h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*At the bottom of the elevator shaft, the mine itself begins with a large cavern. From the cavern, tunnels lead off in all directions. The distant sound of machinery echos down one of the tunnels, indicating which tunnel is being currently worked. The other tunnels are all dark, with the only sound being the intermittent drip of water.*

*a good distance from the central shaft, far beyond the reach of sensors, far beyond recollection of several generations of miners, past several drowned passages, light suddenly beams into a tunnel through an irregular doorway*

*a pair of reddish eyes appear in the doorway followed by a clanking noise*

It's dark, the footing is a bit slippy and irregular and I've just had a drip from the roof go straight down the back of my neck! Be careful everyone.

*slips*

~ CLANK ~ CLANK ~ CLANK ~

*As she steps into the tunnel, her boots grip the floor of the tunnel*

*Rummages in a pocket until she finds her miner's helmet and switches on the lamp*

Now why didn't I think of getting this converted to an led light?

*carefully gets to his feet, unholsters his dial-a-gun, selects low-power wide-beam Laser setting and lights up the passage around them*

Hey this goes a long way up ..... it must be a natural formation !

*gazes in wonder at the profusion of stalactites, fans, and stalagmites*

*Steps into the passage and gazes in wonder*

*Enters the cave and can't help but grin*

Two tunnels this adventure. Now this is what I mean when I say "good times."

*steps through with inflatable squid attached to her stetson*
Wow! A natural cave!

*pulls out her copy of the map and studies it*
http://www.asterlil.com/h2g2/questmap.htm


This is my interpretation of the description given by Chesworth/Eleven. Any disagreements?

none from me

*illuminates the rock walls with her miner's light*

Look at that linenfold formation, haven't seen that since visiting the limestone caves in Derbyshire.

Ooooo.

*Walks over to the linenfold formation, reaches out and touches it.*

Hey! This really is folded linen!

*Pulls the linen to one side and gasps*

Gasp!

*follows the others, trying to study her copy of the map in the glow from her elf emerald*

*Hang on - why is it glowing?*

*paraphrasing Hunter S. Thompson* Because we're back in bat country, Ti.

Garius, is that another Galactic inscription?

*Peers over GL's shoulder, curious*

The map has no compass pointing North. Just as well though, since the magnetic poles have likely flipped by now, so if we headed North we'd end up going South

/* Fumbles with the flashlight but can't get it to illuminate */

Dang, batteries must be dead.

What size batteries you need d'E?

*Eleven's eyes glow a deep amber and illuminate the rock formations, through which can be seen a faint path that winds between the stalactites and ice cream cone stalagmites*

We discovered this cave when we were excavating the headquarters. It has no name.

*waits for the rest of the salonistas to join so that the panel can be closed*

Can we give it a name ?

Wait, it may not be the batteries. It looks like some of this shielding has gotten over the electrical contacts, if I just move it a bit, I think....

/* A burst of intense blue light shoots out the flashlight, beams just over Chesworth's head, and partially melts a stalactite */

Oh. I don't think this flashlight needs batteries. I think it may be the flashlight that B4 told us about, many centuries ago. That would explain why it was stored on a shelf in the CLI weapons room. When we get back, I have to remember to ask B4 to give this flashlight to Affi or GL for safe keeping.