h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*NYC regains his breath, and rights himself. Attacking the blob o' brains would probably be better for his survival in the long run, but right now his neutrality can be chalked up to simple professional courtesy. Besides, BETTE already stipulated a deal with violence inflicted on the goody-goodys in return for escape - hey, it's killing two birds with one stone! Were it not for the getting splattered on the walls just a few moments ago, this is turning out to be NYC's day! He shoulders the howitzer and pulls out the Seburo*

Alrighty, prepare to meet lots and lots of flying bullets, devilishy droll do-gooders!

Why, I'm not trying to pull anything, puppet buddy. I simply looked at your stamp, or I should say, the LEGIBLE portion of your stamp, and then wrote more LEGIBLE words than you did. Have a look at your stamp and count the LEGIBLE words.

*Turns to Corrupt*

Yes, if I'm not mistaken, there is a large chocolate layer cake coming our way soon.

*Notices NYC and his arsenal. GL uses his superspeed to flash over to NYC, flip the safety catch on both weapons and flash back to where he was before. This happens so quickly that it is imperceptable.*

*The 'Angels' don't immediately respond. NYC lets fly another string of alliterative quips*

Eat lead, dreary dullards of daring-don't!

*Ratatatatatatatatatat*

*clickclickclickclickclick...*

*NYC looks at his SMG*

Hmm?

Have we done something to upset you? Would you prefer Earl Grey if PG Tips isn't to your liking?

*discreetly sets the flame setting on her caramelising torch to 'lightly singe'*

*NYC notices the safety on his Seburo clipped "on." He doesn't remember making such a mistake, since he never keeps the safety on anyway. He unclips it*

Oh, it's nothing personal. It's just that I accepted a deal with a mysterious organization that would otherwise be in direct competition with STUMPED in the control of of the earth in return for my freedom, and it just so happened to involve the application of very much harm to the likes of you, and so... aww, who am I kidding? It IS personal.

*Ratatatatatatatatatatatatatat*

YAY, GARIUS LUPUS!!
I hope he won more than a chocolate cake.

*bullets knock the teacup out of Lil's hand*

What an irritating person.

*concentrating on her healthstone, Lil causes the firing pins in NYC's guns to rust*

Do we have any other cups? I'll want some tea to go with the chocolate cake.

*GL zips over and flips the safety catches back on again and puts a 45 degree bend in the muzzle of the seburo.*

*And another 45 degree bend in the barrel, too. *

Now all he needs to do is attach a dentist's mirror and he can fire over his shoulder. After he replaces the firing pin.

*With an out-of-place -kaPWING- sound, a tall brunette appears and stomps over to NYC, who is holding the bent weaponry. On second look, she isn't quite human; short gold antennae stick out of her ears. Around her neck is a chain with keys dangling from it, much like the one that NYC used earlier to go to the shop that this robot guards.*

I TOLD you not to beat up the merchandise! Now you've voided the warranties! You can't just take stuff from the shop without paying for them and then *destroy* it!

*wrenches the weapon out of NYC's hands and knocks him over the head with it, then disappears with another -kaPWING-*

*NYC winces at the pain, and having all his weaponry rendered useless in even less time than it took him to get the stuff, he find himself quite irate. Rubbing his head, NYC marches over to Asteroid Lil, snatches the healthstone she's presented, and dropkicks it across the mesa*

Hah! Y'call ME irritating...

Oh dear me, now I think he has gone a little too far!

Sol, I think you had better set him some homework and just in case he doesn't want to do any.........

*her finger hovers over the ignite button on the carameliser*

just as a matter of interest you may like to enter 'caramalising/caramelizing torch in to google, when the flame is fully focused it ain't half scary!

Don't ever do that again. Or I'll use it on you. Do you really think I carry the healthstone loose in my hand or that I would let you anywhere near it????


*for the sake of continuity (even though NYC doesn't acknowledge it), Lil goes off and fetches her healthstone, then returns, with it in its usual SAFE PLACE*


Lil
Sage of Continuity

*Places her pumps back on her feet, stands up with in hand and addresses NYC.*

Young man, what is this nonsense? You have your freedom. You have no need to harm us. Now, either be on your way, or, if you agree to behave yourself, you may tag along on our quest.

*Gives him The Look.*

Excuse me? No, really; excuse me? I'll dare to disarm your character; I dare quite mightily! I'll dare to do so because you just disarmed mine quite completely in one post, after failing to acknowledge my attack upon you and your companions in the preceding post! I wasn't aware there was an anti-bullet shield around you or Caerwynn, and I certainly didn't see her do any fancy dodging moves. Could you care to elaborate, or should I just respectfully bow out of YOUR adventure?

I did acknowledge being shot at. You shot the teacup out of my hand. That's why I attempted to disarm the gun.


So what about this chocolate cake, then?

With all due respect, Lil, you didn't allow NYC to state the effect that the rusting spell had over his weapon.


*The Puppet carefully looks at his own stamp. He looks closer. And closer. And a little closer. Eventually, the Puppet just sighs and vanishes into thin air, and a piece of chocolate cake appears before GL, hovering just a foot in front of his face. The Ancient One, hovering silently for all this time, resumes its telepathic communicating*

The Ancient One-

*Dr. Greklas whoops in delight, and Dr. Sartasmus' frown becomes a bit less rocky*

Dr. Sartasmus-That's a relief. Now we won't have to break our word to B.E.T.T.E. Though I still don't know why you just don't break our word with these other people instead....

*Meanwhile, Dr. Greklas runs back into the shuttlecraft, and comes back out pushing the frozen form of Trinstar (who, for those who haven't seen it before, looks a bit like a demonic Afgncaap5)*

Greklas-Let's not forget to drop this off in a demon-proof cell on our way back to the prison.

OK. I apologise, NYC.


Only one piece???