h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Reaches for the cheffinator, and dials it to melt.*

[Yar jumps into the air and casts Float on himself, beginning to hover above the ice. Siren's harp shrinks to a miniscule size, and she begins playing high-frequency sonic emissions on it at the Ghoti.]

[Corrigible takes out a Chefinator, sets it to "Medium-well", and fires at the ice.]

*Archimedes contriubtes his fire breath while KL executes one of his famous long jumps, landing in the tree in the middle of the field*

*The ice grows much hotter, but doesn't melt for some reason. The result is a great deal of hot ice*

Oh, come on. I'm telekinetic! This water won't respond to temperature changes while I'm holding the very water molecules themselves in place with my mind! That ice is staying ice.

*One of the sonic blasts penetrates the water, and hits something. A high-pitched scream is heard, and the ice shatters. The ice begins to reform*

Okay, we'll try this again from a new place...

*Struggles up the tree, ice still forming on her clothes.*

C-c-c-cold!

[Corrigible] Hmm ... hey, Ghoti, got any attacks that simply eject the target from battle? [eyes Woogy]

[Woogy] [bouncing over where he thinks Ghoti is] LOLLOLOLOLLOOOLLOOLLOLOLOOLOOLOLOOOLL!!!11!111!111

[Yar climbs on the (enormous) Siren's shoulders, away from the ice. (Being a Summon spell who is technically not part of the proceedings, in a certain sense, she doesn't seem to be affected by the ice.) She uses the same supersonic spell again.]

[Joseph, meanwhile, fires his rifle towards Ghoti again.]

*The dead tree creaks ominously as Scandrea climbs it*

KL-Careful, there! Don't break my perch!

*Swings to the other side of the tree so their weights will balance.*

*sniff* There...

*Joseph misses, and Ghoti narrowly misses the supersonic blast*

Okay, time to get serious....

*A tidal wave rises at the opposite end of the marsh, and rushes towards the heroes*

[Yar thinks fast, and pulls out a Barrier-All spell scroll (similar to Zorkish spell scrolls except that they cast Final Fantasy spells)]

[Yar] Here, someone use this, in this battle I'm only going to use one spell per post, it puts up a shield against physical attacks around all party members!

[Joseph] So you mean it'll render us invincible?

[Yar] Uh ... no. It just reduces damage by half.

[He then uses a Shell-All spell scroll, which puts a shield against /magical/ attacks around all party members.]

*Watches the tidal wave coming, and pulls her hat down over her eyes.*

*Archimedes snatches the spell scroll from Yar and casts the spell*


Man, you're lucky I decided to log on as Affy instead of Ghoti first.

^_^


[The party now has both the Shell and Barrier status effects. This should make things ... relatively more comfortable.]

[Joseph defends.]

[Woogy attempts to charge headlong at the wave and attack it by sheer force of will.]

*Woogy will probably be wet, and have a mild headache. Maybe a cold*

*The wave splashes over everyone. Kinda like in Deep Impact but on a smaller scale. Not knowing the strength of the shields from this video game, Ghoti wisely decides to let everyone (gasp) determine their own damage*

*Gets extremely wet but still manages to hang onto the branch. Decides to let KL decide if the tree holds.*

[Woogy is pulled into the water, and floats around like an oversized beach ball]

[Woogy] OMG WTF!!11!1111

[Yar falls off Siren, and the number 412 appears above his head.]

[Siren appears unharmed, and sends forth another sonic blast.]

[Joseph] EYAAAGH!!! [falls over backwards]

[Corrigible is knocked down, but quickly gets to his feet.]

[Corrigible] Oh, come /on/. [uses a Phoenix Down to revive Joseph]

[Joseph] ... ow ...

*KL survives with a standard amount of damage for that type of attack, still managing to hold onto the tree quite well. The tree, meanwhile, is showing remarkable resilience for something that probably should have collapsed on its own ages ago*

*Coughs and spits out something unidentifiable, but aquatic. Has received the standard amount of damage for that attack.*

Shouldn't we be floating now?

*Tries to scratch the bark with her fingernail.*

[Cut to a photograph of a cat. The words MISTY TIME in bizzarely flashing letters appears, and the Jeopardy "themesong" begins playing, before it abruptly cuts back to the fight scene.]

KL-Ghoti is capable of manipulating nearly every aspect of physical water, from its density to its velocity to its temperature and shape. Odds are, that wasn't a true tidal wave, that was just an incredible simulation...