S.T.U.M.P.E.D.
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
Welcome to the Sinister Thinkers Unleashing Multifarious Pernicious Evil Deeds1 H2G2 has many things-bars, cafes, mild crime enforcement, laboratories2, a beach, mountains, a donut stall, a newspaper, space stations, the list goes on. The thing is, H2G2 doesn't have the one thing every city needs to survive: CRIME! Sure, a few months ago there was a slight crime syndicate, but it hasn't done anything for months. Now, it is time for the villains of H2G2 to, if not send out plan after plan that will destroy H2G2, but to at least unite and say to H2G2, "We're ready to be evil!"
Villains for hire!
Yes, you heard correctly. As a public service to h2g2, STUMPED has a message board which would allow you to browse through all of the current villainous want-ads, select which villain(s) you wish to use, and give them the notorious task you wish us to commit! We'll plot, we'll steal, we'll even go as far as causing traffic jams by flooding the streets with thousands of empty cars! Yes, we'd even go as far as to send an endless supply of mimes to the dwelling place of your enemy if you wish3. Anyway, for all of your evil needs, come here.
Should You Join?
Yes. You should. If still not convinced, just ask youself these questions-"Does my H2G2 nickname at all imply evil or craziness? Have I ever plotted something? Do you ever think of the perfect ploy to subdue those superheroes on TV or comic books? Do you find yourself watching cartoons just to take notes on the villains? Do you think you'd have fun being evil?" If you answered yes, no, or even maybe to any of these, you should seriously consider joining!
The Original Members
These are the original members of STUMPED. To enter the organization, they had to go through a rigorously evil, twisted Twister game, that kept getting more complex as people played. Had it not stopped when it did, these five may have ended up like pretzels.
Afgncaap5, the founder of S.T.U.M.P.E.D., founder of a detective agency, and co-founder of Crater Labs, Inc. Mood can vary from being totally humble to oddly . . . odd, to notoriously wicked. Known villainous names and titles: Leader of the Krylma, Affy the Arch-Super Villain, Singer Of Annoying Songs On Long Road Trips4, and The One Too Lazy To Update Web Pages Frequently.
The Masque of the Red Rejection eMail is probably the most villainous villain at stumped5, "Red" as we call him, has the whole thing going. And by that, I mean a theme based wardrobe. A red and black suit (complete with mask), a red and black spaceship (The Raven), complete with its own AI computer (The Lanore).
Garius Lupus is one of the technical wizards who spends free time spying on the good guys. Is a noted lycanthrope of the wolf variety.
Darth Noire, Alien's no good clone, is one of the most sinister villains this side of the Horsehead Nebula. You don't want her to be your interrogater, ever. It's one of the things she does best (worst?)
One Cynical Sarcastic Procrastinating Lazy NYC Student is . . . well, not much left to say, really. Not a bad person once you've had time in aquantance.
New Recruits
These are the members that joined after the Twister game was played. These recruits had to go through a diabolical initiation process: staying in a sound proofed, pitch black room for three days with no food, and little water. The only sound that entered from the outside was either taunts from Afgncaap5, or the song "Albuquerque", by "Weird Al" Yankovic6. Anyway, these are the members.
brian_damage is a definite plus for the dark side. Think along the lines of "Dark Side" from some of the Superman stories. This guy's already conquered several planets, has a gigantic army at his disposal, and uses a giant afro which, at its prime, could consume entire African nations7.
soeasilyamused, or Sea as we call her, is a dashing villainess who specializes in freezing heroes with fish!8 While sometimes clumsy (as she admits), she always gets the job done.
iceraven is a poe-esque, half vampire that you wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley! Don't get on the wrong side of this one.
Grey Spectre is a definite asset to the team. I will not reveal the Grey One's real name or identity, because it may cause certain problems while battling against good. I will tell you, however, that Grey Spectre has an invisibility cloak that can make it's wearer nearly impossible to detect.
Darth Corrigible is one of our local Sith. He is the clone of YK9, and fell from the light side to the Dark Side. And, while the good guys always win the the Star Wars movies, don't the villains have much more impressive special effects?
evillene-three words, "Evil Invisible Woman". No one has ever seen her, and she admits that she shouldn't be trusted as far as you can throw her. But what league of villains would be complete without someone who willingly admits to being a turncoat at times?
1. Granted, the name might need work, but that isn't the important thing.2Speaking of which, this facility was granted to us by Crater Labs, Inc. They can provide a near endless amount of evil toys to play with!3Not that there's anything wrong with mimes. But consider the psycological effect of opening you front door and seeing a few thousand mimes on your porch, all being stuck in glass boxes, walking against the wind, etc.4"A long, long, time ago, in a galaxy far away, Naboo was under an attack. And I though me and Qui-Gon Jin could talk the Federation in to cutting them a little slack/But there response it didn't thrill us;They locked the doors and tried to kill us . . ."5Although when the Krylma leader is around (not Afgncaap5, I mean the actual lizard-faced Krylma leader from the Bond forums), Mr. Krylma is scary enough to win the most villainous villain award6It was mostly the song. Affy only interupted once in a while.7I don't know why it ate them, I don't know how, I don't *want* to know how, I just nod my head and believe.8Don't ask, it's just how the heroes and villains have been battling lately.9He's called himself Y2K at times.
