h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

With More Deaths.

Write More Dumbness

*screw up eyes, wish for *
Hullo
*opens eyes, and gaped*

Lo, behold. More

We neeed!

mmm, i think i'll go write myself up for a spork of my very own.

You do that!

We used to get sporks in Elementary school

I made a plactic one.

Clever. I tried to carve one out of cheese but it didn't work so I ate it.

What is the difference between a spork and a splade? Is it that a spork is normally carved from an Italian hard cheese, such as Pecorino or Parmisan, and a splade is made from one of the softer northern European cheeses such as Gouda?

Or is this completely wrong?

Completely! Welcome to our insanity!

I was told to report here for a uniform, but everyone seems insane, so I think I'll just sneak in and steal one while you're all revelling in your insanity. Can anyone point me to where I can get a black cloak with special pouches for storing the Sacred Sea Salt?

Very simple, just be sure to follow the directions carefully.


Go down that hallway...

*points*


...Then up the stairs marked "down elevator".


(are you with me so far? Good, good. Do try to keep up, I hate having to repeat these directions, as they're usually somewhat complex.)


Now, when you get to the "bottom" of the "elevator" (wink, wink), turn right and walk nonchalantly down the corridor with the flashing red warning lights and the neon sign that alternately says "High Radiation" and "Beware of Poisonous Snakes".

Do *NOT* under any circumstances open the door that says "Fluffy pink"! The sedative we gave the in there is about to wear off!

Ok, moving right along, go to the end of the hallway, open the window, and climb out onto the fire escape.

Follow the ladder up to the next window. Pay no attention to the sign on the window that says "Danger! Protective headwear required!" Just open the window and climb inside... You do know how to swim, don't you? If not, perhaps you could catch a ride on one of the Crocodiles.


You have now entered the closet that holds the black cloaks.


Wade over to the boxes on the high shelves and look in the box labeled "chopsticks". You should find the black cloaks right under the beef and bean burritos.



Any other questions?

I was fine up until I was electrocuted by the tripwire in the closet. Thanks for warning me. But I got out OK. blipblipblip. Sorry, that's been happening on and off.

That Lady Scott! She's likes to make things so difficult!

::opens the crate labeled "Feathers and Beaks"::

Here's your black cloak with special pouches ... they were originally made for storing the Sacred Peppercorns, but I'm sure you can alter it to fit!

I would have gone for it myself, but he asked where to find it.

Thanks! It fits perfectly. I'm a bit concerned about what happened to the Carrier of the Sacred Peppercorns though. Do you tend to go through your relic-bearers?

No, we just like bare relic-bearers.

Nudg nudge wink wink.