h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

If you happen to be the supposed boss, it does'nt matter wether you look bussy or not. But thanks for the tips, I know what to look out for!!!

play games, makes u look like u are really concentraiting on your work, just close it in time when the boss comes though

This thread is brilliant! Some of the posts are so funny that I want to read them out loud to workmates, but I can't because then they'll know what I do all day!!

It reminds me of the 'good' old days when I finished Prep early (I went to boarding-school) and would sit quietly in the prep-room reading a book. This suited all the mistresses fine apart from one complete tartar who used to tell me off for reading novels in prep-time and wouldn't listen when I tried to explain I had done all my prep - apparently it was not possible for a person to finish prep in a shorter amount of time than was actually set for it. So I'd read my text-books - thanks to her I passed GCSE Physics with an A despite spending the actual Physics lessons reading 'Lord of the Rings' at the back of the class (physics teacher couldn't have kept order in a mortuary, bless her).

My best skive is to sit at my computer writing frantically away and pasting chunks of text into e-mails and sending them off. I'm actually sending myself at home ideas and notes for novels...

Feel urge to run away and hide my face now.

no don't hide! keep giving me good idea's

I close the office door

Or I take a CAD drawing and walk around the building looking at the ceiling, checking the drawing and looking at the ceiling again. Always look like you're going somewhere important.
Always carry something.
Keep tapping the keyboard - if you're not, then people think you're browsing the inter

Liam.

I still don't know what the alt key does....?

Holding [alt] down then pressing [tab] brings up the next program in the task bar as the active program (holding shift as well makes it go backwards) letting you cycle through legit programs you keep running in the background - learn the time it takes to refresh the new window though or you may be caught out

but the shift thing doesn't work for me

Handy little gadget though about4 months after a tip is given, i learn how to use it

I learnt another handy one last week - hold down the windows key and press M - minimises all windows (slightly better than alt tab because you can do it quickly and re-open the program you're pretending to work in without risking accidentally opening up the webpage you were in the middle of browsing through.

Also never *ever* tidy your desk - a tidy desk is a sign that you don't have enough work to do. You need at least half an inch thickness of papers covering the majority of the desk surface to make it look like you're *so* busy desk tidying just pales into insignificance

keep these tips rollin in!!!!

Windows-M? Wow. Brilliant!

I organised phone numbers. I managed to put about three humdred in numerical order before I lost the will to live. My problem wasn't work avoidance, but simply not having anything to do. It was awful; they were paying me for nine hours work, and I wasn't putting in five! Once I'd sorted post I was pretty much done. I hated it.

Thats like me. i get the odd invoice in to pay and then nothing. but i'm ok with it, i get to hootoo

My current 'working really hard' camouflage is to tool about on hootoo, ready to flick to the catalogue screen or my email screen at a moment's notice.

Or write things down on scrap paper. That actually scares the 'customers' away from my Enquiry Desk - she can actually write! By hand! Must be important!

It is rather scary that the student of today is so easily impressed.

I've got my notepad full of scribbles next to me too!
am typing as quickly as i can on hootoo, minmised hootoo to the size of my email left bottom corner box, so it looks like i'm just lookin at an email.
I've got a file on my right open, a ringbinder on my left open. And am lookin all the way through one file for a phonenumber thats on the front of the file because i'venothing else to do

I think people suspect i'm working....

Using the alt-tab thing can be really useful. Try to have a google window open with a topic on that's vaguely related to your work. If anyone catches you then your "doing some background work to help you with a project/task/etc".
Always have a pen in your hand as if you're about to write some important notes.
If you're working your way through a pile of papers, never put the completed ones to one side; try to put them back on the bottom of the pile. That way no-one knows how far through the job you are.

Does it show that I work in a paper-based office with computers in? :-0

I work in a near paperless office and no net access

If you have your own filing cabinet go to it get a large bundle of files, return to your desk look at them desparingly then just shuffle through them a few times.

Actually I was recently disciplined because I do no work, so don't listen to me my techniques are rubbish!

last week, i got a load of clients cheque books out and just rang the bank asking for the balances on all of them, took ages, what with having a conversation about the weather with the person on the other end too, rivetting conversation but wasted some time!

I've only just noticed how bad i was at spelling all those months ago