If you thought my name was dumb, just wait until you see this slogan!

I Survived
Single Sign-on"If you're not dreaming, then you're just asleep."
                                                      Mk.6 Mod.4

If you move the arrow a tad left... there! That's me. Hey everyone. (So how else should I start this thing) I'm Dan. From Seattle, Wa, USA, Earth, (What a dull name!), Sol, Milky Way, the physical universe. I used to live and work on a nuclear submarine based in Norfolk, Va, USA, etc. etc. Strangely enough, with a hull number of SSN 723. (C'mon, what do you get if you multiply seven by two by three.) For fans of The Shining, what with Room 237 and all, we called the boat Room 723. If that helps clarify our opinion of it. I am now gloriously unemployed, at least until the circus comes to town... I enjoy reading, sleeping, sky diving, scuba diving, and various other high risk activities. (Except Knitting) If you have questions about life on a submarine, feel free to go rent "Das Boot". If you still have questions, go ahead and ask. Just remember, some days it was Peaches and Creme, some days it was Sugar, Honey, Ice Tea. S-H-I-That's right!

I also get into the occasional Lightsaber duel. Mostly with people who try to spell it lightsabre. En Garde!

I got it at the Store

Um, well. You've been introduced. Anyone still reading runs the risk of talking to me, so now is a good time to run out for a drink...

How you get there is up to youActivities and Interests I am a Warrior of the Light
Join us, and stand against the coming darkness!
I am a co-founder of theMasters of the Multi-verse
Join us, or one day you will turn around to find a squad of Fanatical Death Chickens!
Masters of The Multi-verseMasters of The Multi-verse
smiley - tomatosmiley - tomatosmiley - tomatosmiley - tomatosmiley - tomatosmiley - tomato


Masters of the Multi-VerseMasters of the Multi-Verse

These are the badges I have earned in service to the MotMV, even though I take credit for all the operations we undertake. Except the tearoom. That one ain't my fault!

I fought to stop the galaxy being saved and all I got was this lousy medal.

Masters of the Multi-VerseMasters of the Multi-Verse

I was beaten by the Terranic Army and all I got was this lousy medal.

Masters of the Multi-VerseMasters of the Multi-Verse

I fought off STUMPED and all I got was this lousy medal.

Masters of the Multi-VerseMasters of the Multi-Verse

I fought off the Evil Army and all I got was this lousy medal.

Masters of the Multi-VerseMasters of the Multi-Verse

I survived base relocation and all I got was this lousy medal.

Masters of the Multi-VerseMasters of the Multi-Verse

I invaded and destroyed Vogsphere and all I got was this lousy medal.

Masters of the Multi-VerseMasters of the Multi-Verse

I took part in the MotMV's ceiling raid and all I got was this lousy medal.

[Took credit for success]

Masters of the Multi-VerseMasters of the Multi-Verse

I am a Keeper

I am the Keeper of annoying habits like using an elevator to travel only one floor or being given a knife but still trying to cut your pancakes using only your fork. I apologize. And sympathize. I just really dig on Pavlovian response.

I am a member of the Random Quote Guild Need some inspiration?

The Random Quotes Guild badge "If everything is coming your way, You're in the wrong lane."
"Some days you get the elevator, Some days you get the shaft."
"Some days you're the pigeon, some days you're the statue."

Snow-covered mountains with river and wolf encircled by text reading Northwest US Researchers' Group

I am a member of the Northwest US Researchers Group

All you rain-addled coffee buzz monkeys and tech junkies, say yo!
I am a member of CAVE
We demand the freedom to express ourselves, misguided as it may be!
The UBC I am a member of the United Bedroom Confederation
End Sockism in our time!
I also may be, or may not be, an official Confusionist
If you want to join, go here.Or maybe not...
oh, and by the way, 2*3*2*3+3+3= 42

And since you never know who is having a birthday, drop them a note. Then grab some of their cake!

Current Events

Currently, living in and around Seattle, somewhat subsidized (ameliorization of On Welfare). And I am also fantastically in love with Yael, AKA, Lady Pennywhistle. After something of a hiatus, Haikeeba! returned from out of the blue... well, actually, from Japan, and I was immediately persuaded to resume posting regularly. This was on or around March 3 of 2005.

Being one of the founding members of the Masters of the MultiVerse, I soon ran into LP as chaos broke out in the 9300 block of the old new tearoom.

We have talked much since then, and began exchanging e-mails. Then on or around July 3, we somehow decided to stop avoiding those three little but devastatingly huge words, and I have been head over heels in love ever since. smiley - loveblush

Then in February 2006, I boarded a plane and flew to Israel, and stayed with Yael for 3 of the best weeks of my life. Until next time.

