Open your mind and say,'AWW'

Fiction Weird Science


First/Personals Satire Kitchen Syncronicities

On this sad but monumental occasion, we, AGGGAG,
present our 'Farewell' issue, Number 42, the last in the series.

Of all the great entries we ever reviewed, perhaps
none is more appropriate on this occasion!

We have offered a lot of good advice in 42 issues of AGGGAG, but this Entry may ultimately prove most useful to the greatest number of people. Without preaching or scolding
it provides helpful guidance for the suicidal in a series of easy to
follow steps.

Be sure to clip and save this entry for anyone bent on ending their existence.

Quite probably they haven't considered all the meddling little details,
so be a friend and be prepared to help them out.

Sir Bossel


'The condemned requested one final meal.'
Who said that life in general, or recipes in particular, were complicated?

This entry is vivid proof of the contrary. At least in the field of cooking,

but there are also implications on life as such.

tonsil revenge

Ode to a Stalwart:

In the annals of font usage,

there are levels of perusage,

that sink and swim and sway,

to fill the links and pages per day.

There are pedants and short pants,

entries and articles and long rants,

Eating away at your attention spants,

and making you wish for a trip to France.

But in the mist and the midst of it all,

a little drop of sunshine managed to fall,

reviving entries that threatened to stall,

and catching wits that heeded the call.

On the 373, 254, 117, 213, 422, 784, 907th day God created

AGG/GAG,

to fulfill a destiny few could have had

in mind, or view or nightmare bad,

a destiny that stands when others sag!

A full measure of a year has gone by,

each lovely issue surgin' forth in full cry,

stimulating the minds with equal truth and lie,

until the day when it had to say good-bye.

A vibrant colour is now missing from the rainbow,

it's loss a stunning and saddening side blow,

and tears and sniffs and red eyes show,

that many wish it didn't have to go.

A child's voice asks 'Mummy, why?'

And the Mummy lets slide a sigh.

The darkness once more is nigh.

The child begins to cry.

'I want my AGG/GAG', is the shouted demand,

and the mother wonders if it's out of hand.

'Go get your brother and play in the sand!'

'I think I left him there, I'll find him if I
can.'

Spaceman Spiff

This entry is doubly qualified for a place in the Agg-Gag column. It is not only one of the most entertaining pieces I've ever read on h2g2, it also rocked the ol' boat a li'l regarding the limits imposed by the writing
guidelines and what should or shouldn't go into the edited guide. I figure the way this entry fared in peer review is a perfect illustration of why I got involved in Agg-Gag and how it started in the first place. This column came to be because we all had the same feeling that there are great entries that don't fit the guidelines and would never get near the EG, but still merit the kind of readership, feedback and recognition that only PR provides on this site.

In the first PR thread it was praised but debated. Many PR regulars, including several scouts, loved it; but most also said that they felt it did not comply with the guidelines and probably was not destined for the edited guide,
specifically because of the key requirement that edited entries had to be 'factual'. The author did not take this lying down, however, and argued her case forcefully and cogently. Whilst she admitted that the 'facts' could not be proved, she also defied anyone to disprove
them, or come up with a more valid explanation. It was a fun thread to be in!

Despite the ongoing debate, the entry was picked by a scout (it really is a great piece of writing, so that's understandable) but rejected by the editors (as non-factual). Not A girl who is easily put off, Ben took a few steps back, adjusted some aspects of her entry and then steamed right on back into PR for another round and that is where it sits today for all to see and scouts to pick. God bless 'er!

As Ben herself has commented:


'Entries like Hellman's and The Short Guide to Short Words¹, which stir up controversy like
a f**king emulsion, are much more satisfactory than the ones which go straight in. But then one of my mottos is 'subvert the dominant paradigm'.'

Subcom.Deidzoeb

What AggGag Means to Me

The alleged purpose of AGG/GAG is to publicise the best of the unedited guide. But the cynical explanation is that we just wanted to play at being Editors. We wanted the kind of glory the Editors get, because we knew there was some good material falling outside the scope of the Edited Guide.

The thing that excites me about this possibility is not that I got to take part in it, but that the tools given us for building the Edited Guide can be misused for all kinds of other purposes, even without breaking House Rules. Anyone can easily write, collect and promote articles with the tones or topics or world views they prefer. Even if it never gets anywhere near the Edited Guide or even Peer Review, you could get lots of people reading it. A group with enthusiastic grassroots support could become popular enough to compete with the Edited Guide. For example, who would have guessed that the Thingites page or Wind Force Twelve Abaft the Beam could become some of the most popular pages in h2g2?

It's not that I want the Edited Guide to be overthrown or diminished by areas that spontaneously become more popular. It's just astonishing to think that you could be the one overshadowing the Edited Guide.

I know, the stiff competition of AGG/GAG never induced a shiver in any of the h2g2 staff. Still, in some ways, it feels like we're standing on top of the world, even if we're really just teetering on top of a 15 centimeter globe that's been discarded from a classroom because it shows outdated countries like 'Yugoslavia' and 'Rhodesia' and, oh, I don't know, 'Canada'.

'I really tried to find a special entry to recommend for our #42, 'Final Farewell' issue that exemplified the spirit of Agg/Gag/Cac.

I'm still not sure if this really works for that purpose. '

One final thought from tonsil revenge

on the true meaning of AGG GAG. Apparently it's part of
the nucleotide sequence in salmonella.
In particular the fourth line below the red section.

And so, with that

swam off into the sunset and loved hoopily ever afters

03.10.02 Front Page

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