h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*a drop of molten stalactite drops on RD's foot*

OW!-HOP-CLANK-OW!-HOP-CLANK-OW!-HOP-CLANK-OW!

Er, yes, it is an inscription of sorts. I can't read the writing, but that carving at the top is unnerving. Just look at those eyes!

*Shivers. Turns away, just in time to see a grenade bounce out of Red Dog's pocket, along with a couple of bullets and a roll of breath mints.*

RED DOG! QUICK! BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE! OUR LIVES DEPEND ON IT! GET THOSE MINTS!

The circus is back in town.


*scoops up the grenade just as it starts to roll toward a crack in the earth*

Anybody got a snowzar for that molten rock?

Alas, I do not.

I've got my carameliser, I'll just need to switch over to the freeze cannister....

*flicks the switch to 'Freeze' aims at the molten rock, presses the button and an ice cold jet leaps forth*

...lets hope my aim has improved!

I fear not Caer

Oh no! Sorry Red Dog, dear!

*steps through the portal, using the shillelagh as a walking stick and looks around*

Not bad, Caer. That's a handy little appliance.

It looks like there's an underground passage of some kind between the lake and this other tunnel. Anybody here enjoy scuba diving in caves?

I'll just take the raft, thanks.

why not use the snowzars and Caer's carameliser and just walk or skate across the lake

I'd avoid that because water expands as it freezes. To freeze the lake would mean a whole lot of expanded ice. This expanding ice could easily damage the natural cave which could cause untold damage on the ecosystem. And even if the ecosystem could handle a bit of damage, there's still the fact that we could cause a cave in, which would be bad news for us as we're still in the cave.

That, plus I'm not sure we've got enough charge in the snowzars and caremalizer to freeze it all.

I'm for the raft, too. All I'm thinking when I see this dotted line indicating a lower passage under the lake is... Nessie.

Erm, Eleven, is there anything ~in~ this lake?

I am itching to try out the new and improved raft

From what little experience I have of Nessie, I would say that lake monsters would rather keep themselves to themselves.

Red Dog, if youwant to feel really cold, you should try sitting on the banks of Loch Ness for 8 hours in October

I could warm you up with a blast of flame from the carameliser.

*swops over the liquid nitrogen cannister to the butane one*

I'm fully certified for Grampian weather all year round Caer

I don't want to offend but could I pass your kind offer with the carameliser

it's assumed that the whole group has come through


*The panel slides shut and, after a moment a holographic construct mimics the cave wall surface*

Follow me.

*Eleven begins moving down the path through the formations*

*Follows*

*follows, looking carefully to the left and right*

*puts away the map, adjusts the inflatable squid on her stetson, and follows, looking around as new formations come into the light*