h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

>> having discovered fruit (again), and for the pear I just had <<

Verily, the prophesy of Post 17918 foretold of this tree-born
renaissance of fruits. For what is more lampshade-shaped
than a pear.



>> the dairy falls over the tree hiding inside the lampshade
of the dreaming man's trouser leg <<


~jwf~

it must be a sign! a large sign! a large lampshade or trouser leg shaped sign, with the words... words on it...

"Pick your own" strawberries here we come

I blame 2legs for sloow mobile internet, boring French major airport and flight delays. I've been at this airport five hours now, and according to last message it's some two hours more until the flight leaves

No place to have a proper lunch. Just sodas and to be find

I blame 2legs for sunburn and sunblisters. He really should put a hat on my head and suntan lotion on the rest of me.

don't tempt him

I blame 2legs that today's shaping up to be a failure day Can't go into details on the more important bits, because of confidentiality issues, but I couldn't even separate the sausages or get the paper all the way off...

confidential sausages! I blame 2legs that I'm sitting on a broken down train. I should be having dinner by now.

Oh! Oh!

I blame 2legs for the emergency chocolate bar I've just remembered stowing in my coat pocket at lunch time. All is well again.

I blame 2legs for the huge batch of scones i just made and there rapid dissaperence...

I blame 2legs for my baking dilema wheather to make cheese scones, sweet scones, or both, when I make baguetes, rolls, a loaf of bread, and pitta on Friday

I blame 2legs for the restart of my cold *cough**cough*

He really should be here making me and

There's a disgusting lack of chow mein and wine in the house. Disgraceful, 2legs!

It's also 2legs fault that to rectify the above I'll need to a) get drenched in the rain and b) spend money!

I blame 2legs for lack of sleep

I blame 2legs for overflowing dustbins, litres of fresh coffee, and near- wakefulness... and for sore nipples and breasts
I also blame 2legs for the defrosted homemade zen-baguette sitting in the kitchen, and the inevitability of what might happen with the eggs bacon and sausages I have in the fridge

I blame 2legs that I'm having a really day at work.

I blame 2legs for dwarf hamsters, the never ending clutter in my house and all the best jobs being far, far away

I blame 2legs for letargy and procrastination.

It will become patently obvious to everyone that only 2legs
could have influenced the mastermind behind the 9/11 attacks
to convert to nighthooverism:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-23269437

>> "His military lawyer at Guantanamo Bay, Jason Wright, told the
Associated Press he was forbidden to discuss whether the vacuum
cleaner designs existed.

"It sounds ridiculous," he said. "But answering this question, or
confirming or denying the very existence of a vacuum cleaner design...
would apparently expose the US government and its citizens to
exceptionally grave danger." <<


Oh how I larf now, to think that recently someone dared to suggest
that h2g2 has had no influence on the whirled!


~jwf~

I blame 2legs for me getting distracted during an online game of Solitaire and missing cards that I should have picked up (due to the distracting noises from outside the street even though I have my windows closed) and getting forgetting the sequence of cards.

I blame 2legs for my washing machine having died and for the replacement new one going to take over ten days to arrive I may have to buy new clothes, so I have clean ones to wear I also blame 2legs for my over-excitement at having an 8 KG load capicity machine on its way, and the potentially massive load of towels I'll have to wash by the time it arrives, and for the total, all-encompasing euphoric state of blissyness and zen-lbliss I'll get myself into during the subsequent zen-towel-folding that this large washing load of towels will then require me to do
I do, howeer, in the interum, blame 2legs for my not eing able to do laundry today and therefore not ahving any nice freshly washed towels with which to meditate and fold, and reach a tranquil blissy state of zen-towel-folding-blissyness
In otter news I blame 2legs for the otters, and for my new Samsung Android phone and for my slow progress getting to grips with using a touch screen.... BoB.... why on earth do people like these things, you can only type as fast as an asthmatic chinchilla, with no fingers and a broken Qwerty keyboard... so* slow I thereby conclude that the current fashion for touchscreen phones, and tablet PCs must be, ultimately, driven by the vast vast majority of 'computer users', who really don't* use computers... I predict and thereby blame 2legs for the inevitable redundancy of tablets and touchscreen phones, which will surely occur, in the next 2 - 5 years

I also blame 2legs for the heat... its too hot and I cna't think or do housework