet is trying to wrangle a moose ..Hey a moose! A really ..nice moose.*

Woh! Look at the rack on that!

LOL

As Rabbie would sat "Big sleek sensuous beastie"

Nay, e'en Rabbie would ne'er be that drunk. A moose weighs about 2 tons. Stands as tall as a Clydesdale with a luggage rack from an airport taxi on its head. It hairy coat is nay sleek; 'smore like one of them shaggy bull things Scotsmen call cows. Hairy, filthy and foul. It reacts like a rhino. Either disappointing by leaving abruptly or by not leaving. Equally abruptly.
When a car hits one it hits the legs and two tons of animal crash in the windscreen. The numbers of moose and people fatally involved are horrific. To put that comment in perspective, 600 black bears are killed in Nova Scotia by autos every year but nobody cares because they are relatively small and usually stick to the grillwork. Or, more people are killed in moose collisions every week than all the airbags in all the world have ever killed so far. It's a jungle out here.

Don't they get their antlers caught in the lianas?
(Well, at least they must provide convenient perches for the macaws and macaques)

Oh, excuse me, wrong bar. Did I take a wrong turning on the way back from the Ladies?

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I hate to say it, but some of these meeces look quite sexy when they're dolled up for a night on the town.

In Canada do you get the old excuse, "It wash schiding behind a schignposht and jumped out in front of me oshifer"

Now I'm going to have to go and find the most famous moose of all. BBL

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There's 141 of them! My favourite is "Canada's First Fire Truck".

Ah, I just looked at the ones on the main page, little realising that other beauties lay on the left.

I must admit, for me it was love at first sight with Mamma Mia Moose.

I thought you'ld have been into Radio Moose, it's also one of the cheapest there.

I say! I think you ought to tie that thing up, you know ... it's starting to wander round and chew the chairs... There's a moose loose aboot the hoose!