h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The bus system as a whole is one of my petty hates. I mean, it's better for the environment and everything, but it seems that you already have to know how it works to be able to learn how it works .

And cruelty to apostrophe's .

Some people think that all plural's and any word that end's in 'S' need's an apostrophe.
You see this every day. Even on official sign's.

People who mess up tracklists on the Online Cd Database.

Software that, when burning a CD, assumes that you want the tracks in alphabetical order.

I hear that...

Also, for some reason, slogans in "quote marks".

Brand Name and Sons
"The reliable people"

What? Are you quoting? Did someone else take your slogan, so now you have to quote it? Is it a way of showing that it's ironic?

Blue Vauxhall Astra Drivers

I suspect an unpleasant encounter.

When I'm in that little bit that's marked out in the middle of the road, to turn off to the left/right, and there's a bus or a lorry coming either way.

or blue vauxhal astras

Them too.

Anne Robinson

...driving a Blue Vauxhall Astra?

The way department stores are always set up so you have to get past the perfume counters (also known as the stench department) before you can find anything you want. This does wonders for allergies.



Ivan.

Escalator arrangements in dept stores that mean you have to walk half a mile to get another up escalator. They think they're being really clever and making you see more stuff, but it just makes me resentful towards the shop.

Spoilt children who bite you and then start crying to their horrified parents when you gently but firmly remove them.
Ice cream that hurts your teeth.
Stubbed toes.
The way that Xmas trees inevitably leave mountains of shedded bits around them that get everywhere and actually HURT.

Having no-one to blame but yourself.

Comma splicing, it's just ridiculous. Learn how to use a semi colon.

I quite agree. I love using semicolons; in fact, I take pride in their use.

I hate the way people in emails and instant messages refuse to capitalize anything and have to use one-letter abbreviations for everything: "u" for "you", "ur" for "your" or "you're", "no" for "know", etc. I make a point of using correct spelling and grammar in my emails and instant messages, and I often get scolded by my friends for it.

MuseSusan - I'll expand that to cover all 'textspeak' and other excuses to kick the language into the gutter. English is a wonderfully flexible thing, with so many shades of meaning, and some people can't find anything to use it for apart from inane ungrammatical chatter .

Ivan.