h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ok, i shall remember that for next time

*in another thread, Just Justin wonders how else to perform superhero deeds to prevent an injury*

Oh, for goodness sake...

SSSSHHHHHH!!!!



The Dewy Demon *secretly quite glad something's happening*

Heavens alive!! I can't even spell my own name...

Don't Shhh me! i'm not even here!

I'm ssshhhing everyone!

*glares at all the noisy people*

*wanders off to find a 423 [English dictionary] in case of further mishap*

*silence, with the odd cricket in the background*

David, are you an Assassin Guild member?

Certainly not! I am a peace-loving individual and generally ineffective member of CHOPPERS.

*feeling rather , polishes glasses for a second or two*

The very idea...

Heck wit you then!

*swings his pistol around and fires at him*

*mildly annoyed that his pager service isn't working the self-elected Superhero Leader arrives fashionably late onto the scene. Struggling to get into his Spandex he trips over his cape and his kneee-high boots go flying across the thread*

Hail my valiant fellows !

*strikes standard thwarting pose (without boots)*

So we once more find ourselves in dire straits facing another fell foe ... saving that this one seems to be particularly bad at spelling and has already hex'd our mild-mannered Librarian .

We need to decide what we shall unleash on these dastardly villains. Shall it be the Silencer (A959637), the Thwarter (A957693) or shall we see the return of Fashion Victim Boy and Hangover Girl ?

*ponders*

dosent matter to me what you do
my guyes wanted a war and so i gave them my consent to start one
it might be a chance that thay chose you...

or you may have inenvertently annoyed one of them...
makes no difference to me
it seemes you have acepted our decree for war however so i guess now we must fight and you valent heros must die,

*appears in midair behind Red Dog and slits his throat*

very efficent that wonko

*shoots Red Dog as he falls, just for the heck of it*

good knife work, Wonko

*is still hovering in a ghastly, apparitional sort of way*
*goes transparent and disappears again*
*kind of like those matrix rldd twins*

*looks at hapless Assassins with a pitying smile*

I'm sorry I don't appear to have fallen ..... Oooo and guess what - my throat doesn't appear to have been cut either

That's probably due to the fact that I'm carrying Doomgiver The Sword of Justice (available like many other fine blades at A761951).

On the other hand I might just be protected by the Laws of Heroic cliches (see A771383)

You might want to put a bandage on Wonko's hand .... it appears to be missing . In fact definately put a bandage on ..... it's ruining our carpet






see how being omnipotent can be a tad irritating folks ? We're happy to RP with you but we'd prefer to do it by the Laws of Continuity. We developed these over the last few years to help us deal with unilateral actions that make people angry. You can find them at A655869 and they've served us all well in the last few conflicts. If you wanna play by them we can make this as big a hoolie as you like as long as we have some fun doing it. Deal ?

*looks at his hand and vanishes, then reappears solid and hand returned and shapeshifts back into himself*

*draws a submachinegun and a machete*

*smiles enigmatically, concentrates and brings his Fashion Victim Boy powers to the fore*

OK Wonko me Laddo, let's see how you cope with 7" stilletto high heels, red velvet hot pants and Japanese bondage gear

* Wonko's outfit is transmogrified*

*steps forward with a stylish swish*

eww.

*suddenly thousasnds of ants come from everywhere and devour the outer ugly layer of clothes, leaving a skintight black leather ultra-light titanium-alloy suit*

ahh... much better.

*looks down around him, seeing army ants carfrying away little bits of cloth*
*the shoes remain*

*picks one up*
hm...well weighted...
*bounces it in his hand, then flings it at red dog grinning like a madman*

*stops herself laughing and magickly changes wonkos clothing back*