h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*walks through the yard and trips over an ex-virgin zombie*



What the???? Oh hasn't anyone heard of picking up after yourself???

*starts collecting zombies to run through the wash and prepare for waitduty*

Zombies could be ing slow. They ing lurch everywhere after all.

!!!

You mean we have in "Lurcher" zombies? I thought they looked a bit ing familiar...

That could very ing well be the case. ! There's one of the ers now!

I always thought one Lurcher was plenty for this world... we need to do something about this...

....

L

*Breaks out the ing shotguns8

Lurcher, if you have no objections, I'd like to ing improve my marksmanship and, depending on the distance of the ing zombie, hipshooting?

You're going to shoot the zombie's hips?

I'm gonna rest the shotgun on my hip and aim in the general direction of the ing zombies. It sometimes works.

go 4 it mate!

soz that i havent bin around this in place 4 a og a long time. had so much to do round here. havent forgotten by in obligations to spread the tho, no in way!

omy

*Waves to omy*


HAHA, that'll ing learn ya'. Wan some more? You wan some more? Yeah!

Time was when this was a place of culture and excesses, a genuine attempt at something different.
Virgins were sullied all day and every day, priestesses slunk about doing outrageous things, insults and character assassinations were commonplace.
Not any more.
And who is to blame?

Me. That`s who.

With Thog`s departure, I should have shown more interest in helping to keep the place contentious and irreverent, blasphemous and inventive.

I failed. Miserably. All that is left for me to do is to depart this place of (almost) Utopian delight, with a heavy heart.

Farewell, all you of over indulgent appetites, May the live eternal in your breasts.

*Unsubscribes with a tear in his eye*

PS...Roadkill, if you`re shooting from the hip, place your left hand nearer the end of the barrel... your accuracy is a in disgrace.

*ing near shoots Lurcher*

Don't go! I need your ing help! ing too many ing zombies! Come ing back!

*Moves left hand closer to end of the barrel*

Yeah! Kick

Oh for the love of !!!



There will be no in firearms in the ing Temple of Roadkill! Your intentions were good, but now we've got zombie parts all over the grounds, and I hate to think what the ing Environmental Priestess Agency is going to say about that...

And as for you my dear ing Lurcher... you are not allowed to ing leave. End of subject!

Yeah! What she said...

*Takes firearms out of the ing temple*

Sorry Michele... yur sorry. it, sorry.

*Starts to clean up zombie parts to make brand dog- food.

I knew there was a reason I've always fed Goofus table food...

Well, if you don't ing like that, we could put on a ing Bodyworlds exhibition, Gunters von Haagen or someingthing like that.

::appears upon His throne with a BAMF::
snd then there was this who , but that was nothing compared to the at the really place where they , you know??

Anyhoo.... HI, EVERYBODY!!!!!!

Nice ing job of keeping the place going -- haven't had time to read the ing b'log yet, so I've no ing idea what's going on, but I like the lurching mutant zombie thingie...
Sorry, I have to , but I ing SWEAR I'll check back in soon!!

May the be strong in all of you ers... Batty, Michele, my most able Daughters, thank you for watching after the Temple for me... many s to you fine ladies
Lurcher, you , have a or three on me... and no, you can't ing leave -- yer in it fer in life, mate
Roadkill, dude, ummmmmm.... Well, good work on the zombies... don't damage me in Temple, tho, or there'll be to pay
Ever'body else, keep it y, and listen to my Most able Daughters... do whatever they tell you, you'll be fine. Not to mention well-ed and a lot ing happier
S'inglong, ya ers!! I'll return soon

::vanishes with a resounding THWOP::