h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Im a supervisor at the checkouts of a supermarket, and if I stand around doing nothing, it doesnt look good both the customers and the managers who are upstairs watching on the cameras.

The best thing is to pick up a clipboard, look at it for a while, tick things off with a pencil, then looked really frustrated at it as if it is giving you the wrong info, then throw it down and search around for another clipboard and do the same.
Repeat as necessary.

My best one is actually to pick up the 'missing book' forms and disappear into the stacks for half-an-hour. I am clearly looking at books and holding book forms ergo I am looking for missing books. HA. I'm actually planning my weekend bathtub reading

Yup, I do the above when I need some breathing space!

I currently have a selection of plastic components on my desk that I need to get signed off, but the person to do the signing off isn't in. Cue lots of walking round the office with a bag full of bits, a notebook, and a frown - it then looks like you are trying to do something, but are being held up by others .

What a great thread! I usually use the method of flicking from hootoo to actual work when the boss walks by.

I often don't have enough to do. When my boss was away skiing last winter, I wrote a short article that appeared in the BBC Book of the Future.

I work in the public sector (so I am surfing at your expense, tax payers). How about the rest of you?

Liz
~

I'm public sector too. I figure that because i pay council tax I'm paying my own wages so if I want to do nothing at work I can.

My boss doesn't see it that way though!

I find locking myself in the filing room and having a nap works well!

Call something up on the screen, peer intently at it, pretend to make notes about it and if anyone comes over click it close saying, oh damn I've lost it.

I often write something on a post it note (usually a rude word) then take it to my filing cabinet, return with a file then look at the post it note and see if it still makes me laugh.

Also, for those of you who can't even be bothered pretending to work why not try throwing a pritt stick at the ceiling and seeing how long you can get it to stay up there for. It's a great game

works with blu-tak on a pencil too#!

Oh we're not allowed prit sticks

I can sign off purchases of up to £10,000 but I have to ask permission to get a new pen out of the stationary cupboard

Take a file from the shelf. Thumb through it, look concerned, collect another file, pretend to compare the two. Put the first back. Take another. Do this until you get bored or run out of files, or it looks like some-one is about to offer you help as you seem over worked.

Here's a radical suggestion...

Do some actual w**k.

a traitor in our midst!!!!!

Get out of here, you filthy minded man!

How dare you mention that four letter word W"88K on this thread!!

I don't as such mind working , she confessed hesitantly...

But I sit at the Enquiry desk of a big academic library for five or six hours out of every working day and if someone does'nt come up and ask me something I have NOTHING to do. But reading a book or getting on with writing one are both frowned apon by THE Management. Hence techniques for looking usefully employed rather than merely entertaining myself between confused people.

Some of the best tricks have been mentioned already. Be quick on Alt-TAB and Alt-Esc, use plain skin (only if you absolutely have to, otherwise you know whats's Goo(d) for you), scribble meaningless notes, frown, etc.

One of the main advantages of being a conscript is that nobody really expects you to do any work, though, so I manage quite easily...


cheers
~Bistro

Today I feigned a headache, that way I've got an excuse for rubbish productivity!

I spent most of yesterday's shift correcting mistakes I'd made on a previous, high-productivity day, it pays to be slow at times!

Hi Agapanthus – shelf walking/checking is a brilliant time waster. I also enjoy ‘reviewing’ old stock to see if it’s worth keeping.

I work in a college library. If there aren’t any students about then there isn’t much for me to do. Book deliveries always turn up when I’m frantically busy in term times, and there aren’t any staff in atm for me to go and hassle for new orders.

They have libraries at colleges?! Someone should have told me while I was in full time education!

Actually I think it was doing nothing at Uni that really set me up for my lack of work in the 'real world'!

Dial the speaking clock, pretend to be holding an interesting conversation.