h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I blame the legged one for my having to be in four places at the same time tomorrow, and my not yet knowing which place I'll be!

I blame 2legs for lovesickness and comfort eating.

I blame 2legs for not keeping the moon tidy and for foam board and for not creating a satisfactory equation to define the minimum requirements to call something an orgy and for expensive cider and also for town criers not getting on the train because they're too fat and for spanish flu and also mumps and for automatically assuming everything that flies is a pterodactyl and for watery bacon and squeaky doors and sock fluff getting on celotape.

I blame 2legs for three people being the usueal absolute minamum for an orgy, but for four people being a more clearly defined minamum, so long as all four arn't already really well aquainted, or its just a run-of-the-mill 'group sex' rather than an orgy... Hmmm... actually, four people could be a bit low too, for an orgy, if it consists of two 'couples', who reularly have intercourse/sexual activity within the couple... a minimum of three couples in such a case I'd imagine, so long as no more than two of the couples regularly engage in 'group sex' with each other... I blame 2legs for it being weeks since I las had group sex, and even longer since a proper* orgy

So that's what an orgy is!

I thought it was a kind of ogre with two backs,
like the two humped Bactrian camel.

Arabian camels dromedormally have just the one.
Make great hassocks sayeth the Cossacks.

~jwf~

I blame 2legs for hop ice cream.

You're welcome.

I blame 2Legs for the weather getting colder and for my left bunion and left knee hurting as well as not having mutant/jedi/magical powers to help me get full time paid employment.

I blame 2letgs for my hangover today for laundry, my addiction to egg and bacon on toast for lunch, and for my lodger not going out today

I blame 2legs for my wallet being left at home. I've got 37 pence to buy lunch with...

I blame 2legs for sore throat, cough and general malaise Why do I ALWAYS get ill when I'm going to a HooToo meet. Stop doing that to me, 2legs!

There is a hootoo meet coming up?

I blame 2legs for it being cold enough, this morning, to put the heating on for a short while, in June?!

I also blame 2legs for lunch/breakfast/brunch still seeming a long way off I got a baguette out of the freezer, which I made a few days back, to have today... and it'll be so* tasty with egg and bacon in it

I woke up with Take That in my head singing "How Deep Is Your Love". You're going too far now, 2legs!

I blame 2legs for grouchy teenagers, my fascination with digitally enhanced Star Trek and endless job applications

I blame 2legs for my recieving an E-mail, through my 'network contacts', apparently wanting to 'head hunt' me for a job Could really do with some more informaiton on the job though, before I get overly excited I also blame 2legs for extreme tiredness due to my not sleeping proper.... or hardly at all, last night I further more blame 2legs for the new knickers I bought today I'm not getting overly excited, that apparently, due to my loosing weight, I am now a size 'small', as I'm pretty sure that at some point, they've moved the boundrys of sizing for 'small' 'medium', 'large, and 'extra large' etc., one assumes to make really fat people feel less guilty about their massiveness Mind... the proof may yet be in the pudding, or at least in the trying on/wearing, as to whether they do* fit or not

I blame 2legs for a cheque from HMRC with a tax rebate amounting to nearly two weeks' pay - thanks, leggsy!

Don't celebrate too soon. The last time that happened me, it was followed by on telling me I owed them five times that. (I didn't, but it was a nuisance convincing them of that!) it was all 2legs' fault of course...

Who but 2legs would be culpable in putting a black hole to sleep?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-22874192

Perhaps this one is the one true nighthoover and we have lulled
it into dormancy through our faith in the credo that everything
sucketh unless we accept our Fate.

Lettuce spray!

~jwf~

the hoovery one hoovereth! lettuce spry err spray indeed fhrilyh and hrily so For once as the bob that was was as the bob that was, so again once that the bob that was the bob that was, can be the bob that is the bob again, and again, and go round and round and round until all the bobs are ery dizzy and then the dairy falls over the tree hiding inisde the lampshade of the dreaming man's trouser leg, for bob as to the leg as the leg as to the umbrella stand, fhrily so

I blame 2legs for beer... err and for no beer

I blame 2legs for cough syrup unpacked bags, missed daytrip to lovely island and insomnia.

9 hrs to flight to HooToo Meet in Reims, and I still haven't figured out the paris commuter train/underground interchange thingamajig.. 2legs, why do you make things so ... French and in French..?

I blame 2legs for my having discovered fruit (again), and for the pear I just had for supper