h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

"I have spoken to alot of people who have read Jordan's Biography and they all say what a good business woman she is"

I saw her interviewed on telly once and she said something along the lines of "Look, I'm not brainy so what can I do to make something of myself? I have a right to make something of myself any way I can - just like anyone else".

She has a point there I think. Still don't think she deserves to be called 'hero'.

"Celebrity Apprentice!"

I've thought of that too, although I think ultimately AS would not approve - he seems to speak out about people being there for anything other than business reasons.

I would like to see the Apprentice done with people who've succeeded in business or are noted for being particularly creative. But if they do make a Celebrity Apprentice my money is on it being full of soap/gossip mag stars.

Never mind Jordan running BT, my mind's boggling at the thought of Jordan running

to Jordan running.

I agree with BK about the bikes- they makean awful noise. I'm also appalled by the amount of Smack'eads, as they call themselves, that you can see on the street, smoking their stinking stuff everywhere, and nothing is done about it.

They have an advert on TV for a programme about the Chelsea flower show. The bit at the end says "You'd be surprised how competitive it is". Why is it that programme makers feel they have to crowbar conflict into programmes (particularly documentaries)?

I hate automatic doors that let you nearly walk into them before they begin to open.

I hate traffic lights that turn to red when no-one is waiting to go at the other lights.

I hate having my tea interrupted by some anus who seems to think I want to change my mortgage/buy insurance/take part in a survey.

Why don't you unhook the phone?
Just for dinner, of course.


I hate having my discussions with my partner being listened into, or being in overly crowded places with no hope of getting out within less than an hour and looking for things that I need where it would make sense for them to be, just to discover they're somewhere else, where it wouldn't.

Can you tell I've been to Ikea today?

Yes, I often unhook the phone during meals only to remember that its still off the hook around 11.20pm.

Print out a pretty big sign on a nice piece of card saying

"Put the phone on the hook when finished eating! Bon Appetite!"

Or something to that affect, and place it infront of your plate.

Getting big pieces of card jammed in my canon printer.

Single/Divorced/Unattached people being singled out as gay if they develop a liking to their own company.

People replying "Is It?" when you say something to them.

You don't say.

People trying very hard to smile at the lame joke you've just made and say "that's SO funny!", or even worse, when it's not supposed to be funny, and you know and they know they have nothing to say in reply.
Is it restricted to Americans, or has it globalised by now?

Yeah. I get laughed at all the time when I'm not even attempting to be funny. That bugs me.

Good one !!

SWL, that's SO funny what you just did there!!!

Eyethangyew

Yurwelcome!

Oh, yeah - I *hate* it when corn sticks in my teeth.

I hate it when I order Steak Pie n Chips in a pub, then I get Steak Pie, Chips, Peas, Carrots etc etc.

I don't want veg. If it doesn't say it on the menu, don't put them on the plate

And don't get me started on kebabs