h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I don't blame 2legs for cancer, but I wish there was someone I could blame.

I blame 2legs for the spread of bipedalism.

I blame 2legs for my vacuum cleaner smelling like old feet every time I use it

I blame 2legs for my moustache wax addiction

I blame 2legs for the looong boooring meeting I must attend today. Six hours of corporate bullshit...

Pastey

Mala, I thought you might have fun with the octopus dress!

I blame 2legs for the huge bruise on my elbow/ arm, which makes it very difficult to lean on a desk while typing.

I blame 2legs that the saddler said it would cost more to repair my saddle than I paid for it in the first place!

I blame 2legs for not blaming him for so long, and now there are two hundred unread posts here for me to read.

I also blame him for housework. That is all.

I blame 2legs for winter/autumn having finally arrived in our green, gray and misty land, anf for my having managed to pick up a sore throat, streaming nose cough and al the other hallmarks of a cold I also blame 2legs for the new baguette trays I just ordered, and for the oppertunity this then gives me, when they arrive, to be able to make twelve baguettes at a single baking session sadly, due to my cold my head won't let me work out the proportions of flour and water I will need, to make the 3.6 KG of dough, necessary to mkae the twelve 300 G baguettes this will need I also blame 2legs for it being cold, and my about to boil myself in the shower for half an hour, underneath 70 degree water
I also blame 2legs for the strange people I met on my journeys about Norfolk, Suffolk and Cambridgeshire, across the fens, the past week or so clearly I'm a lot more 'normal' than I, and indeed other people, often give me credit for
I also blame 2legs for the odd.... slightly odd, conversation I had with a friend who I've known since I was 5 years old, about the pros and cons of setting up self employed in the 'bisunness' of 'prostitution' and, for the even stranger fact it was her who started this conversation with me
I also blame 2legs for... err... no I've forgotten now

I blame 2lesg for the Hitchhikers Live show in Belfast being cancelled next week, and this being my birthday treat, and my chance to catch up with Demon Drawer again, and drink s, and it's not even a Thursday!

I blame 2legs too, for that. 2legs, please rearrange it. Beatrice only has one birthday per year! And s ...

I blame 2legs for the ridiculously long queue I had to endure while picking up my midmorning .

I blame 2legs
1) for the fact that our apartment really doesn't have a useable chimney and for not knowing what to do with our pellets heating now, which was quite expensive and we brought with us from the old place
2) for the gas heating not working properly
3) for rust and lime coming out of our water taps and regularly blocking them up, there already doesn't come any water out of the shower anymore
4) for having no warm water in the kitchen
5) for the fear that there will again gas be leaking into our kitchen because the boiler is in such bad shape

Get a gas engineer/safety check done... now!

I blame 2legs for my shopping today consisting almost entirely of vegetables, and coffee beans, and, for coffee beans, really, I guess, being vegetables anyhow

I blame 2legs for the £2.80 I spent, on some onions, potato, leeks, and an oversized but very* pretty looking bunch of proper* carrots yes... I only* wanted one or two carrots... but... it was a pretty bunch of 'real' looking carrots, with tons* of the green leafy stuff on the top, and lots and lots of assorted shaped little cute prreety carrots dangling underneath, like pretty little carrots, underneath a green parachute of greenary

Even after giving half the carrots to \william, I'm having to dream up novel and as yet undiscovered uses for carrots, in all their preettyness and cutness....

I therefore lbame 2legs for the twitter hashtags #FreeStyleCarrotCreation and #FunkyCarrot
I therefore also blame 2legs for lightly steamed carrots, thrown into a hot frying pan, containing butter, mustard seeds, fennel seeds, cumin seeds, sliced onion, garlic and chilli, and then soaked by a generous juice from half a lemon

I also blame 2legs for the final installation of the red split lentil, smoked streaky bacon, onion, garlic, ginger, chilli, pork and lemon sausage, stew/soup/thing, which I had tonight.... three meals out of it seriously tasy meat though from the butchers helped

Hmmm.... I blame 2legs for my appertite seemingly returning which hopefully* means my cold is on its way

I blame 2legs for hunger; my still being at w*rk 1,5 hrs after official end of day time; the need of shopping milk and something other important I just forgot and the need to go to the post office to return the winter coat I ordered that turned out to be wrong size.

Phew! I get tired just to think about it...

I blame 2legs for my being hungry, cold, and full of 'cold' still
*reaches for tissue to blow nose, yet again*
I also blame 2legs for lodger not having washed up, since last night, and so my not being able to cook yet

Aww, poor darling

I blame 2legs for itching new tattoo, and the stickyness of the coooling cream I put on to diminish the itch and the urge to scratch.

where is the tatoo?

I blame 2legs for my going to buy Baboon ham tomorrow. (OK, its not* baboon ham, but the Polish, soemthing like chinka (chinca?) baboon), does sound a lot like it is baboon ham (err I think it might be a generalised word for smoked ham.... but not sure as I haven't got a clue on its spelling to look it up )
I also blame 2legs for my not being bothered to cook anything tonight; I had a homemade beef and pinto bean chilli instead, with tons of grated cheddar on it (OK, I did make this, obviously, but ages ago; it was one of teh portions I frozen down )

I also blame 2legs for the temp being awkward tonight.... too hot with the heating on... too cold with it off

I blame 2legs for not seing my tweet with piccie of new tattoo - it can be found at "the other place" as well.

Sekhmet is on my left upper arm; companion piece to Bastet on my right upper arm.

I blame 2legs for pictures not being much use to me even when on the 'other place' err plaice

I blame 2legs for the amoutn of tissue I seem to be getting through and for my having to brave the cold weather outside, and go out, in a little while, to go and 'take tea'