h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

"An adult male in his prime can weigh between 1,200-1,600 pounds"

http://serendip.brynmawr.edu/biology/b103/f01/web1/ouellette.html




az

"Height at the shoulders generally ranges between 6 ½-7 ½ feet (over 2 metres)."

http://www.smouse.force9.co.uk/facts.htm


Well, he got that bit right, anyhow.


az

That's not even a whole one ton, if I remember my imperial measurements correctly.

A fully-laden moose? Laden with two other mooses, perhaps?

('Mooses'? 'Meese'?)

Perhaps a gravely gravid moose. With its moose spouse.


I really must get to bed.

But a question for you all to pursue:



Are there any moose in the writings of Tolkien?

753 was a classic reply-to-the-first-page.

>> Another example of the British ability to make a meal out of a word. They have a tendency to add a few extra useless syllables to create nothing more than a synonym of a perfectly good word already in use.

Wha-a-a-a-at? Canadians may not do that but Americans do that *all* *the* *time*. I would give examples, but you are bright enough not to need them.

And the difference has already been discussed somewhere in the low hundreds. Racist meaning prejudice against people based on race, Racialist having a slightly less nasty and more paternalistic nuance to it. Useful distinctions, though a distinction between sugar and honey, I admit.

Ah, I see you got there.

>> Are there any moose in the writings of Tolkien?

No, but lots of rain, dear.



B

PS - thanks for the new moniker, ~jwf~, it is one I am wearing with pride.

B

PPS - Re the Rings in Lord of the Rings... Posts 17 and 18 in this:

F150575?thread=399109

And also being "Enlgish" I kinda feel we are entitled to innovate the "English" language ...

Ah the English language what a mutable sprawling organism.

If Tolkien had the creativity of everyday folk when it comes to developing the ordinary language of living, TLOTR would have been completely unreadable.

Classic example no 1) Only the Americans could have turned a cigarette into Homosexual, but only the English could have come up with Fag Hags.

Classic Example no 2) The English are constantly amused by American and apparently Ausie Reference to Pants, which are of course Trousers, but the misunderstanding has produced many a quizzical smile on an English Face.

Classic Example No 3) The Americans don't really seem to understand English Swearing, a fact which was seemingly exploited in the character of Spike in Buffy/latterly Angel, where the word W*&$!ker was dropped into conversation with unnerving regularity. Well watching US movies they seem to have a limited vocabulary of epithets mostly variants of the Anglo Saxon one meaning Saddle.

I confess my Experience of Canadian Slang is limited but on the whole the Canadians I have met seem to understand me with more ease than the US Citizens I encounter.

I am convinced that the only reason American hasn't become a new Language all on it's own is that English is the Defacto international Language, despite the efforts of affictionardo's of Esperanto. Listening to Real Americans Speak though it does seem that everyday talk in that particular country has become somewhat different to that of the good old UK, and I suspect that it won't be that long before the fragmentation of English into many different languages will take place. It has already in some places (e.g. Jamaica) But I also think that Common speak will remain as the dialect that we all use to communicate across National Boundaries, for quite some time.

The same thing happened to Latin following the fall of the Roman Empire, eventually however it became such an obscure Language that it became a barrier to communication rather than an aide, I wonder if it will take a thousand years for that to happen to english.

<>

It seems there aren't, anhaga.

What conclusions can we draw from this? Was there never anything written about moose in his private papers or personal letters? No clues at all?

The mind reels.


az

>> The Americans don't really seem to understand English Swearing - A753527

There is more, if you want it...

B

Looks like Big Bad Ben and Grudge Sister az are in a thread drift competition - which one will win?

Will it be all about Moose and why the heck they aren't mentioned in the LOTR?

Or will it be about the nuances of swearing in English?

The choice is YOURS!

Start voting now!

I ashamed that i didn't notice the lack of mooses in LOTR.
This unjustified discrimination against moose kind has completely changed my view of Tolkien, for the worst





As for the art of swearing, not only do us Brits have a greater variety of swear words overall, but each accent also has it's own group of obscenities, some of which are quite inventive.

>> Racist meaning prejudice against people based on race, Racialist having a slightly less nasty and more paternalistic nuance to it. <<


Thanks Ben. As I suspected it is nothing more than that old British avoidance device of distancing oneself from reality by adding more syllables to objectify the subject.

Unlike a racist, a racialist then can stand a bit offish from any unpleasantnesses and safely say the most horrid slurs if they are safely enclosed in quotation marks, attributed to others and spoken for demonstration purposes only.

It's all designed to permit an intellectually justifiable pursuit of baser emotions. Like drawing the line between pornography and art farther and farther down until its are showing.


~jwf~

You mean like aluminum and aluminium?

az

>> ..thanks for the new moniker, ~jwf~, it is one I am wearing with pride. << Me too! I got mine from zarniwooplives - U735667. He first dropped by my space to say I was 'intelligent and interesting' but after some developments in the GiGa threads he was otherwise convinced that I was actually quite 'benighted and arrogant' and said so in Post 4. http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/alabaster/F59446?thread=444983 His point was well taken and I readily admitted there to assuming the online persona of a pompous ass. Post 6 etc. "My sense of humour and my love of irony keep steering me to affect this bemused, benighted, curmudgeonly arrogance in many of my postings. A sort of blow hard old fool is the online persona I try to maintain. It's a lot easier for me than pretending to be a wide-eyed teenager." Anyway, after much back pedalling and kissing of butt I have managed to drag him back to conceding I am at least 'a nice person'. What more could a god ask of his flock. Perhaps a jug of wine, some bread, a little cheese. ~jwf~

>> ..is that English is the Defacto international Language, despite the efforts of affictionardo's of Esperanto.. <<

Sadly, this too will pass.
Currently fewer than 5% of the world's population is native English speaking. The bulldog's short tale will not be wagging the world's shaggy dog stories much longer.

I know, I know, I was shocked and amazed to learn this myself. It put paid to a life of literary ambition and left me trembling like any nervous minority should in this cruel world.

Once the world is sufficiently informed of the current inequity, we will simply disappear like the minutes of the Roman Senate.

Everything we have said, thought, conjectured or imagined will be lost except for a few misunderstood and inaccurate 'quotable' translations to whichever oriental dialect finally takes over.

Tempus Fuggit.
It's a sick transit, Gloria.

~jwf~

But what phrases will they be?

Reed mile hips?

Ace malls tep form Ann, age antelope form anhk-kind?

Law doff fairings?

Fur canoes! I certainly dont.

B

That English is the de facto international language doesn't actually have all that much to do with the 'native' speakers of it - it's its prevalence as a second language that is most relevant here.

So the "oriental dialect" most likely to succeed English is probably going to be the most commonly-employed 'second' language in the world's most populous country. Which is India, as of a couple of years ago. And the language in question is, er, English.