h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

You can just reread the original.

My gosh! Is that Tirlywhirly guy really the old bob from when I first started on h2g2? He's so un-wild and un-crazy. I hardly recognized him all domesticated and fatherly. It looks good on you old fellow. Elly cleaned him up nicely!

Elly is a hard worker!

You can't beat a woman's touch as Doris Day testified.

well, actually...

is that a two-stroke I hear?
-...-...-

Strokes of luck are more fortuitous than some other kinds of stroke.

doris day might be right, but she's just not my type

I think she's my type, though.

But, sadly, not the right demographic...

not cleaned up or anything sorry to disapoint you my good man.. just not online much these days oh how life gets in the way of importan things

like being dead

Death doesn't give you many benefits.

how do you know that

have you consulted a

We have 2 babies in the house, a boy and a girl. Well, the boy isn't really a baby anymore.
And don't say he's cleaned up, he takes it personally and doesn't wash for months!

I don't know about Doris Day either but that Helvetica
from SanSerif, she's my type.

just watch your step and don't make any typos, i say

If you took Paris Hilton seriously (which I don't recommend), you would accept her as the modern day equivalent of Doris Day....
But, honey, there ain't no comparison. I'd take Queen Latifah's Motormouth Maybelle ("Hairspray") before I'd take Ms. Hilton.

One's the perpetual virgin but I don't know what to say
about the others.
-[

Send the virgins to Virginia? Or the Virgin Islands?

The streets of Los Angeles are not a safe place to be if Ms. Hilton (or Lindsay Lohan or Nicole Ritchie) are driving on them. A safer universe would be one in which problem drivers sat in stationary cars while the world itself moved around them.

give the girls roller skates, i say