h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

come the day, cometh the bacon

However I blame 2legs as that day has not arrived here

The plumber is back. This time he obviously didn't even bother to bring tools.

I blame 2legs for me having to work.

But...but...don't work Pastey! Tell them about the water in Salzburg! And if that doesn't work change it from Salzburg to Salford.

I blame 2legs for no work

I also blame 2legs for two rashers of gorgeous back bacon, and two duck eggs, fried, and homemade onion and poppy seed bread, toasted, with butter....

I blame 2legs for him always having nicer food than me

But, you have beer. I have not got beer. I never have beer. you always have beer.

Life is too short to drink crap beer, or eat crap food.

now I need to decide waht to do for dinner tonight... for which I blame 2legs... I really oughta do something with these remaining sausages from the butchers, and the green garlic from the Lynn's veg stall on the market (where my duck eggs also come from) Green garlic, and sausage, sort of lentil thing perhaps... with red split lentils... and mushroom... or maybe a sort of bulghur wheat pilaf with the green garlic sausage, onion and mushroom... I blame 2legs for the tricky descision in life damnit... and I've got the fresh salady things that I oughta think about using too..... hmmm... shreaded green garlic, romaine lettuce, cucumber, and sausage salad... hmmm... that might actually work... I blame 2legs for err stuff

2legs, you get to the next meet in Manchester, and I'll make sure to make sure you have enough beer.

I *might* even brew one especially for you, if you're lucky

Ahhh ONe problem is, though, I can't* have enough beer any more; I drink so infrequently I have the alcohol tollerence of a four year old... (though, strangely, I think my alcohol tollerence when four year old, was better than it is now )

Off out tonigh tas it happens, but to ten pin bowling, so the only beer is guinness (mind, as its half price on a Tuesday I think I can cope)... but four pints of Guinness, and I'm just about at my alcohol tollerence limit these days... My one night out a week, with a friend, to an actual* real ale pub, and I have four or five pints, and that just about is me done for

Mind... on the plus side. I am now a 32 inch waist for the first time since I was 17 years old, having been as high as over 40 inch, in the last couple decades and have just dropped 1 LB below the 13 stone mark if I loose another 6 or 7 LB I'll weight the same now, at age 36, as I did when 16 or 17 Oh... I'm regressing that's the truth isn't it? I might even drop a dress size

I blame 2legs for my love of strong dark beer, and my inability to drink it in quite the way I once did

I blame 2legs for the sunny weather. I've been wearing shorts all day. Shorts! In Belfast!

Also for the fact that I now have to go put on warm jodhpurs to do indescribable things with s

I blame 2legs for my having to go out to ten pin bowling.... rather than making dinner... I consequently blame 2legs for the large lump of cheese I just took out of the fridge... and demolished all of

I blame 2legs for continuation of chilly weather. 12C this morning

The only way to explain not drinking enough yesterday to deserve the headache I have this morning is of course to blame 2legs.

I blame 2legs for my 'thick head' this morning too..... I also blame 2legs for my deciding not to cook any dinner when I got home... and the resultant two suppers and vast amount of cheese and ham I ate instead

I blame 2legs for phones that make incorrect assumptions about what you want to do!

I blame 2legs for tiredness, cheese, and bread.

I blame 2legs for royal weddings.

I tried to woo a certain young lady with pink , and a good movie but she opted out to watch a royal wedding on the telly with someone else.

Oh well. I think I treat my self with dipped

her loss... I'd have jumped at such an offer

I blame 2legs for four, 67% hydration, long-fermented Zen-baguettes, and a large, loaf of onion bread, which are sitting on cooling racks in the utility room
I also blame 2legs that I've not eaten since last night, so the smell is making me really* hungry...
I blame 2legs, for my resolve... not to eat any of the bread, for a couple of hours, at which time a baguette will go rather nicely with a romaine, cucumber, green garlic, cheese, spiced cooked chicken, salad
I blame 2legs for my inability to forget that I have choc icecream in the freezer

I blame 2legs that I don't have any of his freshly baked bread to go with my home-made chicken noodle soup

I blame 2legs for leaving my purse yesterday in the library (I've got it back) and for having such surreal but very entertaining bizarre dreams.