h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I lost my pocket money in a bet, I'm so sorry.
Have all the toilet water as a present, I'm giving up that business.
*crying*

Don't cry! We don't hate you! And we'll be happy to give you 10 Triganic Pus for the water you have so far... I know a Skunk who wants to impress his mate for a date, and it's the best-smelling thing he's smelt.
You see, you'll have loyal customers - you can't let them down!

!

Still I'm out of business.
I suggest you give everyone who's buying a towel a toilet water for free. As a special offer.
I was planning to do a sewage set, with shower gel, soap and shampoo.
Do you want that for your shop, too?

where can I get some of those iron life jackets? I know a few people who need them.. hehehehehe

I would give you my monster's, but my monster doesn't like me to take away his things. He's always trying to bite me then.

I think the set idea is great. As for the Iron Lifejackets, I believe we have some in stock in our lovely gift-shop, complete with essence of Toilet Water. Isn't that so, Hannah?

If you say so...

Maybe even more complete with a camera, in case you meet the camera posing monster.

Yes, I'm sure it's true... In fact, Hannah, you could very well be a very important person in the sewer market...
The cameras are a very good idea. Have you bought a photo of that monster to give to him yet?

Ooops.

How much does one cost?

What about a "Sewage-Survival-Package"?
Iron Life West, Towel, Camera and Toilet Water?

I'd like to be a very important person
(who wouldn't?)

Are all monsters male??

No, not all monsters are male - some are female, some are neuter, some are hermaphrodites, some are asexual, some belong to a previously undiscovered third sex, and some are just so plain alien that they cannot be classified as anything.
The camera can be bought for only one Pu, and the "Survival Package" is a great idea.

What is my iron life west body warmed one?
Would you be so kind as to let me have the Camera Posing Monster's address?
What about the skunk and his mate now, how many bottles of toilet water does he want?

I believe that your body-warmed monster is male.
The address is:
2, The Sewer,
H2G2 Waterworks
H2G2

I think the skunk wants an infinite supply, but he'll start off with 12 bottles for tonight. He's going to ask her to marry him!

That's sweet.
But if he marries her, he won't have to attract any other skunks anymore. That's bad for our business. I better stop before you call me selfish again.
Thanks for the address, I feel perfectly safe now.

I'm happy you feel safe.
I'll let you know how our smelly friend gets on as soon as I hear. If he does get engaged, there'll be lots of demand for your water as he'll want to impress his fiance each day until the wedding, and then impress her everyday after they are married.

*teleports in from the space station with Big C, dries the tea and honey out of his hair with a towel he finds and begins his campaign to get more people to come visit the space station* Hi...um well sorry for my appearance, you see up in the labs on the space station there have been some funny goings-on...just trust me. I wish that you all could find time to visit it in you travelings, it actually quite entertaining. Thanks. *puts the towel back, then decides he's better off keeping it* You don't mind do you....? Thanks. *Teleports back to the space station*

I've finally saved up enough for my monster. Here you go.

*Hands over 12 pus and 8 ningis.*

Sorry about the small change, its all I had on me.

It's okay, Technicolor, I'll just keep the Ningis in my wallet in my other coat.... I find that the wallet doesn't fit in my pocket, especially when it is full of ningis - must get a bigger pocket one day.
Here you go.
*Hands over a monster*
How are the unmentionable certificates?

Right. You've caught me with disks. Look... here I am downloading the artwork from its secret place...... here I am putting it on a disk...... here I am taking the disk out... arses, its got stuck - I hate these new disk drives. Ah that's got it.

I've got a horrible feeling that this is going to be a huge anticlimax. Must make it look good. Or it'll be so good it'll spark a brand new interest in HRASC.

I take it it's the "HRASC" in wavy writing? I think it looks good.
I could write a Post Article about it if you like....?