h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Some guy has invented a modern chastity belt. I don´t know how it works though, some electronic gizmery.

Would be a guy wouldn't it?

There are some examples of metal chastity belts. These, remember, are the type of people who thought a spiked p***s ring was just the job to keep the mind of growing lads off dirty things. Although they probably didn't care if the women got infected; at least they died pure. There was one man who fitted his wife with a home-made metal belt before he went off somewhere; on his return a few months later, she'd died of something nasty and rust-related.
They're not always uncomfortable and fearsome though, modern ones are pretty innoccuous. (It's not just men that design them, too- after all, some varieties are designed for men. ) Most are obviously for make-believe but I've heard of one woman who got one after she was raped twice. Taking no chances.
There were metal corsets too, btw.

My favorite is a device patented during the Victorian era to keep young men from having erections. It's a pair of underpants that deliver an electric shock if a certain appendage extends itself and touches any one of the sensors. Then there's also the pair that used low currents of electricity to enhance sexual performance. The Victorians loved to use electricity to cure what ailed them...

I wonder what they'd think of 'day-glo' condoms! (Batteries not included.)

That sounds awfully advanced for the Victorian era I think.

"Wonder what they would think about Viagra?"

They had an electric corset, too. It delivered 'health-giving' energy to the back, or something.

And people still buy these kind of things. The new Magnetic Pillow!

I could use that right now--my back is killing me!

Me too...
Several people have now officially deemed me the most perverse person they know. Oh the pride.

Fraulein "Pub Trivia Goddess" Grafenberg, get yourself a gravity inversion table. It'll fix your back in no time.

hi all Victorian doctors had to be true perverts, they invented the vibrator more or less, they believed stimulation of those parts was good as it was like a sneeze in that it removed germs and waste. The used electricity and passed it through the parts. Before that they often stimulated by hand. Now you know why people favoured being a doctor then and not now!

Well, there's a thing...
Nothing perverse about vibrators, though.
I always prefer to think of Victorian doctors as English baddies in swirling cloaks, who chuckle harshly then disappear into dingy back-alleys thronged by mist and feeble street-lamps. And cackle gleefully over the body of a restrained victim being tortured with primitive electrical devices.
Dear me, I must do something about these dreams!

I never said there was anything wrong with vibrators, it was the idea of teams of doctors and one women who they were allowed to do what they wanted to ie electrodes etc

Well, they were doctors...
(actually, I'm only a doctor but this is my lunch hour.)
Another Python sketch coming on...
"Who're they?"

"They're just medical students... now breathe in and out, in time to the music."

ahem

A doctor here in Denmark got thrown to jail for doing sexual things with 35 of his patients. How do you ever reach that number without getting caught? And some of the things seem pretty hard to convince the patient it is for medical purposes.

Well, our own dear Harold Shipman ('Carry on Doctor')managed to kill an unbelievable number of his patients. And he wasn't particularly clever about it. Still, we're brought up to trust doctors...
'I'm afraid I have to kill you. It's for your own good, you know.'
'Oh, that's quite alright doctor. I understand.'

-Mandragora, who's been around too many satirical t-shirt slogans
('I can't go out with him- he's a gynaecologist! Do you KNOW what they do all day?!')