h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[Y2K, over radio] Ow, I don't care what universe you're from, that's GOTTA hurt!

[Y2K looks confused for a moment]

[Y2K] I've just got a funny feeling someone else's saying that.

[Y3K, over radio] Hello? When're you going to blast the X-wing?

Lenore, is the secret weapon for my POE ready?


Yes, Commander, it is onboard your craft. Good luck, honey


Mental note: Adjust Lenore's attitude program. She's too flirty.

~Readies controls and flies out into space, towards the Mangar itself~

/Red

*Pie*

[Y2K] Ooh! I got an idea!

[Y2K presses some buttons on the control panel of his Vader suit, making his helmet -- and everything else in his costume -- airtight. He can now breathe in space. The Sith Infiltrator cloaks.]

[Y2K] Sorry, Sea, but your training can wait for a bit...

[The Sith Infiltrator, cloaked, flies over to the side of the Mangar, where YK, Chrome, the good Affy, and half a dozen red-shirted extras are preparing to fight, or in YK's case fighting, Montressor, who easily kills some of the red-shirted extras and doesn't even hit the major characters]

[Y2K] Heh heh heh heh heh...

[Darth Corrigible dons an SEP field, jumps out of the Sith Infiltrator, and lands behind YK, who is saying "Oh dear" to the fact that a metal box has attatched itself to Montressor's head. He turns the SEP field off.]

[Y2K] Yo.

[Music: "Duel of the Fates" from SW:TPM]

[YK] Er, let me handle this...

[The good guys get out of the way]

[Y2K draws his lightsaber and arms one red blade ... and then another! YK flips the switches on his own lightsaber to the "Off" position, and presses the two buttons ... and TWO blue blades appear! YK flips the switches to the "On" position. Y2K and YK move closer to each other]

*A mysterious absence of pies*

[YK and Y2K are dueling pretty hard! Er, since I don't really know anything about swordfighting, and I know even less about DOUBLE-BLADED swordfighting, I'll have to improvise...someday...]

[WHUM WHUM KRASH WHUM WHUM KRASH despite the fact that there's a vacuum]

[YK and Y2K whirl around each other in a furious blur of laser light. They thrust and parry each other's weapons, too fast for the
eye to see. YK spins to one side to avoid Y2K's karate kick, and narrowly avoids being decpaitated. He ducks, rolls, swings over and slashes at Y2K's legs. Y2K leaps and does a backflip over YK's position. The camera freezes and spins arouns the scene, before speeding up again. Y2K lands, and the fight continues once more]

*While the fighting has been going on, GL has been slowly, nonchalantly edging the Mangar closer to the Zork planet, while keeping it pointed at the Raven. With the change in position going unnoticed during the excitement of battle, the Mangar slipped between two villian ships and is now inside the blackade, with its back to the planet and its nose to the Raven.*

*Flavor of the post-banana cream!*

[There is a slight pause in the battle. Each warrior clearly feels respect for the other. That and the fact that if he didn't have the Force he'd have been hacked to bits long ago. Well, anyway, they match each other blow for blow, swing for swing, hack for hack -- -- Suddenly, Darth Corrigible makes a savage swing. Closeup on YK's face through his spacesuit helmet; a look of stunned pain crosses his face. Cut to a ref]

[Ref] No fair kicking in the groin!

[Y2K] Sorry!

[They continue with the battle]

[Cut to YK and Y2K in the Ending Shop from Monty Python]

[Man Behind Counter] So, you're having a lightsaber duel and you want to know how to end it?

[YK] Yeah.

[Man] How about YK getting killed?

[Cut to the battle: Y2K runs YK through. Cut back to the store]

[YK] No way. I'm a major character.

[Man] How about Y2K getting killed?

[Battle: YK cuts Y2K's head off. Cut back]

[YK] HE'S a major character, too.

[Man] Well then, how about one of you gets his hand cut off?

[Y2K] That would be tantamount to getting killed, as we're wearing spacesuits.

[Man] All right. How about YK gets the upper hand and Y2K escapes on the Sith Infiltrator?

[Battle: YK manages to get a swing in. Y2K just barely ducks and the Sith Infiltrator de-cloaks. YK manages one more swing at Y2K's legs as the latter leaps, puncturing the suit.]

[Computer voice] Decompression in 47 seconds...

[The door on the Sith Infiltrator opens, Y2K gets in, the door closes, and the Sith Infiltrator flies off. Abruptly cut back to the shop.]

[YK] We'll take it.

[Man] All right. That'll be five pounds, please.

[Y2K gives him the money. Battle: YK manages to get a swing in. Y2K just barely ducks and the Sith Infiltrator de-cloaks. YK manages one more swing at Y2K's legs as the latter leaps, puncturing the suit.]

[Computer voice] Decompression in 47 seconds...

[The door on the Sith Infiltrator opens, Y2K gets in, the door closes, and the Sith Infiltrator flies off]

*Flavor of the post-Cherry!*

[Y3K] Where's all the other bad guys? Did we go to a new forum without my knowledge?

*No, I don't think so. It may be time to start a new thread, though*

[Y2K] D'oh.

[YC] Our top priority now is getting everyone else here back.

[Y2K] No, our top priority now is getting the Mangar and all those ships blown up!

[YC] How are we going to do it with just four ships?

[Y2K] We've got to --

[They continue bickering like this]

*You shouldn't blow them up, anyway. CLI has already landed on Zork, so you need to wait until they've left to return to h2g2*