h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

"Mmm, open faced club sand wedge."

Bart: Is that Dad?
Lisa: Either that or Batman's really been letting himself go.

Homer: In your face, space coyote!
Marge: (concerned) Space coyote?

"Yay- sleep! That's where I'm a viking!"
-Ralph Wiggum

Bart: "Wow, Dad! You just killed the zombie Flanders!"
Homer: "He was a zombie?"

Everybody have a favorite line, just plant yours here!
D'oh
a deer
a female deer (when Bart gets Stampy the Elephant and they track him down to the tar pits)

burns says 'hoi hoi' when answering the phone. does anyone know why?

Ebert

There's so many but:-

Fat Tony pulls up alongside a police car, gives the cops a wedge of money and says "you ain't seen nothing." Cops: "I don't know why everybody's always bad-mouthing the Mafia."


When Marge is in the real-estate exam:

Examiner: "The exam is over, you may now undermine each other's confidence."

Sterotypical Sailor/Captain, turns to Marge: "Arrr. I nailed that one about houseboats, did ye?"

This might have been mantioned before (I'm just too lazy to check) but one of my favorites is from the "The Shining" episode where Homer has written: "No beer and no TV make Homer go something something" all over the place..

Mr Burns See My Vest song

Some men hunt for sport
Others hunt for food
The only thing I'm hunting for
Is an outfit that looks good

From the missus:

"Fox turned into a soft-core porn channel so gradually I didn't even notice!"

Bart is burying his fraudulent credit card. Next to him, Fat Tony and the boys are burying a body rolled in carpet.

Legs: We didn't see nothin' if you didn't see nothin'.

From the episode where Bart works at the burlesque house, and the excellent song "We put the spring in Springfield"

2 of the girls singing to Rev'd Lovejoy:

Our skimpy costumes ain't so bad
They seem to entertain your dad.

Grampa Simpson, after being left in charge of Santa's Little Helper and Snowball 2:
"Which one of you is the mailman?"

Bart: (Singing)"Can I be a booze hound too dad?"
Homer: "Not til you're fifteen..."

You just reminded me of one... 'House of Horror Shining Episode

The Shinning 'don't you mean the Shini...'

No! Definitely the Shinning!

Marge :Homer the plant just rang, they said if you don't come in today don't bother coming in Monday.
Homer: Wahoo! four day weekend...
or Ralph: Look daddy - whale eggs!

"Are you Senile, or are you trying to stall us?"

"A little from column A, and a little from column B"

One of my favourite lines is from the episode with the Frankenstein take-off (Mr Burns creates a robot-monster, can't remember why...)

Mr Burns: Dammit Smithers, this is brain surgery, not rocket science!



*goes away to remember more quotes*

@ military school -

willem dafoe, army guy: You're moving in with group L.
student: group L!? But... they smell.
willem dafoe, army guy: yes, yes, we've all heard the rhyme.

"burns says 'hoi hoi' when answering the phone. does anyone know why?"

No, but if you look in any of th official simpsons guides which have quotes you will see it is spelled "Aho-hoy". I think.

Burns also uses the phrase in "The Joy of Sect" when he attempts to get the nuclear power plant employees to worship him as a god. He is standing up on a balcony and shouts "Ahoy-hoy lowly mortals"

One of my favourite quotes has to be in the episode "Marge in Chains"

Hutz: Uh-Oh. We've drawn Judge Snyder.
Marge: Is that bad?
Hutz: Well he's had it in for me ever since I kinda ran over his dog.
Marge: You did?
Hutz: Well replace the word "kinda" with the word "repeatedly," and the word "dog" with "son."

In fact a lot of my favourite quotes are by Lionel Hutz.