h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I have a bad feeling about this...

Do you feel any distubance in the force, YK? I mean aside from that other disturbance Chrome produced. Is Chrome in danger?

*Turns to his monitor and pushes a few keys on his keyboard. Lets out a low whistle.*

Wow. Chrome did an extraordinary job of mapping this moon. The place is riddled with tunnels. All except for this corner over here. And yes, you can see the area where the fuel dump must be. I take your point, Affy, about the possibility of letting something loose, but our scanners show only the things you listed. Doesn't mean it's not booby-trapped, though.

*Looks at another screen.*

Looks like we're very close to breaking through. The scanners show a small void where the drill will come through. Perhaps we should switch to a tiny drill and send in a microdroid to investigate.

*keys in the sequence for switching drills.*

Too bad we never had the right Ampton on this mission. This is the kind of job I'd send him in to do. I just hope we won't anger some energy beast by robbing its pantry. Um, just a thought: anyone else ever hear of the Crystaline Entity? This place looks . . . distrubingly like it did.

I think we are approaching ouch time.

But I do sense something ... it's like ...

[concentrates. R2-B4 makes distracting noises] ... I can't sense /anything/ in that area. I can't even sense /nothing/.

[R2-B4 asks a question, and YK consults the datapad]

Yes, it is like a bunch of ysalmiri there, only not quite.

*Moose steps off the lift onto the bridge*

Crytalline Entity? You're not suggesting... we've run into this being are you? The same crystalline entity that has destroyed countless worlds? If that is indeed what you are saying then I'd suggest modifying a graviton pulse to carry a resonance wave immediately just in case.

~Irving's comm unit, after much silence, static, etc, springs back to life~

Out of bonds...oving to activa..rasporter....nformatio...hen I arri... FUZZZZZZZZZZZ

~Irving

No, I've seen and sensed it before. I've seen and sensed it /destroyed/ before.

But the point is, I sensed it...

[R2-B4 bleeps over the ensuing jarring chord, destroying the tense moment]

Irving! I didn't know we could hear him now! I keep missing all this stuff when I'm not on the bridge... I'm gonna see what I can do about getting him back.

*hurries to the transporter bay*
I can't beam him back, I can't get through the shields first of all and second all this rock is in the way. From his transmission it sounds like he's trying to activate the Ravens transporter and get himself back here, If he can manage to start the transporter I can start our own transporter to increase the power and get him through the moons surface. At any rate I'm boosting the power to Irving's transmissions to see what we can do about clearing up his signal, He should be much clearer next time. I'm gonna see what I can do about trying to communicate with him.

What the devil... I'm tracking another signal, I can't...quite... make it... Wait! It just got stronger, It's Chrome, I don't know how but he found a way onto the Raven! Maybe if we can figure out how he got there we can use that to get them back. Someone start going through Chrome's ship log and see if you can find out what happened. Meantime I'll try to contact his communicator he should have it but it could be difficult to reach. I'll see what I can do...

Captain on second analysis, there are two more signals, The first is extremely faint and I would guess it is a villain, initial comparisons seem to indicate that it is indeed Commander Red. But the second signal just switched on very suddenly, leading me to conclude that ***Montressor*** has been activated. Chrome's and Irving's situtaion seems to have become exponentially worse...

Uh-oh.

Look, I have a bad feeling we oughtn't try to get the energy resources there.

Let's see ... [concentrates] I can sense something strange ... Irving among those other life forms ... wait ...

I may be wrong, but I think I can sense a clone of Irving.

(how bad are Chrome and Irving's situations? This bad

~When Chrome101 activates the Raven's transporter, he, along with Irving and Red, grappling with eachother in a wrestiling hold, are transported to a holding cell in the mangar. Simultaneously, Lenore automatically attempts to bring Red back to the Raven, while Monterssor is physically telling the transporter to put Irving back in his cell. The result is that Red and Irving, too close together, are being pulled by three transporter signals at once, and Chrome101 is locked in a prison cell on board his own ship, the Mangar. Irving and Red blink in and out of existence onboard the Raven and the Mangar, appearing in random locations throughout each ship. It doesn't look real. It reminds everyone eerily of the scene from Sir Aurthur Conan Doyle's "The Final Problem" in which Sherlock Holmes and Professor Moriarty wrestle with eachother as the fall from the top of a high cliff into the jagged rocks of the ravine below.~

*Looks up from his monitor*

The transporter on the Raven just energised. Two forms have been transported in opposite directions. I have the vectors here, but have no idea of the distance. One of the vectors intersects the DisneyPlanet. The other heads off into space. One of them is probably Irv. We've got to investigate and save him if we can. We can come back for the fuel. If Chrome can get away from Montressor, he can find his way back to the Chromemobile, and then to us.

Prepare to get under way. We're going down to the DisneyPlanet, homeworld of the Rodentars.

*materialises inside a holding cell in the mangar*
Oh God, no! I've got to warn them...
*takes out the Fork of Destiny. With two quick slashes he is out of his cell, and runs onto the bridge.*

OK, everybody! Red and Irving are trapped in some sort of three-way transporter beam, and the Raven has already opened the cave!
*Assorted members of the crew start to ask how he got iside the Raven, but they are silenced when a low, ~crystalline~ groan echoes throughout the ship...*

Y'see, I found a fuel supply line from the fuel cave, and discovered it lead to the Raven. I got in through a service hatch, and started scrapping with Montressor, when Red and Irv kinda ... messed up the transporter system.
I've ~no idea whatsover~ who set off the transporter, but now I suspect everyone's in deep ****!

*Plays back the transporter signals on his monitor*

Oh, that's funny - didn't notice that before. Before the signals split, there was some odd interference of transporter beams. Some were directed at a holding cell here, while others seemed to be opposing each other. They finally split as I first mentioned.

Anyway, we need to go save Irv, or whoever it is on the DisneyPlanet.

But since the fuel dump is open, we might as well refuel first. Welcome back Chrome. Perhaps YK can help you recover the Chromemobile.

*Starts refuelling sequence.*

The DisneyPlanet mission should probably take no more than a week and a half, I estimate.

No!
*slaps GL's hand away from the console. the crystalline groan grows louder*

What is it? And what's that noise?

~Echos of the physical forms of Irving and Red appear on the bridge of the Mangar. First they look frantic, then they look scared, and then, just before they fade out into non-existance, they both just look.... resigned. Irving mouthes something that looks like "Mommy"~

Now THAT'S even wierder than clones!

Er, hang on ... [concentrates and a moment later the Chromemobile, empty, flies into the shuttlebay next to the X-wing]

There. That's done.

[R2-B4 demonstrates the variety of sounds he can make and YK again consults the datapad]

Now that you mention it ... [to crew] Could you do a tachyon scan while launching a subspace pulse at it?

I meant at the void in the map.