h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*This is a very, very large launch pad, complete with hangar service (ships that land are teleported to a hangar after the ship's owner indicates that it can be so (or after the mad scientists become angry enough at the delay). The pad itself is not too far from the Castle's Graveyard. Suddenly, Dr. Sartasmus appears out of a cloud of black smoke, and he begins waiting for the arival of The Masque*

You can't help my isolation
You can't help the hurt that it brings
You can't help, my absence of faith
You can't help my everything



*The Raven II lands gracefully, its landing gear extends to meet the ground and absorb the shock entirely so that those inside feel nothing. Its wings fold up like a bird's, and a hatchway opens. His Excellence, Emperor Masque of Planet X descends the ramp flanked by two robots of indistinguisable make. His blood red cape flows behind him, his crimson helmet glitters, and his body fitting black space armour gleams. None of this distracts Doctor Sartasmus from the long, odd looking metal staff he is holding, or the uncouth scientific equipment that the robots are carying. All the technology Doctor Sartasmus sees is, though he cannot tell because he's never seen it before, designed by X Labs, a facility on Planet X where the Masque himself and scientists from various civilizations that pay him tribute both design new equipment and violate intergalactic trade mark law. X Labs is not officially or in any way associated, it should be noted, with the Law Firm of Washington, Masque, and Gavel.*

Good time period, Doctor Sartasmus. (The Masque uses the generic greeting applicable only on spacial bodies where the difference between "night" and "day" is irrelevant and, indeed, nonexistant) You are quite hospitable, I must say.

*The Masque's watch beeps. He checks it and his posture relaxes.*

Ah, my agreement with Philip Glass has gone through. I was tired of listening to Trent Reznor, and now I can use Glass's music as the soundtrack for my ship instead. How are you, Doctor?

Sartasmus-Very well in deed, Lord Masque. I trust that you are feeling well. I hope that you do not mind, but we must transport your ship away. We have two very pressing rendezvous coming up shortly, and may need toe launch pad. Based on your transmission, I must assume that your business will take much longer than a casual talk over a drink. In fact, I feel that I may just have to invite you to the pre-guest dinner that all of the mad scientists are holding tonight in the banquet hall. After all, it would be rude to force you to wait and dine in a guest room while everyone else enjoyed the company and conversation.

I just hope we won't be forced to try Dr. Harvey's latest culinary experiment. He's a genius, he is, but a few Watts short of a Jacob's Ladder if you know what I mean.

I'd be greatly disappointed if anyone here were sane.

I graciously accept your invitation. I am, as you may know, a student of imortality. Though I myself have never sucsessfully created a Philosopher's Stone, I have discovered various means of prolonging my life in ways most would claim were unnatural. I would be honored to be the guest of a man as accomplished as yourself in the realm of immortality. I hope that we may even get a chance to discuss some necromancy along the way. I hear you work wonders with the dead.

I find that the two arts have a great many things in common. Raising someone from being dead to being alive is a result not unlike raising someone alive to being eternally alive.

*A gong can be heard through the castle grounds. Dr. Sartasmus looks back at the castle, then to the Masque*

It seems as if dinner is beginning a bit later than normal. You may follow if you wish, but if you don't want to you will find yourself walking through the booby-trapped grounds all by yourself.

*Dr. Sartasmus places a hand on the Masque's shoulder, and both are enveloped in a cloud of black smoke that leads to F125887?thread=282936 where dinner is taking place*

*A shuttlecraft arrives from a hangar. Moments later, Trinstar the daemon, still frozen in a stasis field, is teleported to a cargo area within. A portable stasis-device on the hangar is activated in order to keep him contained*

FACE-Just a word to all contestants: one or some of you all are very, very, very near to finding Afgncaap5 and claiming the prize of choosing his fate, the fate of Minos Krylma, the Philosopher's Stone and the Elixir of Life and....oh, let's make this interesting....a VegiMatic! Yes, the stakes have just increased! Good luck to you all!

*Corrupt stumbles out of the teleporter*

Gah! Hmmmm...

*looks around with a guarded stance*

*Sartasmus and Greklas appear*

Greklas-Excellent! The Squid did his work!

*strolls over to the shuttlecraft and climbs in*

*Greklas and Sartasmus enter as well. It's probably safe to assume that GL, Irv, and Red do so as well, they've probably been chewing PAG or something*

[Yar and Mog also arrive.]


[Trunks] Just as boring!

FACE-And yet they don't change the channel.


Greklas-Okay everyone, into the shuttle! And don't interfere with our flying as we're still in very, very dangerous airspace.

*Greklas, Sartasmus and PAG chewers enter the shuttle*

[Yar] Sounds good to me. [follows]

[Mog] Kupo! [also follows]

*Engines power up*

[Yar] [stage-whisper to salonistas] Atomic batteries to power.

Dr. Greklas-Silence, old chum, we don't have time for banter!

*Dr. Greklas enters the coordinates of the Mesa (F125887?thread=338388) and the shuttle takes off*

[Yar] [shrugs] I'm neither old, nor particularly a chum, but okay.