Welcome to Crater Labs, Inc., where our motto for this update is:
Good Updates Should Have At Least Three Months Between Them!
You stand inside the ridiculously large Crater, located not too far from the H2G2 Waterworks And Beach. All throughout the Crater are several buildings, and several pieces of equipment, some of which are working at transportation, or extending the Crater's size. In the exact center of this Crater is a large pile of junk, located not far from a very impresive two-story marble building. The whole place fills you with an air of almost childish wonder, mixed in with a touch of slightly more mature interest. You find yourself heading towards the main building, not knowing what you'll find there.
If you want it, odds are we have it
Hello, I'm Afgncaap5, founder and co-Head of CLI1 CLI is also managed by one Garius Lupus, whose science skills and imagination work wonders in our workrooms.2 We at CLI are giving h2g2 this kind of access to our facilities, because many of the concepts behind the real CLI have come directly from several seemingly random experiences on the Guide3, and so the Guide is one of the perfect places for the intended customers of CLI: FANS OF SCIENCE FICTION! At CLI, we have everything from bad spoofs of classic B-Rated movies, to a duplicate of Dr. Frankenstein's dungeons, to the latest equipment in the newest Sci-Fi thrillers, to the remains of the crashed Satelite Of Love, to frequent independant adventures that you should feel free to join (providing that you follow the rules of continuity4!
Say, I Bet You Want A Tour, Don'tcha?
Okay, I can give you a brief tour. First and formost, is our primary building. You're in it right now. This is where you can buy, trade, and sell goods. We're always in the market for some cutting edge adventure gear, and we're always willing to provide extra parts for an interocitor (don't believe those Metalunans when they say that the parts are irreplacable. They're just cheap). Oh, and this is where we also have many of our offices, our warehouse, and the primary labs. Oh, and just so you know, we rent out the upstairs apartment to Asteroid Lil, who uses our apartment as a studio, conversation pit, party area, and all around Atelier. I'm sure she wouldn't mind a few extra visitors from time to time, but be warned: the conversations flow faster than the molasses speeds that our adventures seem to take in comparison.
Also in the main building we have our own set of dungeons and towers5, along with the refridgerator that houses The Celery and Dolores A. WebJello, who were very strong candidates for President and Vice-President many months ago.
Moving right along, if you look outside, you'll see several other buildings, monuments, and whatnot, such as the ever expanding Tunnels, the Junk Pile6, the remains of the Satelite Of Love7, the Crater Toys Building, the Holistic Detective Agency, and if you strain your eyes really hard, you might be able to make out Mt. Sandcastle in the distance. From that mountain is where CLI's now infamous Snow Cannon resides.
While you're here,....
SCI-FI ENTRY FOR THE UPDATE
Check out my entry on Temporal Paradoxes. It's not nearly complete, but it's definitely good enough for starters, should you ever get trapped in the past, it's worth knowing.