h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[Interior: YK's X-wing: Cockpit]

Artoo, give me a reading.

[R2-B4 warbles]

No, I don't care about all that, I just want a reading on our fuel supply.

[R2-B4 gives a pessimistic-sounding twitter]

That bad, eh? Do you think we have enough fuel to get through half this planet's tunnel system?

[R2-B4 whistles reflectively]

Well, that's good news anyway.

Shouldn't the order be left, right, straight, right, left, right, straight, right, left, left, right straight? Five Zorkmids to the person who can tell me where that comes from.


*Examines some readings*

GL, look at this. According to these readings... we've just stumbled upon the biggest supply of undisturbed fuel in this quadrant of the galaxy! I mean, just look at this! Dilithium, coal, oil, light-crystals... this is a find! With this stuff, we could just shut off our ramscoop and solar cells, take just about a billionth of this stuff, and get to Zork no problem!

This is almost too easy...

Chrome101 calling Mangar. I have made contact with a Jedi Knight, YK. He is also hiding here from the Rodentars.

I couldn't help overhearing that last posting, Affy ... maybe this is a privately owned mine?

*Moose's voice crackles in over static*


Thank goodness for nano-assemblers! The gaps in the hull have been sealed up, pressure can be returned to all depressurized areas of the ship at your convenience. Repairs are 84% complete, the internal structures are still being rebuilt, but the rest of the repairs can be finished in flight if you needed to go anywhere. I wouldn't try any interstellar flight until the repairs are done though, Could tear the ship apart from the inside. Moose out.

[Exterior: Space: tunnel]

[The X-wing and the chromemobile are flying together]

[Interior: YK's X-wing: cockpit]

[R2-B4 gives several comments]

I agree; but the raw materials are there.

[R2-B4 responds]

No, I think it'll be fine.

*On one of the Mangar's many console's, Irving's communication device, the one hidden under the skin of his neck which has remained undetected by the crew, crackles to life. The signal is faint, and it's impossible to trace the location from inside this rock, but the voice on the otherside is Irving's, mumbling*

...picked cuffs on ha...eet still bound. Montre....sleeping.... transporter codes...torture...didn't crack...

*Though the message is unclear, one important point is made: IRVING LIVES*

*Runs over to the comm center*

Irving! Man, it's good to know your alive. OF course, this means we can't blast the Raven... anyway, Irving, did you say Montressor was sleeping? I'm going to assume that's good.



Irving, if you possibly can, try to inform us of where the Raven is currently waiting for us. That may be the boost we need to get out of this system.

Chrome, I sense a disturbance in the Force.

Yeah, that was me. I'm kinda regretting all those slices of pizza

*Assorted goran from all people with a decent sense of humour.*

*goran and groan, too*

*Looks at the screen where Affy has found the fuel reserves.*

Yes, I see. I hadn't noticed that before, but you're perfectly right. All we need to do is bore through the west wall of this cavern to get to it. It almost looks like someone put it there and sealed it in. I hope they don't come back for it soon. And I hope they didn't protect it somehow ...

Good job on the repairs, Moose. The rest of the fleet should be spaceworthy by now too. Now we can start the refueling. I'll take the Mangar over near the west wall and we can use the borer attachment on the port manipulator arm to drill through the phosphorescent crystals.


Mangar to Chromemobile. We have found large fuel deposit nearby and will soon be refuelling. If jedi knight is friendly, try to enlist his help. Continue mapping mission. Over.

*giggles at the alliteration in the new thread subject*

YK, would you be a good chap and pop along to help the mangar drill for that fuel. I'm sure there's more than enough for us ~and~ you.
I must continue mapping these tunnels.

*The Chromemobile speeds off into the endless and twisty pathways. Up and over. Out and under. In and outer. Round and rounder. Suddenly Chrome stops dead. In fornt of him is the single most exciting thing he's seen since last tunnel, when he found what looked like Elvis on a wall.*

Wow...

*waits excitedly for any reports of amazing discoveries by Chrome*

*Thinking*

GL, you say the computer says that the fuel is sealed behind a wall? As if someone put it there?

*Thinks some more*

Okay, people seal stuff behind a wall for two reasons: to keep others from finding it before they get back, or to keep something terrible in. So let's be careful: we don't want to unleash some terror on the galaxy. That might not look to good on criminal records.

[Exterior: Space: Cavern]

[The X-wing flies up to the Mangar]

[Interior: YK's X-wing: Cockpit]

[into radio] Magnar, this is YK, the Jedi your ally Chrome mentioned. Request permission to board.

[R2-B4 blathers and YK cuts the transmitter]

I speck.

[R2-B4 raspberrys him]

Neither does it make me stupid.

Message received. Permission to come aboard. Please enter the hangar slowly, until the tractor beams kick in.

[Exterior: Space: Cavern]

[The X-wing flies slowly toward the Mangar. Then, the shuttle bay doors open and the tractor beam activates. R2-B4 whistles. The X-wing is pulled in.]

[Interior: Mangar: Shuttle Bay]

[The X-wing flies into the shuttle bay and lands. YK pops the hatch, and gets out holding a datapad. R2-B4 warbles, and YK consults the datapad]

Yes, it is, isn't it?

[R2-B4 gets up and out of his socket and YK uses the Force to put him, protesting, onto the deck. R2-B4 looks like R2-D2, only green instead of blue]

Well, here we are.

*Moose who is overseeing repairs in the hangar at the moment walks over*

Hello! Welcome aboard the Mangar. Should you require any sort of repairs or outfitting, you can ask either me or AXR. If you follow those doors out into the hallway you'll see a lift that you can take to the bridge. Once there you'll meet Garius Lupus and Afgncaap5. Either of them will be able to give you anymore information.

*Returns to the nano-assembler array*

Okay.

[YK and R2-B4 exit]

[Interior: Mangar: Bridge]

[YK and R2-B4 enter from the turbolift]

[R2-B4 whistles]

[YK consults the datapad] Yes, impressive, isn't it? [to bridge] Hi, I'm YK, the Jedi Chrome mentioned...

*The Chromemobile returns to the cavern and downloads the tunnel mapping data into the Mangar's systems. It is running on autopilot. Chrome101 is ... nowhere to be found.
Instead a Post-it note is stuck on the outside of the cockpit. A low-level scan reveals it to be saying "Don't come and look for me. I have discovered something amazing, that may alter this mission entirely. I will transmit my findings ASAP."
Back on board the Mangar, everyone prays for Chrome's safety.*