h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ow, I don't care what universe you're from, that's /gotta/ hurt!
Diddy crashid?

Uh oh... I think I left the gas on before ve left...

Well, folks, I guess that's mission accomplished. The galaxy is safe once again. Hurray for us. [Sound of glass clinking and swallowing noises] ... Oh, is this thing still on?

*Somewhere in the smouldering wreckage the door of a survival pod pops open and a somewhat dishevelled Security Officer stumbles out.*


BluesSlider to any-one, BluesSlider to any-one. Any chance of a lift?

[uses the Force to lift BS into the air] That help?

You know when I said I'd use the same pod as in the beginning sequence of Planetfall (by Infocom, of course)? Well . . . this is kind of ironic, but we're in almost exactly the same situation. Pod landed in the middle of an ocean, and we're balancing on a very narrow rock. If we move to much, we'll probably plunge into the ocean. The only difference between this and Planetfall is that there doesn't seem to be a cliff face for us to climb up. Not for a few miles, at least. Oh, and we can also reach the towel and survival kit from where we're sitting, but other than that, it's the same. Help would be appreciated.


So, anyone for a game of Double Fannuci while we wait to be rescued?

Might as well, since I'm stuck in this same Pod. Takes a card and discards a trebled Fromp.

*The TOILET materializes on the rock.*

Well, if someone had TOLD me you actually wanted to crash, I wouldn't have bothered. Anyone need a lift?

---The 5.5th Doctor

[uses the Force to lift the escape pod and put it up against the cliff at the bottom]

That help?

Ladies and gentlemen, to use a movie catchphrase, I think our work here is done. Shall we proceed to ride off into the sunset now, and adjourn to the doughnut stall to enjoy a hearty reward?

Anyone care to say a pithy last line to round us off, and provide a link to the doughnut stall whilst you're at it...?

"Never before has so much meant to so many, be saved by so few so daft"

The Saving The Galaxy Effort.
Executive Producer: Captain Al Boy

Based upon Star Trek and other various Sci-Fi programs and films.

Copyright 2000

A h2g2 production

MM

WOT! It's over now!?

Oh s**t. Well, I guess that's that's that.

Antway, what planet are we on?

We're on Earth...believe it or not...

We finally got here.....

*reminises over the past however-many-forums-it's-taken*

Hey, are the credits over? Is this the part of the movie after the credits where the actors tell the audience to go home, or some loose end is effectively tied up?

*Thinks about this, wondering what the loose end is. Little does he know that the thing he had trapped under the cardboard box was a gelatinous blob thing, that nearly ate all of the Great Coral Reef before it was stopped in a movie our heroes play no part in*

Well, I guess that's that. Since we're (temporarily) removing this conversation, I have room for another. Maybe I'll start frequenting the Donut Stall again . . .

*tiptoes on to the set, dressed in full klingklong garb... but it;s already finished. snatches a prop from a table, to take home and convince grandchildren he was actually in the Esirpretne saga*

Oh foop.

Well, that's that, then. Shall we go to Joanna's until the next sci-fi adventure presents itself, and the Esirpretne-A can be finished?

*the crew of the Esirpretne stroll off into the sunset towards http://www.h2g2.com/F26840?thread=59861 the donut stall*

Dammit! I'm late again!

It's OK, you're just part of one of those things that goes on after the credits...

*drags Tatty off to the donut stall*