h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

As manly as a whore's handbag...

That's extremely hard, then. Don't mess with them whore's

RF

Damn you, "N" key!

RF

Never understood poof juice myself.

I've heard that they can be rough little blighters. I'll stick with the Italian bloke's shoulder bag - far too camp to want any aggro.

Ooh! National Express just came on.

'It's hard to get by,
When your arse is the size,
Of a small country...'

I've just seen a TV advert for a new film that's getting some publicity at the moment. The voiceover seems to think that the film is called "The Devil Wears Prudder".

Not really selling the title, methinks. (Also, it looks rubbish.)

RF

Where I´m from Lynx is the sort of thing teenagers always use when first using deodorant. And I figured aftershave had some soothing qualities, I know my skin can get quite irritated after shaving. Although I haven´t tried aftershave and see if it changes things.

Soothing qualities? Perfume?

Aftershave is disinfectant for your shaving cuts you fools.

Aftershave is something developed by masochists. I fail to understand how something is meant to be soothing when the instant reaction I get is "EEEAAAAAWWWWWOOOOO!!!!"

Right I've spotted a new ad annoying me.
For FIFA 07 (a computer game about football)

You watch a chap striding to the stadium, down to the fence, climbs over.
Is then happily let past by the Police in riot gear, takes of his shirt and joins the game.

Sorry. Going to have to stop you there EA.
He'd be arrested the second he climbed over the fence.
Climbing on the fence - Frowned upon.
Climbing over the fence - Illegal.
Trying to get on the pitch - Instantly arrestable offence.
Learn your law - IDIOTS!

Quite right, if they wan't to make it a more realistic advert, he should proceed to remove his trousers and underwear and run around the pitch until rugby tackled by a police occifer

*wonders briefly what on earth wan't means*

*wonders what occifer might mean*

Well one of those spelling errors was deliberate

I wouldn't wan't to speculate which one

Trying to confuse me, are you?!

Moi Occifer?

Knight: Not having seen the ad for FIFA, I would imagine the fact he got away with all that is the whole point of the commercial. That you can play and watch football whenever you want instead of having to queue up for tickets or similar.

I've been watching the trailer for QI - you know, the one where Alan Davies says something about bees, but the punchline is ed out.

What is it he is actually saying?

And is it actually funny?

Nat West:

Phones answered 24-7: Yep, same with my bank. It's nothing to shout about.

Direct line to your branch: and? I thought banks had computers now. Why would somebody in my branch be better at increasing my overdraught than somebody in a call centre in cardiff?