h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I rule Scotland! Well not literally, just the ASL operations in Scotland but I'm slowly building power. Hence the fear in the eyes of all native squirrels. Haha!
By th' w'y, c''ld w' n'v'r d' th's th'ng w'th r'm'v'ng v;w;ls 'g''n pl''s' b'c''s' 't's r''lly 'nn'y'ng!

(missing vowels:
'' ''e 'a' 'ou'' 'e 'e'e' 'o ''i' ''i'' 'i'' 'e'o'i'' 'o'e'' a'ai' ''ea'e 'e'au'e i''' 'ea''' a''o'i''!)

Anyway, is "screwed" a moderated word?

I guess not, since no one did anything to you Bob, or maybe thats just 'cause you're the chief of Scotland ASL

Right,

There will be a discontinuation of the technical team for 3 weeks as I'm heading into the Big Bandwagon house. I will spread the ASL word to the greater population as often as I can.

Ciao,

Rama

sorry bout the annoying vowel thnig bob. *cowers some more*

all I have to say at the moment is if you stay away from trees, the squirrels stay away from you. No big green leafy things, no squirrels. Its the ultimate saftey methode

actually, marvin, that's not strictly accurate. although they prefer trees, squirrels do leave the cover of the great leafy7 ones from tiume to time. usually in miniature tanks or attack planes, but that's another story....

and they will go to any and all lengths to get their little paws on walnuts.

--the

…and chocolate chip cookies, as I discovered last time I put some outside to cool off after being baked

*A large wolf bounds into the forum. It transforms into GL.*

Hi folks. I always knew there was something up with those durn squirrels and now I know what. I want to sign up to do my part in erradicating them. Where I live, there are black squirrels too. I think they might be commando units or something, but they certainly bear watching.

I haven't read all of this thread, so if there is anything important I should know, please tell me. You can list me as chief canine officer.


IRL I have been battling squirrels for years. I have been an avid gardener, and the squirrels have been a major nuisance. I have live-trapped about 25 squirrels per year for the last 4 or 5 years and taken them to a park on the other side of the river from where I lived. There doesn't seem to be any noticable decline in the squirrel population of my garden, though. But I have ultimately won that battle - I just moved to an apartment

Thats not winning, its running away. and if you are surronded by concret and crazy drivers then the squirrels can't get to you because they get road-killed. Mad drunken warrior, do you think you can recruit some subordinates to drive around in the woods and smash the little fuzzy ones. We can use dragons to clear civilians from their path to limit the destruction. Does anyone else thing Rama's blank message was very enlightening?

marv

Ahhhhh....one of my favourite post pub activities....poisoning pigeons in the park
Anyway, I'm always sending my subordinates to go on Squirrel bashing missions...i find a baseball bat works nicely

Well, in my squirrel capturing experience, I have found that they have a particular weakness for peanut butter on crackers. Perhaps this might be useful in our campaign.

Don't capture, they might brainwash you. Like the superweeds, they are taking over the world

peanut butter on crackers? but...but...but those are MY rations, dammit! do i HAVE to use them to trap squirrels?

oh, the sacrifices we must make....

squirrel activity here still extremely low. getting nervous. something's brewing.

--the

They are always planing something

B*****ks.
I just noticed...my user name has an open bracket and no closing bracket...how could I let this slip past me...I'm one of those damn annoying pedantic grammatic people (not that you'd notice from my posts no doubt........or that last sentence for that matter).
I'd better go and fix this security breach
(typical isn't it...one week in the job and already I'm uncovering leaks in my own department dammit..this isn't right)
(oh..and Bob..i'm not gonna use my role as head of Insec to start purges and things...I'm just gonna use it as a way to be able to insult people and have them too scared of me to protest)

hummmmmmms

day trip to new jersey.... saw record low of one squirrel. it was picking its way across the asphalt of a suburban parking lot, but bolted when it saw me (which is good, because my equipment was in the car and i couldn't have done anything to it if it had attacked).

but this raises questions. what the hell was a squirrel doing on asphalt? why did the squirrel cross the road? and if it was to get the the other side, what on the other side did it find so friggin enticing? okay, i guess crossing roads is excusable, but a parking lot?!?!

--the

there's only one possible answer: to steal the cars of unsuspecting victims

they followed me. today. I was shadowed by squirrels there and back. they waited and kept after me. no cars yet but its only a matter of time. need sleep. or coffee. or ARG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!