h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

D'you know some pubs in Britain actually have snail-racing tracks for betting purposes?

really?

Traveller in Time on his head
"Did you know these pubs usualy have beer, the most fgavourite drink for snails.

Sounds like a commercial, snails racing for beer in pubs "

Yeah, they have wooden race tracks, with wooden dividers rather than white lines. I saw one on Blue Peter, I think it was. They put lettuce at the end of the tracks, which seems daft to me, because snails prefer beer and pubs are full of beer. They use giant African landsnails so everyone can see what's going on.

But does the winning snail vibrate with excitement?

Why yes, of course it does.

interesting, is that because it recieves a congratulations text from one of its mates?

*picking up speed *overtakes vibrating snail *continues scattering salt onto the track

Tapoperator swinging his arm
"Free beer for the winner!! "

Traveller in Time not shaking
"The snails do! "

Hopes that free beer for the winning owner too

*begins to pick up speed

*thought hed seen everything, but has never seen a speedy person on a broomstick racing snails*

*chuckles fiendishly as she scatters broken eggshells in front of 2legs*

*ponders* How do broken eggshells affect the flight of a broomstick?
I know you're supposed to put a hole in the bottom of your eggshell when you've finished eating a boiled egg to stop the witches using it as a boat, but surely if there's a broomstick involved no boat would be necessary? Any clarification gratefully received.

*pulls out PDA and loads up 'pathfinder' GPS *scratches head *takes a diversion

Heheheheh, always comes in useful that

Well, yeh, here I was thinking I'd got a bartgin with new PDA for £144, plus (soon to be purchased software 0) ) £250, and I was thinking, what I really really need is something to spend a few hundred more quid on, and then it struck me! what I really really really need for wondering between pubs in the centr eof Cambridge, is a GPS system I can plug into my mbile/PDA *goes in for another pit stop

Roady Tiler placing some Swedish detours on the track




@________'-'

I can't remember where I saw it, as I've seen a few things in the past few days. But one could buy snail paintings... though it could've been a dream, aa I really can't remember where I saw it. But you dip snails in paint and let them crawl across paper! Vibrating snails could make for some freaky pics maan!