h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

KL-Women. It comes from women.

*KL seems to be more on-edge than normal as he announces this. He's watching Laguna carefully. Laguna, meanwhile, has reached the locked door on the opposite side of the "Marsh"*

What's the matter with you?

*The water in the mud around Laguna rises, and forms itself into a cage around Laguna*

[Laguna] OMG WTF!! [starts whacking the cage ineffectually with his gunblade]

[Yar] Yes ... that was it. So it's ... GH as in "rough" ... O as in "women" ... and TI as in "dalmatian"?

Err... should we be concerned about this?

*Gestures at Laguna.*

[Joseph] /I'm/ not.

I /am/! We're going to have to get across this marsh somehow, and I don't particularly want to end up at the bottom of it!

KL-On the one hand, I'm concerned that this monster exists. On the other hand, I'm thinking that we let it finish off Laguna.

However, I have a bit of a confession to make. I once created a very similar-looking monster. One that could manipulate water like that. Very powerful. Very deadly. Right down to the name Ghoti. My only consolation is that there's no way my Ghoti would ever work for anyone who resembled Afgncap5 without my say so.

[Yar] What if he worked for someone resembling you? Or maybe this evil Afgncaap used a middleman of some sort ... like that Cutscene dude.

*The cage holding Laguna begins to sink below the marsh*

I can't see why the Overlord wants to conquer you people....too much bickering here.

Well, what do you expect? We're half heroes and half villains!

*Wonders how she is going to reach Laguna without being caught herself... reminds herself of the time Laguna got disemboweled with a lightsaber and got back up.*

*A large amount of water rises above the marshy ground, and sculpts itself into what appears to be a humanoid form as Laguna's at the point where a good amount of effort will be required to keep breathing. Where Ghoti's voice came from no where in particular before, it's coming from this watery image now*

Well, perhaps the villains have tainted the minds of the heroes. Surely, a hero would want what is best for the Galaxy, yes? And yet you stand opposed to this realm's greatest opportunity for peace and unity in centuries! Really now, does that make much sense?

Don't look at me... I was just trying to turn off the improbability generator!

[Corrigible] And I, oddly enough, was helping.

[Joseph] And I just wanted to escape from that goddamn Arfenhouse world.

[Yar] And I, yes, wanted to help save the universe at large.

[Woogy] I JSUT NDEEDDE A CMAEO H33R!!!1!!!111!!1111!!1

So, except for Yar, KL, possibly Burford, and obviously you, none of us have any real idea what's going on!

KL-I wouldn't say that I do....this water is far too muddy. I could never get my Ghoti to stand muddy water. My Ghoti hated dirt, grime, and trash above nearly everything else.

*Incidentally, Archimedes seems to be a bit edgy in this environment of water*

*Looks at the water, trying to see if she can see anything beneath the surface.*

[Yar casts "Scan" (FF8-style) to see if he can locate the Ghoti.]

*Notices the spell. Smirks*

That won't help you, sir. There's a lot of stuff in this water, and it's all, on some level, me. Alrighty, then. I'm giving you until the count of three to depart through the door that you just entered through. Once that happens, I go into full boss mode and no one leaves here alive. One...Two...

*Runs headlong into the force field.*

Err... we can't get through there! Why not just let us go through the other side- you won't have to spend all this needless energy fighting us?