h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Screws handy little freshness lid onto Usual*

Okay, I've had enough of that to last me a while. Can I have a blackberry italian cream soda, please?

All of your coffee and italian soda wishes are hereby granted!

Even where mutually exclusive!

This is, of course, impossible. . .

Where did you aquire this gift for wish granting? Okay, I want five million pounds, four million dollars, and seventeen tons of platinum. I want there to be a smudge of coffee on one of the platinum bars. Since it involves coffee, does my wish still come true?

That is not a coffee wish. It is a money wish with a coffee addendum. If you had wished for a cup of coffee with a sliver of platinum, perhaps I could help you. I am only magical when it comes to coffee.

~Irving

This is, of course, impossible.

Peeks in the shoppe as he wanders past and steps in...

You have Latte? I'd love an Irish Creme Latte...
I overherd that platinum thing.. could you perhaps just give him a platinum mug??? It'd be a start, and then he could come in every day and pinch a mug to get wealthy off you

J Murphy

Can I have a cup of coffee which just happens (out of pure chance) to be sitting on a huge pile of gold?
That's a coffee wish with an incedental money addendum isn't it?

Lil, you're perfectly right... and as it isn't 'turning measurements in the facts I wanted...', but 'turning them in some sort of graph that my boss thinks demonstrate that what she thought has to be the truth, even if they say statistically nothing at all' - I'm not doing a good job here
And here Sir F, take an aspirin on the side and go to that nice dark corner over there...

*drugs himself thoroughly, dons shades*
Thanks, I'm through with the stats for this week though.
And hey, guess what? I managed to take my measurements, and turned them into something that looks like a cat. Well, it does have whisker bars. Though it would have to be a Manx cat(You out there enjoying yourself, Bluebottle?)
Can I make a coffee wish too? That's coffee and a summer holiday on the side, then..

Of course I'm enjoying myself - I always do, my friend.

Meanwhile, can I have my platinum mug of coffee? How about an extremely large mug, as I'm very, very, *very* thirsty.

And one of those groovy caramel numbers please, Mr W.

Say, can I have one of those nice cups of tea, please. And a cinnamon roll if you have one.

::Moves over to infinite improbabillity espresso machine to mix the above ordered drinks (which includes the platinum and gold)::

Hey, you guys, this is really wild, you gotta come see, there'r these two gigantic oak trees outside the café and I *swear* they weren't here this morning!

::pulls Garius Lupus' cinnamon roll out of espresso machine (this is, of course, impossible)::

Here you go, one cinnamon roll @

Thank you.
*Bites roll, sips tea. Calm blissful look spreads over face.*
You know, I didn't notice those trees earlier when I came in. Hmmmm. Seems to more and more of them around these days.

They'll be handy in the summer.

Yes.
*Sips drink calmly*

So, Garius, we meet again. Are you following me around h2g2? If so, I visit some forums that take so long to load, you will never escape your computer ever again!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Thanks for the platinum cu . . . uh, I mean the drink, Irv. Yeah, the drink. That's it. Thanks.

If you're impressed by that platinum "to go" cup, you should see what our "for here" mugs are made out of! The purest diamonds! This is, of course, impossible. . .

Have I done three impossible things yet?