h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

the nearest decenish pub is... oo four or five minutes away, and the really* good pub, a few minutes further from there. Oh the joy of living in a city; I blame 2legs for the 24 hour car alarms, the heavy goods lorrys up my road at 3, 4, and 5 AM, the shouting arguments in the street, and fights at 2 and 3 AM, the police helicopter flying round all day long for no real rason and the constant traffic noise, and inability to sleep when its warm as you can't open the window, and the inability to sleep more than 4 or 5 hours, due to the noise... but, I am* near a pub Oh, and I also blame 2legs for the constantly filthy house, due to dust and fumes coming in, the tiles in the bathroom get coated in outside dust/grit/exaust fumes within half an hour of my cleaning them

I also, blame 2legs for it being too hot tonight, and my being so* tired, yet not able to even contemplate sleeping yet

I blame 2legs for autumn, dark nights, hunger and

I also blame him for weird fantasies during contemporary music concerto featuring floggers, spanking pole and 2legs with a hair bun. Luckily next part of concerto was Sibelius and Schumann and my mind went normal again...

I blame 2legs for the mental imagery of that 'fantasty'... in a bun though?! not pigtails?

I blame 2legs for the constant sound of ducks quacking (SMS alert tone), and seagulls squarking/screetching (FB, Twitter, EMail and sundry alert tones) I can't deicde if I like it or its annoying I also blame 2legs for my being in trubble on twitter, for attmepting to serve two masters/mistresses, and be their minion

I blame 2legs for not realising there can be only one mistress/master.

Furthermore I blame 2legs for excess administrative workload. Can't remember I signed up for this...

Highlander had it right "There can be only one" i blame 2legs for my faijling to adopt this rule, and for the subsequent punishment I'll (hopefully) recieve

I blame 2legs for it just having started raining! at last!

I blame 2legs for tiredness due to my finding of Red Dwarf at Netflix. He should have prevented me from watching the entire first season yesterday.

I blame 2legs for the rain in Manchester, which is quite a lot.

I blame 2legs for absent lunchbreak and and for the resurrection of the blasphemic Th-r-d-yites.

I blame 2legs for the pens which i thought were black pens in a colourful case being colourful pens which i didnt want

Did they come with a label doc?

they came in a packet which perhaps I didnt read because I assumed they would be black not lime green
the thing is i bought a set of pilot frixion (the erasable ones) and papermate inkjoy

I didnt even stop to think oh someone will want a plum pen, who wants a plum pen?

I blame 2legs that Bob Geldoff looks set to be the first Irishman in space. I've been wishing somebody would send Bono up there for years!

I blame 2legs for not preventing me from buying a bag of chilicoated peanuts when I picked up my lunch.

Due to that I have eaten it all, became very thirsty drinking at least a quart of water this afternoon and also been feeling generally overdigested.

I blame 2legs for bruising tiredness and hunger... and for it being cold and for my being back home...

I blame 2legs for the moreishness of twizzlers (licorice, not turkey), and drooling dogs.

I blame 2legs for my not knowin g either type of 'twizzler' I live such a sheltered life... otter things I must one day find out about, include this band called '1D', or something, a TV thing called 'big Brother', and something (maybe on the wireless, or internet), called 'X (or ex?) factor' such things as which remain entirely unfathonable mystorys of the modern age to someone such as myself

I also blame 2legs for sausages, and the way the flavour lingers

I blaso blame 2legs for the seeming disapearance of summer just when I was starting to get a bit used to it

I blame 2legs for heartburn.

Most of all I blame him for not making my giving me a new prescription for omeprazol even though I asked for it a week ago.

I blame 2legs for Netflix and Red Dwarf I spent yesterday evening watching two seasons, and a a result I'm and want to .

I think I must blame 2legs for the lack of beds in my office as well.

I'm going to blame 2legs for Mondays when I've been up watching Sci-Fi series too.