Which was at the end of August, 2006.smiley - wow

And was fantastic. As was the third time we were together, in Jan/Feb of 2007. As will be all the next times.

So since I'm apparently supposed to defend her honor, and keep people from picking on her, and stuff like that, then if you want to do that, you'll have to get through me first.

So go ahead. You have my permission. Tell her I said 'Hi!'.
smiley - roflJust kidding. I love you, Yael. smiley - love

Non-HooToo Stuff

Okay, I got links I like to go to, and then I got interests and other stuff, so standby!

Links (Reference)

  • IMDb.com - The Internet Movie Database
    This is the only site to go to for information about movies past and present. ...Actually, since this is the internet, this is one of millions of sites about movies, but this should be the first one you go to.
  • Dark Horizons
    This is the only site to go to for information about movies present and future. ...Actually, I'm getting deja vu all over again.
  • Dictionary.com
    It's the E location for elocution! ...geez, and to think they don't even pay me for coming up with stuff like this...
  • Let's Sing It!
    A good place to look up song lyrics, but stay away from the discussions, because nobody discusses anything. They just say they like the song/artist/band/whatever. So helpful!
  • The Drudge Report
    All the news that's fit to print!

Links (Recommended Reading)

  • The Onion
    All the news that's unfit to print! Because they make it all up. But it's very brilliantly done. Good times.
  • MaxBarry.com
    This is the blog of Austrailian satirist Max Barry. Author of Syrup, Jennifer Government and the newly published Company, he can always be counted on to be very funny and disturbingly prophetic. When he's not tooting his own horn about Hollywood making movies about his books. Well, way to go, Max! Now go back to being funny!
  • Despair.com
    If offices hung these posters on the walls instead of those ones with all the motivational lies on them, I think things would be better off in the long run, just for the fact that the employees know they aren't being lied to.

    Also fun to post pictures in other people's blogs, and let them think the worst. Pictures are worth a thousand words, but these ones have captions, just in case...
  • Online comics
  • Perry Bible Fellowship
    A funny, random, but sometimes rather dark comic strip. Sometimes it seems like the author is completely out of ideas, but that's usually when the funniest ones come out. Somewhat like 'The Far Side' by Gary Larson. But not. Way it goes.
  • Sluggy Freelance
    A funny comic strip a friend smiley - loveblush got me into. Very accurately portrays just how most guys think and react to stuff. ...and it's got lots of hot chicks! (Note: Started in August 1997, and has somewhat of a storyline, so you should read them in order. But trust me, the backlog is worth it.)
  • Nothing Nice to Say
    Oi! It's about punk rock! ...It's also on hold, or something, but the author does another strip, called San Antonio Rock City Whatever.
Links (Apparel)

  • Think Geek
    R2D2 was basically the first computer hacker, and ever since then, hackers have been short, fat, very white, obsessed with princesses and computers, and talk in a language only other hackers understand.
    But hackers need clothes, too! So here's the place. A really great site for all things geeky, nerdy, dorky, or just plain weird.
  • T-Shirt Hell
    More T-Shirts. ...but I can't say this often enough: Let the buyer beware! And be very fast, because you're probably gonna be running from somebody. Because there's no way you can wear one of these and not offend someone.
    They also have wrapping paper!

Links (Fun and Games) ...I should really just make a links page to put all these on. ...but I only get like, one visitor a year here, so don't really care who I'm inconveniencing by doing it this way. ...Maybe that's why I get so few visitors...

  • Three Mile Island
    Some of the games on the site are kinda fun, but most are annoying. You've been warned.
    Go to the Math and Science section and try playing "Three Mile Island". This is how we had to do things back on the submarine, only we didn't have the cool music. ...No wonder I'm not a nuke, anymore.
  • Nationstates
    Enjoy bitching about the leaders of your country and what a bad job they're doing?
    Well, try strapping on their shoes, and then we'll just see who can spell second term!
  • Nukezone
    If you've had it with Nationstates, and its' quasi-peaceful answers to problems, just head over to Nukezone, strap on some high tech, and blast random strangers back to the stone age!
    Remember, the best defence is to have your enemy drowning in a pool of his own blood. ...or something like that...
  • Ferry Halim's Orisinal
    A bunch of nice, fun, and surprisingly addictive games.
    Just don't play the cat game (upper right) unless you're ready to have that music in your head for the next ten years. Cat years, but still...
  • 30 Second Bunnies Theater Troupe
    Classic movies acted out in 30 seconds. By bunnies. If you're having a bad day at the office, e-mail some of these to everyone, and you'll be the talk of the watercooler! Well, for about 30 seconds, anyway.
  • Weebl's Stuff
    Oodles of flash movies, such as the Kenya clip, Scampi, and, yeah, even that infamous badger clip.
  • Albino Blacksheep
    Lots of clips, loops, pranks, and games. Hey, if you need to get fired, you may as well go out with a bang, right? Prank your boss!
    Or just play the Llama song at full volume for six hours until a stapler-wielding mob runs you out of town.

