This is the Message Centre for paulh, not fond of Lord Mudpants

42-word posts: stories, poems, etc.

Post 281

paulh, not fond of Lord Mudpants


"Why on Earth did you come to Casablanca, Rick?"

"I thought the waters would heal me."

"But, M'sieur, this is a desert!"

"I blame 2Legs."

"How can you? He hasn't been born yet?"

"No, but I've seen the previews, and they aren't pretty!"



42-word posts: stories, poems, etc.

Post 282

Rosa Baggins, (see LOTR appendix Hobbits Family trees for more information)

Mercury retrograde is a time for nostalgia and giving your home the retro look. It’s the ideal time to learn about local history or your family geology. It’s a good to get the 70’s retro look and listen to Fred Mercury’s music.


42-word posts: stories, poems, etc.

Post 283

paulh, not fond of Lord Mudpants


"Your friends are picky!" my wife exclaimed.

"People who travel by time machine often are," I replied,
"though Beethoven seems satisfied with our piano, and
Michelangelo is happily painting Helen of Troy."

"Marie Antoinette hates our cakes."

"Let's fire the cook, then."


42-word posts: stories, poems, etc.

Post 284

paulh, not fond of Lord Mudpants


"How was Chicago?"

"Big. Noisy. Cheering fans everywhere."

"You're the Bears' mascot. They love you."

"All Bears Airlines was great. I met Smokey,
Pooh, Yogi, and Paddington."

"I worry about the paparazzi."

"I miss the cave."

"Baby Bear has nightmares about Goldilocks..."


42-word posts: stories, poems, etc.

Post 285

paulh, not fond of Lord Mudpants


"With this operation you'll never smoke again," the
doctor explained, "but it's not mandatory. You're a
dragon. People will understand."

"My fiancee insists. The wedding, reception, and
honeymoon suite are in smoke-free buildings."

"It's settled, then. Care for a cigar?"


42-word posts: stories, poems, etc.

Post 286

paulh, not fond of Lord Mudpants


"Lookout, what do you see?"

"A ship, Captain. "

"Crew?"

"None. Just a horse with an albatross around its neck."

"Can you tell the horse's gender?"

"Female. Quite old."

"We must avoid."

"Why?"

"It's the legendary ship with an ancient mare in'er."


42-word posts: stories, poems, etc.

Post 287

paulh, not fond of Lord Mudpants


"Here are the plans for the fallout shelter."

"Why so big?"

"Three kitchens: vegan, vegetarian, and regular."

"Two dining rooms?"

"One smoking, one nonsmoking."

"Two coffeemakers?"

"One caffeinated, the other decaf."

"Why so many CDs and DVDs?"

"The cloud may be down."


42-word posts: stories, poems, etc.

Post 288

paulh, not fond of Lord Mudpants


October is National Unawareness Month.

Relax. Sip mulled cider. Let domestic violence,
endometriosis, and asthmatic honeybees be
someone else's problems.

What? The month is half over, so you'll have to work
twice as hard at being unaware?

Sorry, it slipped our minds....


42-word posts: stories, poems, etc.

Post 289

paulh, not fond of Lord Mudpants


"Wait! What was that sound?"

"It's the ghost of an angry chicken. Ignore it!"

"Will it attack?"

"No. Pierre's the only one who should worry."

"The chef?"

"Yes."

"What's he cooking?"

"Chicken stew. Maybe it's an angry duck. Still bad for Pierre!


42-word posts: stories, poems, etc.

Post 290

Pierce The Pirate ~ in Hotblack Desiato mode ~

[Found this on the Internet]

- Dad, are there many ghosts around here?
- There are no such things as ghosts!
- Are you sure?
- I am positive!
- But our maid says there are ghosts.
- Quick, get outside and meet me in the car!
- Why?
- We don't have a maid!

smiley - pirate


42-word posts: stories, poems, etc.

Post 291

Pierce The Pirate ~ in Hotblack Desiato mode ~

[Oy! I for got mention this was a text message communication]

smiley - pirate


42-word posts: stories, poems, etc.

Post 292

Rosa Baggins, (see LOTR appendix Hobbits Family trees for more information)

At the mediums Halloween party, the bottles of liquor smiley - stiffdrink in the drinks cabinet were spirited away by the ghosts who poured the smiley - stiffdrink into the punch bowl to give it added punch. The smiley - ghostsmiley - ghost love mediums to be happy by getting them in the party spirit.


42-word posts: stories, poems, etc.

Post 293

paulh, not fond of Lord Mudpants


After the Sorceror fired him, Mickey lived near
a rundown strip mall. Waving his wand, he sent the
Broom for cheap supplies.

Soon it came back with:

Neversoft toilet paper
Old Wilted Roses plates
Captain Crud cereal
Regresso Soup
Banquit frozen dinners


42-word posts: stories, poems, etc.

Post 294

Rosa Baggins, (see LOTR appendix Hobbits Family trees for more information)

“Hello, I’m Estella Bass; please can I speak to the manager.”
“The manager is busy and will call you back soon.”
“Do you know when?”
"I don’t know as we’re a covert support group who works on a need to know basis.”


42-word posts: stories, poems, etc.

Post 295

paulh, not fond of Lord Mudpants

I get a yen
Now and again
For nine or ten
Books on Zen,
But only when
I'm in my den.


My troubles start
When, at the Mart,
I try to part
With my cart.
I'll buy a tart,
And then depart.


42-word posts: stories, poems, etc.

Post 296

Dmitri Gheorgheni

Shopping in Boston must be demented,
Where I live, tarts cannot be bought,
Only rented.

Dropping ashes on the Buddha,
Makes the cleaning staff
In a bad mood-a.

Bulk-bought wisdom is seldom a bargain,
But more handily quoted
With New Age jargon.


42-word posts: stories, poems, etc.

Post 297

paulh, not fond of Lord Mudpants

The instruments were being abused -- trumpets rusting in the rain, unruly brats pounding the piano's keys -- so the organ formed a union for them, and was elected president.

"I deserved to win," the loser complained.

"They don't trust you. You're a lyre."


42-word posts: stories, poems, etc.

Post 298

Rosa Baggins, (see LOTR appendix Hobbits Family trees for more information)

Let us be above-board when choosing the Big Enchilada who will achieve black sky thinking for us during our 2 hour lunch. We must sing from the same song sheet to become the best of breed in column-shaking and in dialogue marketing


42-word posts: stories, poems, etc.

Post 299

paulh, not fond of Lord Mudpants

"Warren? I didn't know you worked here."

"Just for the holiday season, Mabel. Gotta keep the shoppers safe at the Mall."

"Safe? From what?"

Pickpockets. Six this week alone."

"I feel so insecure!"

"That's why you have me. I'm an insecurity guard."



42-word posts: stories, poems, etc.

Post 300

paulh, not fond of Lord Mudpants

"The President of the Galaxy is a coffeemaker?"

"He's extraordinary -- huge brain, billion-cup capacity..."

"So how come we still have problems?"

"The Galaxy's best minds worked on them."

"And"

"Once they tasted the coffee, the problems didn't seem so bad."




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