h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

so far i've stapled some pages together, saved a couple of documents three times under the same name, tidied my desk so i can see it and made another cuppa.

what else can i do?

According to some the best technique is just to constantly have a piece of paper in your hand and be equi-distant between the photocopier and your desk.

1) Open at least 17 windows on your PC
2) Change h2g2 preferences to 'plain' skin
3) Reduce the size of the h2g2 window so that it is not the largest on your screen
4) Post constantly, typing as quickly as possible
5) Do not lurk - keep typing
6) If you do pause for a second to read a funny remark - do not laugh out loud


(At least that's how I've kept my job for the last two years )

Researching websites.

After all it is the best way to keep up to date with what is catching the average surfer's eye

sorry, but i did do a mirk at that one, couldn't help it! but am now going to change preferences, am already minimal and have many documents open, just keep on opening and saving-close, ope- save,close


then it all goes wrong and i lost onesomewhere

Remember the keyboard combination Alt Tab.

i didn't mirk, i smirked actually. but can't find a 'plain' button to press...

huh? what does the alt key do? i know it moves your cursor to diff boxes and makes big leaps in word but other than that?

Ah, there isn't a plain button unless you're already in plain skin (Catch 22 anyone )

edit the URL to replace classic/alabaster/brunel or whatever with the word 'plain'

Then click on preferences and it should appear...

It's not a particularly pretty skin but it doesn't stand out on your screen like the rest

ahhhhh i seeeee, thankyou.

now whats this about alt?

I've found that shaking my fist at the screen helps....
That and posting lots on Hootoo. As long as the keys are clacking, the boss don't mind....

You should get a magic management necklace for your PHB.

Pick up the phone when no-one is on the other end and then indulge yourself on the computer as if your dealing with a query. Take a sheet of paper with you as you leave the room as if you are going to another office.

If you sit close to a printer, then print lots of things, and pick them up quickly. Anything. I've printed off about 4 pages of the "Tell us a joke" thread this afternoon. I look really productive.

One hand on the duster, phone wedged on one shoulder, other hand on the keyboard and a stern look on your face. Always has served me well, hopefully always will.
A guitarist friend of mine worked in a guitar shop and looked busy by 'playtesting' the guitars all day, every day. Now there's an idea.

I had a work colleague who would get bored and decide he needed an extended lunch-break and a good read. He used to gather up every file and sheet of paper he could lay his hands on, bury a good novel in the pile, carefully balance his lap-top on top and walk past his boss' s glass-walled office to the board-room, frowning mightily. Then he would sit facing the door, spread everything all over the table, prop the novel on his opened lap top, and rest one hand, with biro, on a jotter full of sums and notes. If anyone looked in he would appear to be auditing the departmental accounts and far too important to be disturbed. Once the boss was so impressed he with his own hands bought him a mug of coffee to keep him going.

He said he got the idea from a Dilbert book. I wish I had the guts to have tried, but I never had any work that could feasibly need a whole undisturbed board-room to do it in.

i'd love to do that one, but don't have a laptop...and the front of my puter faces the boss...so i have to lean really close to the screen.one day someone came up to me and told me the health & safety proceedures for sitting properly!

I do the "wander round with a piece of paper and a pen in my hand" a lot.

Someimes vary it with a diskette, to make me look IT-smart.

And I'll send a work related document to the printer, but leave it there, so that others will see I am doing something relevant.

Always leave files on your desk open (that's the papery ones, not the computer ones...)

Also leave visible a big desk diary with lots of scribbled notes, post-its, figures etc scrawled on it