h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Actually there's a case to be made for much of the spellings of the letter 'names' in that list. Such as "yoo" instead of "uw".

It's stuck in our mind, yes, but that has two effects:
1) I remember it because I don't like it, and therefore I am less likely to buy the product.
2) Either way when that method becomes so commonplace that everyone uses it, it ceases to stick out.

OK if a whole country say it - fine,(Ireland ?) but we weren't talking about that. You can't call it just an accent to add a complete new letter to a word. The Oxford English Dictionary has it spelt and pronounced aitch - yes it's in there as a word to describe the letter h in the a section. There is also an aitchbone (because of the shape ?)and an aitch (n)is also something to do with a pipe (likewise). It's like saying I hate an happle in an hairoplane - that's not an accent it's mispronouncing a word.

Nobody's gonna die because someone pronounces it 'haitch' but I have to confess it makes me fume. It's such a lazy pronunciation.

When you can't think of a word and somebody offers a daft one that everyone knows:

Me: The pressure on Blair this week will.....er....er..

Person: Accelerate?

If I say 'haitch' constantly for hours, will it drive Spinks to suicide?

a 'haitch' flash mobbing, eh?

Now there's a thought!

Time to resurrect the H2G2 Flash Mob thread!


We all meet at a pre-determined time and place and chant 'haitch' for quarter of an hour

The haitch thing is one of my pettiest of petty hates and would make my top ten. I've got my top three sorted:

1) Soap star actors who act in character on the front of TV mags

2) Well paid lottery presenters who pretend they need to win it

3) TV announcers who, when introducing a programme following a trailer for a comedy show, pretend to be laughing at the clip.

I think I can narrow the second one down to just Eamonn Holmes.

yeah, dat haitch thing bugg me ttooo, man, expescellially when I am being beaten up, then I DEMAND that poeple pronounce, and ennunciate their letters correctly.

"Take dat, muddaf***a!"

"Ow! Ow! Ow! THat! THat! Let me hear that 'thh' sound! Ow! Ow!"

"Am goen break ya fess"

"Aaaargh! Not the toes! Not the toes! By the way, you really should see a speech therapist! AYEAAAAA!"

"Ain' nuthin' butta rich@ss weakboy "

"Please! Aha, aha, aha, aaaaaaargh! Get your enunciation right!"

THUD

"Learn him ter tell me har ter speak."

You didn't learn me nuffink!

If only I'd OF remembered my uzi.

HHAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!AITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITHAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!CH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!HAITCH!

haitch is for hegg, hanimal and hexpresso.

* Women who insist on going out in the summer months in sleeveless tops and shorts without shaving their armpits/legs.
* telemarketers
* people asking me where someone in my family is. I dont know... phone them, they all have mobiles!!
* people who apologise for absolutely no reason at all.
* washing up
* people who think they're being funny/sarcastic, when in fact, they're just plain rude.
* the gap in Madonna's front teeth
* cards for cab companys.. in fact junk mail in general.
* being called stupid when I'm not!
* having to fill the kettle everytime I want a cuppa
* the 'Lombard direct' advert
* the 'elephant.co.uk' advert
* having to start a new loo roll because the last person was too lazy to throw the tube away and put a new one on ready for the next visitor.
* Jehovah's Witnesses... I dont knock on their door at 8am on a sunday! If I wanted religion, I'd get it!! Leave me alone!


Ok, that's it... for now!

*People who say "bought" instead of "brought"

*Inane childrens' television presenters

*Apostrophe abuse; "potatoe's, onion's"

I'm getting myself wound up.Grrrr.

Aaah, the ol' Grocers' (pertaining to the many grocers who make the error - did I get it right? ) Apostrophe

People who say 'brought' instead of 'bought'

Down Felix, down

Ah yes, that's the one;Last week I saw "Book's for sale " (cringe, seethe)"AARRRGGGHHH!!!"

People who use "lent" for "borrowed" and vice versa.

I'm going back to my box for a lie down.

People who get new tones for their mobile phones and play them for hours on end. Jus shut up, it ain't that clever OK?

Going to the theater to see a great musical I've been dying to see for years, and having the stage manager come up in front of the audience at the beginning, as usual, to explain no food, no flash photography, turn your cell phones off, etc., and then hearing the SAME cell phone go off repeatedly during the performance. This has happened more times than I can count, including times when I have served as a usher or in some other capacity and had to deal directly with the person. Grrrrrrr…

People who think that cliche or quoting is the same as comedy.

12-14 year old males who hang around internet forums and chatrooms calling everyone gay and speaking in that h@x0r language and just being in general anoying F**ks

'Reality' and Pop Idol-like tv shows, even worse are people who go on and on about what is going on in them as if it is the most important thing in the world.

Breathe and relax