h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[Vegeta] ... Hey, what's going on? It's too small ...

[Trunks] [squinting] I think the glue's melting and messing with what he's writing.

[Bulma] Oh whatever, in actuality it's all text.

*Comes panting up to the contest, but as no actual fighting seems necessary right now, sits down to rest. Carefully and quetly so as not to disturb Garius, she leans across to Caer and says plaintively...*

Tea?

*And in the meantime attempts to straighten out the raveges of the impromtu bathing experience she had earlier.*

Yes, tea! I'm sure Garius will want a cuppa after this.

Excellent idea!

*retrieves the brewing equipment, which is self cleaning, fortunately*

Yes! !


*Extracts several packs of Butterscotch Krimpets from her clutch and passes them around.*

The Puppet-Finished! HA! Better than expected: the book has been copied 1.824672 times! Read it and weep!

*The puppet holds up a stamp for Garius to see, not noticing that the glue has melted nearly everything but the last few sentences he has written. It'd take a microscope to tell that the script was unintelligable, but that's the case*

The Puppet-So, unless you can write it at least 1.82467200000001 times, I'm afraid that I've won!

*The Puppet notices the new arrivals*

The Puppet-Ah, newcomers! You're just in time, for you see as soon as I can assimilate this fine specimin's body and brain into my own being, I can absorb the rest of you as well! Feel privileged to be a part of the future of The Ancient One, future ruler of the Galaxy!

*Corrupt saunters out*

Hey, I smell tea! What gives?!? I thought this was supposed to be a quest!

*takes in the /whole/ scene*

Oh, great. Just what I needed, aNOTHER villain that thinks he's eviller than STUMPED.



Though, seeing the state of things, it's probably true...

*NYC pops out the hot mesa sun from the prison entrance, and marvels at the clear sky. He can spot the evil blob easily, and still sees its puppet and the mercenary battling out in a particularly civilized *pah!* manner. In their shadow are the 'angels,' which NYC now spots, drinking tea as if the greatest mass of evil in the galaxy were hosting a book-signing reception. Wow. Nothing perturbs them. That must be fixed. NYC starts jogging towards the concession as best he can with the artillery he's brought with him*

*warily follows the weapon-laden student toward the action, wondering if this is such a good idea after all*



Garius, you'd better find *some* way to beat that creep... I personally don't like my mind being absorbed by some super-smart thingajig... and chocolate cake sounds *really* good right now...



*slaps self*

What am I saying?!?

*jogs faster to keep up with NYC*

*The closer NYC gets to the blob, the greater desire he has to drop everything and bake a chocolate cake - which is funny, because NYC's never had the desire to cook before; leastwise not since the last three-alarm fire and boiler explosion. It's just as well, since there probably aren't any cooking ingredients in Corrupt's magical shop of horrors... but chocolate... /chooocolate/... NYC stops*

Hey, Corrupt; you ever get that feeling?

*Corrupt, who likes chocolate /anyway/, staggers to a halt as a longing for chocolate of any kind overtakes her*

...choco... wha? Um... yeah...

*falls down, starts dragging herself toward the action, a strange, extremely evil glint in her eyes*

...must... have... CHOCOLATE!!!!

*NYC watchs Corrupt get an evil glint in her eyes and take off with all cylinders running towards the blob and the tea-goers. This ought to prove interesting - and heaven help anybody who happens to have a chocolate bar. NYC runs after her at a safe distance*

*gets more cups and pours fresh *

Do help yourselves to a cup.

I haven't tried these before, Witty, they make a nice change to Jaffa Cakes (A185104)

...whereisitchocochocochocochoconownownownow...

*Corrupt reaches the Salonistas and senses chocolate in the vicinity.*

CHOCOLATE!!!

*Unless Caer happens to have a chocolate stash on her, the obsession must have a detrimental effect on Corrupt's judgement, because she takes a flying leap at Caer who is just taking another sip of tea...*

*NYC gasps for the last few yards to the gathering, propping himself up with his howitzer to catch his breath and take in the ensuing catfight. Ahh, life is good. Now, with chocolate it'd be better, but one can't hope for everything...*

OY!

You've spilt my ! That sort of behaviour makes me very cross!

*with a few manouvres learnt from self defence videos, manages to release herself, grabs her caramelising torch and leaps up*

Stand back and settled down!

Now, perhaps we can talk about this....

Oh man! That's going to be hard to beat. Let me see your stamp.

*Takes the stamp from the puppet. GL's goggles zoom in to 1000x magnification. *

Well, maybe not so hard.

*GL takes his stamp and the micro-pen and transcribes the first page of the book onto the stamp, taking his time so as not to melt the glue like the puppet did.*

There, I think that aught to do it. I believe I have copied more of the book onto the stamp, LEGIBLY.

*Glances around and notices the crowd. Waves, then turns back to the puppet.*

You'd better make that a BIG chocolate layer cake!

*Takes a moment to smell the chocolate, and realizes that it must've been Sol who has it*

*leaps toward Sol*

CHOCOCHOCOCHOCOCHOCOGIMMECHOCOLATENOW!!!!

Darn simul-posts.



*looks up at Garius*

Chocolate? Did I hear chocolate?

*The Puppet examines Garius' stamp*

Puppet-Pheh! I can read that without magnifying my normal retina view at all! It's less than a percent of the book! What are you trying to pull?