h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Affy puts the finishing touches on the CLI Trophy Room. By incorporating some IC technology to the normal Rec Room, he has set up an archway leading to this very nicely furnished Trophy Room.

Bookshelves line the walls, and a large fireplace dominates the wall opposite the entrance from the Rec Room. Several large, incredibly comfortable chairs sit around the room at various spots, enough for any noticeably large crowd of people. Many of them are arranged in front of the fireplace, while others are around tables (upon which very expensive looking sets of games sit), and others are just off by themselves. One section of wall without a bookshelf has a trophy case containing a few treasures from Zork, but what adventurer doesn't have that?

Affy watches as the workbots finish the "hunting lodge" style of the room, and then they depart.

Affy looks at the fireplace, and the mantel over it. The empty mantel*

Just one thing remains before I can really call this a trophy room....Time to advertise for a posse to...

*Affy spins a giant globe and dramatically points his finger at it to stop it from spinning*

HERE!

Er...

*Affy moves his finger slightly*

There. I've wanted something from that region for a while now.

*Affy puts up a sign*


JOIN A POSSE!

Eager to search for Adventure? Interested in the possibility of treasure? Willing to risk life and limb just for a story that you can tell later? Then come join Affy's Posse!

Affy Person, intrepid explorer and ace adventurer, is searching for a small group of people for a mission of intrepid exploration, invading the land of other entities and probably causing massive damage to a local ecosystem, all in the name of good fun.

Applicants are expected to follow The Adventurer's Creed, and The Laws of Continuity. Info on what those are available at the sign-up spot.

Apply here.

Well, shiver me timbers, this sounds like just the thing fer me! Ye can count me in, ye scaliwag!

*While he waits, Buccaneer looks around the room. He sneers at the label from the raft in zork.*

Arrr, ye call that a boat, with no wood?

*Almost spits, but catches himself just in time. Notices the bare spot on the mantle.*

Arrr, I could make something for thar, while I'm becalmed here.

*Looks around for something to whittle. Finding nothing in the trophy case, or just lying around, Buccaneer breaks a back leg off of one of the comfy chairs. He takes out his knife, sits in a different comfy chair and starts to whittle.*

Hello there,...Buccaneer, is it? Nice to meet you.

As I've explained in the advertisement, which I'm hoping to run in the Post soon, this is an adventure which will be relying on the adventurer's creed, and the laws of continuity. Do you need either of those explained?

Oh, and while the law of continuity will be in effect, this adventure will also be continuity-light. Just a short little scuffle with fate to make life more interesting.

* There is a knock at the door *

Alllloooooooo...? Have I come to the right place?

Peet! Long time, no meet. I trust that you have, in fact, come to the right place.

Unless you're here for the Shyamalanathon. That's in the Rec Room. They start with "The Sixth Sense" in half an hour, followed immediately by "Unbreakable," then "Signs", then "The Village."

Well ahoy, mateys! I was begining to fear that I'd be on me own here. Not much adventure involved in that, I'll tell ye! Harrr Harrr Harrrr!

*blows on the object in his hand, sending a cloud of sawdust across the room. At this point, the object is unidentifiable, but it definately isn't a duck.*

Continuity? Aye, I've read some articles on that, so I know them waters.

Always great to hear. However, in the event that the Post ever gets around to posting the message I asked them to, it's possible that we'll have some newer recruits this time around, so it's a "continuity-lite" adventure this time around. Things have to make sense, but anyone who steps up to the plate can be a game master.

Oh, and the Adventurer's Creed. It's never been written down word for word, so much as it's been poetically approximated. Not as well known on h2g2, but I should probably repeat it now as I first heard it in an early conversation...ahem:

"Do I really have to kill the troll?"

"...You're an adventurer. You rob tombs. You destroy ancient ruins in your quest to get treasure. You murder creatures without warning when you can. You divert lava flows into the lower deep never worrying about who suffers as a result. You pull levers on the wall _Because_They_Are_There_ even if it means that it has ramifications elsewhere. Every step you take affects the stability of the underdark. This is hardly the time for you to get moral qualms."

In short, we may be forever altering the existence of a society that's been around for centuries. No prime directive to worry about.

Arrrr, I understand all about plunderin', me bucko. And the rest of that creed sound mighty alike to the ship's articles on me last, er, cruise. I kin see we're goin to get along just fine.

*slaps Afgncaap5 on the back*

* Muffled *

So is somebody going to open this door then, or what?

Harrrr! What's that noise I be hearin? It's coming from the hatch over thar!

*Buccaneer opens the door.*

Ahoy thar! How did ye get out thar? I thought ye were already in here.

*Buccaneer reads the backlog*

Ah, now I sees it, matey. Me humblest apologies to ye! Good to meet ye!

*Shakes Peet's hand vigorously*

Hi there!

* Peet enters the room, resplendant in his scarlet long-johns, Doc Martens and faux fur bullet-proof vest *

Sorry I didn't have time to change.

Oh, no problem. It wouldn't be an adventurer if we were *totally* prepared.

*Wanders over to the large globe and idly spins it*

So, tell me. Are either of you familiar with a folk-creature known as The Grey Man?

Arrr, me Google turned up a Grey Man in Scotland - a kind of bigfoot or yeti. T'aint nothin compared with a Kraken, I'll tell ye.

Ye know, that makes at least 2 legendary creatures for Scotland. Next ye'll be hearin' tales of the Grey Man being sighted riding through the waves on Nessie. Harr harrr harrrr!

I heard tales of a Grey Man who once was Prime Minister of the UK, just after the great Kraken was ousted. They say he used to have sex with curry.

The Grey Man is, in fact, a form of Yeti. Based on what I've been able to piece together, though, he's a bit more than that. A few Yeti societies consist of members as intelligent, if not more intelligent, than your standard human. From what I can tell, The Grey Man belongs to one of those tribes. I'm not exactly sure *what* he is beyond that. He may be nothing more than a vigilante Yeti working apart from the laws of his tribe, or he might be as significant as...I don't know. A ghost of the tribe's shaman, maybe.

He's a mysterious figure. I want his wakling stick. It'll settle an old score.

Hmm. A vigilante Yeti with a failed political career and a walking stick.

Hmm.

It's not Teddy Roosevelt, is it?

[Lentilla's tousled head emerges from the archway. She walks into the room, and heads right for the trophy case.] Affy... Your sword is glowing brightly. Just thought you should know.

The door was open, so I just walked in. Peet, long time no see!

My sword glows when I'm near danger.

And I live in CLI.

Thanks for the warning, though.

Hey, Lentilla!