This is the Message Centre for paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant

42-word posts: stories, poems, etc.

Post 221

paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant

On the Isle of Flying Zombie Skunks
One stormy night I was stranded.
The waves reduced my ship to chunks
Of wood, with which the shore was banded.

The skunks came looking for my brains,
But after such a night, none remains.



42-word posts: stories, poems, etc.

Post 222

Reality Manipulator

“Why do you keep in hiding from me?”
“Are you hiding from Deadpool and Bob?”
“Is it because of their very bad jokes and puns?”
“Please show yourself Bub and we’ll confuse our enemies by
talking to you Bub my invisible friend.“


42-word posts: stories, poems, etc.

Post 223

Reality Manipulator

“Hey it’s Wolverine and I’m best a what I do, and what I do is very funny.
I’ve an imaginary sidekick called Bub who’s friends with Deadpool’s friend Bob. Spend most of our times drinking and fighting and listening to Deadpool’s jokes.”


42-word posts: stories, poems, etc.

Post 224

Pierre de la Mer ~ sometimes slightly worried but never panicking ~

Deadpool’s jokes are so funny they always make me laugh
ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha

smiley - pirate


42-word posts: stories, poems, etc.

Post 225

paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant

Ryan Reynolds is making a movie about Deadpool, who has only been seen cinematically in the "Wolverine: Origins" that was a such a huge fiasco of a flop when it came out. Hugh Jackman deserves better than to be shackled to Wolverine.


42-word posts: stories, poems, etc.

Post 226

Reality Manipulator

Embody your higher self by re-aligning, reconnecting and activating your DNA sequence and entering into the photon belt. This will eventually lead you having your DNA recoded by aliens which will transform you into a Gallifreyan and giving you a Merkabah antenna.


42-word posts: stories, poems, etc.

Post 227

paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant

Deep in the forest on an isolated planet, I camped, hoping for enlightenment. The rules forbade taking any supplies. I was to live off the land. Fortunately, I had my interdimensional transponder, and could take quick trips to banquets at other dimensions.


42-word posts: stories, poems, etc.

Post 228

paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant

Old Toad's Wisdom of the Ages, now at affordable prices.

Samples:

For $1.00: "Time is fun when you're having flies."

For $10.00: "He who laughs last must have arrived late."

For $50.00: "Beware, Old Toad isn't old, nor is he a toad."


42-word posts: stories, poems, etc.

Post 229

paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant

Like Brigadoon, Lost Angeles rises out of the mists for one day every 100 years.

There's George Burns exclaiming "Say goodnight, Gracie;" Judy on the Yellow Brick Road; The Three Stooges throwing pies; Laurel and Hardy moving pianos; Groucho insulting Margaret Dumont....


42-word posts: stories, poems, etc.

Post 230

paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant

T.P. Bunkum's House of Marvels had fake unicorns and sea serpents, but the "True Path to Happiness" looked promising.

The attendant struck a gong as I entered. Soon I was back at the ticket counter.

I wasn't happy, but Bunkum was.


42-word posts: stories, poems, etc.

Post 231

Florida Sailor All is well with the world

Come see the Egress!
Our most important display is the Egress.
No one visits here without a trip the Egress. Why don't you go see the Egress first?
We have amazing exhibits, why save the best display for last

Egress means Exit


42-word posts: stories, poems, etc.

Post 232

Reality Manipulator

“Please can you tell me when my ASD report will be sent out?”.
“I am sorry but that information is on a need to know basis.”.
“Why?”.
“In case you’re found to have superhuman powers.”.
“So do you think I’m a mutant.”


42-word posts: stories, poems, etc.

Post 233

paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant

When you're a free-range spam delivery man, you roam free.

It's what you do.

Spam-lovers sit at their rickety tables, rusty forks in hand,
waiting for your truck.

You also carry pineapple and ketchup. You're hailed as a demigod.


42-word posts: stories, poems, etc.

Post 234

Dmitri Gheorgheni, Post Editor

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42-word posts: stories, poems, etc.

Post 235

paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant

A college friend that I've known since 1967 has developed stage four liver cancer. He's in remission now, and I helped him celebrate his birthday a couple weeks ago, with chocolate cake and a collection of 42-word stories from the Post.


42-word posts: stories, poems, etc.

Post 236

paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant

I went to the Folies Bergeres
To see "Orpheus in his Underwear,"
A show for gents and ladies,
With various scenes in Hades.

Euridice crossed the Styx,
Which Orpheus tried to nix.
He exclaimed, "Alas, alack,"
Then he was off and back.


42-word posts: stories, poems, etc.

Post 237

paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant

"Lester Crud, our nemesis, has an unsound mind in an unsound body,"
said the Captain.

"How is he dangerous, then?" asked the Sergeant.

"He's not unsound *enough*. He can pull a trigger."

"Blanket the area with pollen. He'll sneeze."

"We *all* will!"


42-word posts: stories, poems, etc.

Post 238

paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant


Clowns
with orange cotton-candy hair
and toffee-apple noses
climb out of a tiny car
- six in front, six in back -
and invade my kitchen,
leaving a trail
of macaroon crumbs,
then put on suits and ties
and campaign for President.


42-word posts: stories, poems, etc.

Post 239

paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant

"Remember when genetic modification meant bigger yields?" Farmer Brown asked. "Now it means potatoes that burrow deeper when they see me."

"My sheep beat me at poker," Farmer Joe commiserated.

Ben closed the window. "Keep it down. The corn has ears."


42-word posts: stories, poems, etc.

Post 240

Pierre de la Mer ~ sometimes slightly worried but never panicking ~

smiley - laughsmiley - spacesmiley - applause

smiley - pirate


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