h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Throws the raft into reverse upon seeing the wall of water*

Wah!
*Lil is thrown to the floor of the raft*

*tumbles over Lil*

Ouch! Sorry!

Throw the litter sea! It's worth trying!

Forget the kitty litter, only good ole Semtex and Guncotton will save us now

*activates the detonator on the depthcharge and throws it with all his might towards the wall of water*

Errr ! Damn !!

*notices that the depthcharge is firmly duct taped to his hand*



*starts to run from port to starboard and from fore to aft*

*Sees the primed depth charge stuck to Red Dog, who is running around in panic.*

Quick, we gotta get that thing outta here!

*Chases Red Dog around, intending to heave him overboard.*

*sprints faster*

/* Flips forward when the raft reverses and grabs tightly to the leash while Zeppo bites firmly on the edge of the raft. The leash is now pulled taught across the length of the raft at about 8 inches (20 cm) high, where it surely will not be noticed by anyone who should happen to run by frantically with a bomb duct-taped to their hand, if that unlikely event were to ever happen. */

*in an incredible turn of events a Red Dog with a depthcharge duct-taped to his hand happens to frantically run by Zeppo and d'E just at the precise time the leash is streched out. Unbeliveably the leash is not noticed in time*

Wahaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh

*a tumbling spinning yelling ball of Red Fur falls into the foc'sle at the front of the raft*

*Sees Red Dog tumble and jumps over the leash. Grabs Red Dog and tries to heave him overboard.*

/* Red Dog trips over the leash with enough force to ricochet d'E back towards Zeppo, which loops the leash back in on itself and around GL's left foot. Zeppo renews his interest in GLs clown shoes, lets go of his bite on the raft and fastens on to GLs right shoe. */

*Closes her eyes and sticks her fingers in her ears.*

*gets ready to redirect the force of the blast by punching it with her bright green glove*

*With both feet trapped, GL can't get close enough to Red Dog to lever him out of the raft. Desperate, GL grabs Red Dog's leg and tries to pull him closer. Notices the detonator getting very close to going off and switches from pulling Red Dog's leg to pushing it.*

*Quickly draws his sword and cuts at the duct tape connecting the depth charge to Red Dog's hand, miraculously damaging only the duct tape but still not quite severing it*

Gah! What brand of duct tape is that?

*When the raft goes into reverse, it slams right into the hand that was chasing it. The hand, however, wasn't expecting the raft so soon, and splashes over the raft as harmless water. It reforms beneath the raft and grabs for it again*

*with a noise like the mother of all bikini waxes RD manages to rip the depth charge off his fur and throw it away from himself*

*watches Zeppo catch the flying explosive neatly in his mouth*

Good dog !

*tries to crawl underneath GL for safety*

*starts to giggle hysterically at the goings on in foc'sle, but as the cold water drenches her, gets a grip and switches the carameliser to 'ignite' and 'highly focused'*

Hold still Red Dog, I'll cut it off with this...

*brandishes the carameliser in the air whilst clambering over GL and Zeppo*

NEarly there, hold your hands out...

/* In a panic now that Zeppo has a soon-to-detonate explosive in his mouth, d'E does All The Wrong Things™ and pulls on the depth charge while shouting */

DROP IT! ZEPPO DROP IT! DROP IT!

<-- wags his tail enthusiastically and sends the water from the smashed hand in all directions while tugging back

*at the bottom of the raft, under Titania and a lot of water*

glggg!

(Witty's eyes pop open upon being drenched. She takes in all the action, fingers still in ears.)