Things that aren't links, but probably should be, because I find them interesting.


Okay, okay, so it's all one big link, but that's just to save time and space. Actually, those two are defined in physics as one and the same, so basically, I'm saving spacetime. BOOYAH!

And in case you are one of those people who feels compelled to read the entirety of an intro, or just want to see what I look like, then I look a little bit like this guy. That's because it's me! The one in the midle, anyway. Surrounded by some of my brothers and sisters. I also have this on my leg. Freeow!

Fun Dan Facts

  • Dan went to school with the punk band MXPX. And in Dan's opinion, the advice given by their album, Move to Bremerton, is bad advice.
  • Dan taught himself to say the alphabet backwards. Not just the cute "turn around and say it" thing, either. Start with Z and go from there kinda thing. Dan can do that.
  • Dan's mother was born in Japan, speaks no Japanese, is not Japanese, and does not know anyone who is Japanese. She has, however, met both Professor Stephen Hawking and Bill Gates.
  • Dan has also met some famous people, mostly authors. He has books signed by Neal Stephenson, Terry Pratchett, Neil Gaiman, Max Barry, Chuck Palahniuk, William Gibson, and Salman Rushdie. He has also met Penn and Teller, but Teller said "Hi" so Dan doesn't really count that.
  • One of Dan's treasured possesions is his copy of 'Good Omens', signed by the two authors, Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman.
  • Dan used to play the Clarinet in school, but sent his instrument to Africa. No Lie! Missionary was collecting them for a school there. Good riddance, although Dan has a feeling that one day that acursed blasting-horn of the devil will come back into his life, somehow. Until then, Dan plays his metal Kazoo, a harmonica, and is taking air-guitar lessons.
  • Dan is actually a world record holder in harmonica playing. Ask him about it. He likes to gloat!
  • Dan used to have a freshwater aquarium, in which he kept all manner of undersea beastie, from fish of all sorts, to frogs, to turtles, to a crawfish, to snails. Dan's backyard holds enough dead things that it will one day become the worlds 14th largest oil deposit.
  • Dan is a fan of MC Escher, H.R. Giger, Ansel Adams, and pretty much anything else that comes in Black and White or Grayscale.
  • Dan is also a fan of Ralph Steadman, but has frequent nightmares, which usually take on a distinctly Steadman style.
  • The first time Dan went to a movie, The Muppet Movie, he cried so long that his father swore to never take him to another. To this day, Dan goes alone.
  • When at a movie, Dan stays until the end credits have rolled, and then some.
  • One of Dan's favorite movies is Fightclub. Dan's power animal used to be a dingo who said swerve. But a recent trip to the Seattle aquarium has made Dan consider changing to a Sea Dragon. It's a mix between a seahorse and some seaweed. In all likelyhood, it will still say swerve.
  • Dan almost always wears sunglasses. Even indoors, and at night. When people inquire about this, Dan usually mutters something about "windows to the soul".
  • Dan swears by Saucony brand running shoes. While most people just swear at them, he will drive up to 100 miles to go to a store where he knows they sell the brand. But only if he needs a new pair. And only if he has called to check that they have a size 13 in stock.
  • Dan considers himself to be the opposite of a kleptomaniac. When at a supermarket, he gets uncontrollable urges to take things off shelves and sneak them into other peoples carts. He is fairly good at it, only rarely getting caught, and can't explain why it is so fun. Just like the people in the checkout lane who can't explain how some random item they didn't want ended up in their cart. Suckers!
  • Dan has ADD, dysthymia, diminished hearing in his right ear, and is rather shy and introverted in person. He describes himself as a lone wolf, but really thinks of himself as a sheep in wolves' clothing.
  • Dan does not know how to spell dysthymia. He is somewhat reluctant to look it up, as he will then find out what it means.
  • Dan is a big tipper, having seen Reservoir Dogs several times too many. He likes to fold a five dollar bill into an origami Crane, and leave that for especially hard-working waitresses. Or especially cute ones.
smiley - huh

Let's take a minute to remember why we're here!


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NuclearConfusion -Not a lot of money in the revenge business

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