h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?

Blackadder II Edmund: Yes. To you Baldrick, the renaissance was just something that happened to
other people wasn't it?

I haven't tracked the whole thread, as so many early posts were very UK-centric. Which I am not. But I have always loved a simple line from John Astin, as the somewhat squirrelly father of the judge "Harold T Stone" in the sitcom "Night Court" ...

Reguardless of the circumstance, and some very weird things had happened to the old guy (also the original Gomez Addams, btw), his common comment was ...

"but I feel much better now !"

... with the roll and pop of the eyes.

Surely the best Blackadder quote:

As cunning as a fox who's just been appointed professor of cunning at Oxford university?

Maybee joint with..
I've got a plan so cunning you could put a tail on it and call it a weasel.

Yes, I love Steve Wright's sense of humour! Absolutely!

Ahh, but which Steve Wright? The one from BBC Radio, like I thought, or the one I posted a link to, which isn't the one I thought, but I found extremely funny anyway...

(does that make sense?)

"Even bits of lines can have a resonance.

I'm sure we all recognise -

"....that's very nearly an armful"
"....Wild? I was furious!"
"....It's an ex-parrot"
"....he's just a very naughty boy"
".....but eet's waffer thin""

We might have a better chance of recognising them if they were correct. Viz:

"That's very nearly an armful" - correct.
"Wild? I was absolutely LIVID!" - NTNOCN, The gorilla interview.
"It is an ex-parrot." It matters that it is not contracted.
"He's a very naughty boy." Not just.
"Eet's ONLY waffer theen."

One out of five. Could do better.



Steve Wright is an irritating on radio 2 who makes Chris Evans look like a talented broadcaster. SteveN Wright is a comedy genius who despite his awesome Zen-like standup act probably made an impression on most people as the voice of "K Billy's sounds of the seventies" in Reservoir Dogs. Very much not the same person.

'Cardboard box? You were lucky'

or, alternatively

'Oh, we used to dream of living in a corridor'

Both from Monty Python's four yorkshiremen sketch.

You'll never waitress in Torquay again!

From Blackadder- "Prince 'Thick as a whale omlette' George", and "it's about as difficult as putting on a hat" "I want to be young and reckless, then I want to be middle aged and rich, then I want to be old and annoy people by pretending that I'm deaf", and my personal favourite "Bye bye Millionaires Row, hello room 12 of the Budleigh Salterton Twilight Resthome for the Terminally Short of Cash".

And I know its very anti-monarch, but I always smirk when Charlie boy is on the news....I just want the reporter to refer to him as "His Royal Highness, The Pin-Head of Wales". God, if only...

"Are you implying I'm pretentious?"

"If I gave a worm a french name you'd eat it!"

Fraser.

Also from Frasier:

Niles: "Apparently Maris [Niles' never seen ex-wife] has hooked up with an Argentinian polo player who is a cad AND a gold digger!"

Frasier's Father: "Right, she probably put all that into the ad."

Well IF we were talking about one liners in films I'd go for

"That still only counts as one!"

That was a good one!

Can someone please remind me where that quote is from because it's driving me MAD! Thank you.

The Two Towers? Why do I remember now for goodness sake?

Return of the King actually but a bouquet all the same.Now who said it to whom?

I think Gimli said it to Legolas when Legolas kiled the Mumakil (Elephant) in Pellenor Fields.

My favourite TV one liner isn't from a comedy show at all. It was the late and very much lamented John Peel on Top Of The Pops:

"If that doesn't get to number one I'll come round and break wind in your kitchen."