h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It does seem to be having some sort of effect, doesn't it.

*GL waits till the end of the song, then switches CD's. Simon and Garfunkle ring out*

...Like a bridge over troubled water...

doo doo deeee daa daaa

You just can't help singing along ot old S&G

*dials her nanogun to play "When the Levee Breaks" by Led Zep*

Goin' down...

We could use the depth charges, really we could. It'll only take me a day or two to figure out where to drop them.

/* Draws another arrow on his paper, followed by "f(x)" */

No wait, that's calculus, not physics...

/* Scribbles out the "f(x)" and replaces it with "9.8 m/(s*s)" just as a large drop of water splashes down smudging the whole plan */

Drat. And it is awfully hard to concentrate with all this noise. What's next, the polka gun?

<-- leans over the edge of the raft and barks

We must play Moon River next. My Mum was very fond of Andy Williams.

*puts the raft into a higher gear, making speed for their destination*

*more explosives appear and more and more duct tape is used*

Hmm...

*digs in her pocket and produces a tub of suspicious-looking pearls*

I wonder if this would work. It's a failed experiment of mine. I was trying to make super-absorbent kitty litter for my tiger. I don't even want to tell you how much he went through in a month. But anyway, it ended up being TOO absorbent, and would dry the poor things paws up every time he came near it.

Shall I try?

*unscrews lid*

*on the far shore, six CLI securitybots are watching the action using their infrared vision*

*one of them begins taking bets*

Too absorbent kitty litter? Go sea!



*morphs back into her usual vague self*

It's worth a try!

*The water beneath the raft transforms into a giant hand that grabs at the raft*

You people aren't going anywhere.

*The cannon takes aim and fires*

*Sees the hand and accelerates further, the raft is now red-lined*

*With sunglasses molded to his face by the wind , shouts over the music and the sound of the wind*

The music seems to be working a little - that hand was much smaller than the last one. Zomnmker - do we have the capability of electrifying the hull? Maybe that would stop it from grabbing us.

*Looks doubtfully at the Red Dog/depth charge/duct tape concoction.*

Woo hoo!

You could water ski behind this!

If we're travelling on top of the water, not in it, how can Ghoti grab hold of us? Won't we just go ver his barriers?


*hopes the others heard her over the rushing air and competing rock tunes*

*Looks behind for a brief moment and does not see the hand.*

Did we lose it?

*A literal wall of water rockets out of the lake before the raft, racing for the ceiling as the hand makes another dive for the speeding boat*

Trying to harm fish, tresspassing, and speeding. You people are a menace to nature and a menace to society. That type of abominable behaviour warrants severe punishment!

Batten the hatches! Reef the sails! Mark Twain! *Lil is getting oxygen drunk with speed*

*yells back at the Entity*

Well wouldn't it be better to let us go before we do any more damage?

*hanging tightly on to the raft*