h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Yoome 2 - A2059436
Author: Dozdim145651 - U526319

yoome 2s range of servbices,this is a different version of my original idea,so please read before commenting

"Yoome 2 is a service for eurobell users".

What's a eurobell user? Is it some sort of a telephone, a computer, a satellite dish? What country is it available in?

This entry could be much improved if you added some headings. Start by putting in the headings that you think should be there, then move stuff around so that it fits the headings. If any section doesn't have enough content, write some more.

If you really feel like flexing your muscles, learn GuideML and convert the entry to that. It'll look a lot better.

Hi Dozdim,

I answered most of Gnomon's very valid questions by Googling for Yoomedia.

Remember, the audience for H2G2 entries is worldwide. I had no idea what the subject was. It's definitely a subject worthy of an entry though.

You have lots of punctuation, capitalisation and spacing errors.
e.g.
ladys forum
ladies' forum

For a months subscription
For a month's subscription

isnt
isn't


This is a very long sentence.

"Also the main difference about yoome 2 and leisure district users is,you could message anybody even if they werent on your friends list in leisure district,whereas on yoome 2,you have to search for your friends,send them an invite,wait for them to accept,then you can send them a message."

And then you have a new paragraph, for the conclusion of the thought or idea that is in the above para.

plymouth
Plymouth

Awu

cheers for helping ill change it..thanks!

Now why cant people give me clear advice like that on my other entrys?

What do you think then?

I have updated it,i dont know wether they automatically update it or not?

Oh well..im going off to look at other enrtys while i wait for everyone to come back.
Cheers once again,i think it has made it better,but i would have used the guide ml,but i find i cant make new lines,and i have trouble doing so.

So i just tried without it...so what do you think?

You need a space every time you use a comma, like that.

ok,will do.....so do you reckon this could get in the guide?Or better front page?

How do i get it in?

so what happens.....do i make it great and the h2g2 people come and get it?

Basically, yes.

Although, as I've said about four times so far on different threads, if you click on this link:
PeerReview
and read it, you'll find out *exactly* how it works.

The people who pick the entries that go into the EG are volunteers rather than paid members of BBC staff - known as Scouts (you can click on that link to find out what we do, if youre curious).

Your entries do seem to be improving, though - keep it up

Cheers mate,how can i be a scout?
By the way,there is a great entry on bell ringing somewhere

To become a Scout? The main thing is to understand exactly what requirements entries need to meet to get into the Edited Guide - there are two good ways to approach this...
1) by reading what's already in the EG to get and idea of the style and content that's usual, how it looks and how it reads, by exploring it from the Front Page, and
2) by doing what you're (now) doing and learning from the sharp end by submitting suitable entries to Peer Review and listening and responding to the feedback you get. You really only understand how Peer Review works once you've managed to get an article through it...

Always remember, people in Peer Review aren't criticising you or your entry just for the hell of it, or to try and invalidate what you say. The only reason any of us are here is in Peer Review is because we want to help people improve their entries and reach the required standard for the Edited Guide and make them the best they can possibly be.

Also, most of the better Scouts (many of whom you have already met, and I must say in some cases have been a bit rude to) tend to spend quite a lot of time in Peer Review helping people improve their entries because that's the best way of keeping tabs on what's being submitted. And except in the case of one or two very experienced authors, it's almost unheard of for something to be submitted to Peer Review and accepted just like that - it's usually an interactive progress of revisions and feedback and improvement.

That's what puts off quite a lot of new researchers - I know I thought, the first time I submitted something, "What, I've spent all this time writing this and they're still not satisfied and they want me to change it?". But I listened and what they were saying helped me understand the format I was writing to and made the entry better to read. And so I stayed.

The Italics (that's the BBC people who run the site and keep an eye on all the volunteer groups - they're called that because their names appear in Italic letters, like Jimster for example) recruit for all the volunteer schemes periodically.

In the meantime the main thing is to contribute to Peer Review and making helpful suggestions - someone who's already a known and helpful 'face' around PR is much more likely to make a good Scout than someone who just applies because they think they'd like to do it.

Hope this helps.

Cheers,
Number Six

uh huh,well ill go do that!

So what do you think?I changed the entry a bit last night....

I would be quite good as a scout i think......
I probably wouldnt have an idea what half of the entrys were about so i would have to help people narrow it down but still id be good!LOL!



So hows it shaping up?

I didn't quite understand what you meant about not being able to make new lines?

You can use the tag, if you really just want a break, or .... if, as I suspect, you need a real new paragraph.

You can also drop your entire text into, say, MS Word, to spell check it. I think you see a lot of things need fixing.


It's good to hear you are off looking at other researchers' entries. That will give you a feel for what is required.

Good luck,
Awu.

not really,because im not at a pc,im doing this through a digibox,through my tv.

i am looking for peoples ideas on how to improve this as i would like to try and get guide into the guide before they start recruiting so that they might think that i can see what it takes.

The only problem is i dont have a brain sucker so you will need to help me turn this entry into what you think is good enough to get in.

Well i think it would look better in the format it is in,also i always make my entrys look terrible when i try guide ml,so to save myself from embarassment im going to keep it in that format.


So can someone reccomend this for me?

Or does someone think it needs more improvement....

By the way im being considered for a scout!

People will always try and encourage you to learn GuideML, but it's not a problem - the Sub-Eds generally prefer converting an article 'fresh' from plain text to fixing errors in GuideML where all the tags are wrong

I'll try and have a detailed look at the entry later on, when I'm not at work

Hi Again,

I agree with #6: it's better to leave it as plain text, than to have bad GML. But you should still think about adding some major headings, and give the entry some structure.

But I'm a bit surprised, because your home space says you are a computer boffin. It's very similar to HTML.

Awu

it wont in a minute,hold on ill just change it.....

Anyway.......it is better in plain text,i have used headings....where do i need the headings?

Hi again,

of course, it's kinda hard to see what's a heading and what's not in plain text. I guess you have a couple: EUROBELL and SUBSCRIBING.

If you take a look at something as mundane as A1316260, you'll see he has some structure. Main header of Usage and minor headers.

I can't tell you exactly what you need. You have to sit down and rough out what you want to say. Just as you would in a school essay. BTW - these are good skills to work on - even for a computer boffin. You'll need to write Test Plans, Design Descriptions and Functional Definitions, and maybe even draft User Guides or Help Text.

Awu