h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*segues into "Goodnight Irene".*

*The scene changes*

*UH, seeing the Jedis running off into the distance, decides to run the other way. He runs down a long corridor and enters the room at the end. THere is a duct in the wall, so he removes the grate, and climbs inside, hoping to find the exit. Soon, he is outside, wondering where the others are. He climbs over a dune and sees, stretched out before him, a very large excavation, obviously part of the Area 51 complex. He wishes the others were here, and then remembers his comlink radio*

*GL, hopelessly lost in the duct system, continues to crawl along, muttering something about "ungrateful wretches". Up ahead, he sees UH crawl past in a cross-duct. He speeds up and rounds the corner where UH disappeared. Ahead he can see daylight and he breathes a sigh of relief. Moments later he is standing beside UH.*

[Fourth Guard] Sir! They've gone up the ventilation shaft!

[Washington] We'll get them yet!

[RIIIIING]

[Washington] ... right after lunch.

[YK and clonepany come out of the air duct behind UH and GL]

[Back at Affi's dig site]
&Affy's comlink crackles into life*
Crrrkk...Crk...Hello...Crrk..Aff...Ight...lik..o..ome..her...foun...so..th..g...ou...mig...ind..terest...Crrrkk
*The comlink falls silent*
[With GL, UH and the Jedis]
UH: I repeat, we have something - Blast! We've been cut off!They were jamming us. I don't think the message got through.
*He looks at the dig site. There is a lot of work going on, and the place is swarming with guards*

Oh bloody Zarquon.

*Hears some crackling from his communications chip in his watch. Looks at it, and sets it to the highest frequency, and sets it to "force translate". Unfortuantely, this mix of terrible static causes the message to, while being intelligable, is nothing like what UH sent*

Hey, just got word from UH and the rest. They say that the guards gave up, and they're passively discussing their differences over lunch. Isn't that nice?

*Sorry, couldn't resist*

Wow! What an operation!

You know, this means that they don't know about the site that we are excavating. Which means that our site hasn't been picked over and we stand a good chance of recovering something useful. I wonder if our site is completely independant of this site - separate crashes - or if both sites were part of the same crash - you know, like if a ship broke up before impact and crashed in 2 places. Or, maybe the ship that crashed here jetisoned some sensitive material or something just before it crashed and that is what we have found. That would be cool!

[YK uses the Force to increase his speed to supersonic and rushes over to Affy]

[YK] Affy! The guards are headed this way! They've got comm-jamming and translation muddling and who-knows-what-zarking-else!!

[Very well...diverted, GL. ]

Well. This will be something to bear in mind. Let's get back to the base camp

*Meanwhile, back at the camp, Affy is trying to explain things to YK*

Okay, it's okay, the guards won't find us. Even if they are tracking us, the guards won't be able to work their way through a very specialized SEP field that I've installed. It'll allow only specified people to get in or out. The only way they could get in here is if they were here before we were. Anyway, let's get to work while we wait for the others to get here. The sooner we get all of this stuff out of the way, the better.

*Affy picks up a shovel and resumes digging*

*Arrives back at the dig site and tells the others about his theories about this being a previously undiscovered site. Continues digging and uncovers the a blackened funnel-shaped item, still attached to something still burried.*

Hey, this looks like some kind of thruster nozzle.

*oblivious to either peril or responsibility, Lil has followed the horsemen, who are walking their horses slowly as they talk together in low voices*

* as they ascend slightly, Lil can see much of what is going on -- a melee of guards - but the desert heat sends up shimmers and mirages and makes it difficult to read the situation*

*the riders come to a group of trees and dismount, and Lil follows them gratefully into the shade*

[YK] Oh, that's a relief. [takes a shovel and starts digging]

Comences digging

*The concerted digging slowly reveals the end of a cylindrical structure about 8 feet in diameter, looking very much like a beer can on steroids. The end is covered in thruster nozzles and about 2 feet of the cylinder has been unearthed. So far, the sides of the cylinder are completely smooth with no sign of an opening to the interior. The cylinder is made from some unknown metal that is very hard and shows no evidence of the numerous impacts from the shovels. When GL puts his hand on the cylinder, it is warm to the touch and he feels a slight vibration.*

Well, I guess we just keep digging until we find a door or something.

*Continues to clear sand by the shovelful from the side of the of the structure.*


Did we bring a bobcat along? It would make it a whole lot easier to expose this thing. It could be a rather long tube, considering the diameter is 8 feet.

[YK] [German accent] Oh ja.

*the three riders approach at an easy lope. Billy has given Miss Lil a ride behind him*

*dismounts and helps Miss Lil down*

*remounts and lifts his hat to those assembled*

Ifn you all need me, the lady knows what to do. We've rested our horses and now we aim to satisfy our curiosity about some things we seen over yonder.

*the group turns and lopes away*