h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'm not a birdwatcher, but i love spotting s as much as the next man... no, more than the next man.

It's hard w**k but someone's got to do it..

Seem to be w**king like a junior doctor at the moment.

I used to w**nk on stage with my axe. How the crowd applauded at the climax!

I prefer watching others w*****g to doing so myself.

I would definitely rather tell someone else to w**k than have to w**k myself...

but would you go as far as paying someone else to w**k for you

Oh definitely...if I had the money and resources, I would definitely pay for someone else to do all the dirty w**k around here!

well I do my best to ensure that they do all the w*****g around here. I find it much more enjoyable if I can get somebody else to do my w*****g for me.

If I had my way I'd never have to w**k again, the only problem is that if I didn't w**k, then no w**king would get done at all!

with the load of w*****s I w**k with that wouldn't be a problem here

I tell you what, I get a dirty feeling from w**king for money, but if they didn't pay me I wouldn't do it!

yes, I've spent quite long periods of my life not w*****g and the idea that you're unfulfilled if you're not w*****g is rubbish but in the end it comes down to money

Ah, just back from w**k, tis my weekend now so no w**king until Sunday...

I suppose it all harks back to the old "idle hands are the devil's playground" deal...that, if you're not w**king, you're more likely to do evil things out of boredom...

...but isn't w**king evil enough??

you lucky lucky
I'll be w*****g away solidly until 07:30 AM

I've found a nice way to pass the time is to call someone while you're w**king...it makes the whole experience much more pleasant and enjoyable!

well I only start w*****g when someone calls and stop w*****g as soon as the call stops, does this mean theres something wrong with me

I think you're luck that you get enough calls to maintain a significant level of w**k...I most often have no outside stimulation to help me through hours of w**king...

yes but at this time of night i might only get a call every 10-15 minutes. I don't feel that I'm w*****g properly when I only w**k that infrequently

Aye, but it woften takes me a good 30 minutes to an hours before I can work up enough resolve to actually begin w**king...and even then I stop and start all the time, I have a ridiculously short attention span...